One day in bikini bottom Spongebob was cooking on the grill. "I like krabby patties.", said Spongebob. Squidward was at the cash register, trying to ignore spongebob. "I like krabby patties.", repeated Spongebob for the 69th time. "Omfg spongebob you are frikkin gay for those fan frik krabby big daddy's patties.", said squidward giving up on trying to ignore spongebob. "Stop it Squidward, you're really stressing me out", said spongebob as he pulled a bong out from under the grill. "Oh yeah, that's the stuff", said spongebob drunkenly. "C'mon smokebob seaweedpants, stop hogging all the seaweed!", said squidward.
After smoking ALL the weed seaweed, spongebob and squidward were feeling a lot better. "I could really use a krabby patty after that trip", said spongebob. "Oh you mean that pile of garbage on a bun?" Asked squidward. Spongebob gasped in horror, "YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE KRABBY PATTIES?" Yelled spongebob in shock and repulsion. "WTF squidward, why do you even work at the KRUSTY krab anyways?" "I despise krabby patties", said squidward. "Say that again. I f***ing dare you", said spongebob as he pulled out his shotgun and cocked it with one hand. "Fine, spongebob, I'm sorry. I'm sorry! It's just that- that-"
"SPIT IT OUT SQUIDWARD!"
"It's just that I've never really tried one...", said squidward quietly.
"Just do it squidward, stop procrastinating", said spongebob. "But I don't think I will like krabby patties", protested squidward. "Everyone likes krabby patties you silly little bi***. Now just try it", replied spongebob. Squidward takes a bite, and it is true love, but Squidward tries to hide it so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of spongebob. Spongebob follows up with his classic quote, "You like Krabby Patties don't you Squidward."
Squidward wakes up in the middle of the night, and immediately realizes that he can't suppress his crippling addiction to krabby patties any longer. He runs to the krusty krab with a crowbar and a drill. Squidward uses the crowbar to smash through the locked glass doors. He runs to the kitchen, then to the door of the krabby patty vault. Squidward tries to use the drill to drill through the metal to the lock, but the only thing that happens when the drill bit hits the vault is sparks. Squidward realizes, with growing desperation, that he won't be able to get through to the krabby patties.
Squidward, starting to feel the effects of withdrawal, sits in the corner. He enjoys not hearing the constant sound of the children in his basement screaming for help. Just, then, Squidward hears footsteps, so he shrinks back into the shadows. The footsteps belong to spongebob, here for his 2am inventory check. Spongebob opens the vault door and Squidward catches a glimpse of the krabby patties, and slowly stands up. The floorboard makes a slight creak, and spongebob whips around, shouting, " WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU CAN'T HAVE THE KRABBY PATTIES! YOU HAVE TO PRY THEM FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS YOU MOTHERF***ER!" "That, I can do", mutters Squidward as he grabs a kitchen knife and stabs spongebob in the stomach.
"There will never be enough", thinks Squidward, as he realizes he had just eaten the last krabby that will ever be made, now that spongebob is dead. Rather than suffering the effects of withdrawal and a court hearing, Squidward breaks into Mr. Krabs' office, and picks up the revolver from under his desk. He holds it to his head and pulls the trigger, ending it all.