All recognizable characters/labels belong to their rightful owners. Copyright/infringement is in no way intended. Enjoy :)
She stood out in the crowd.
Was a little too loud.
But that's why we love her.
She's not like other girls;
she could've conquered the world...
until you broke her
down...
"What's this? You're trying to make a slam book? Can't make a book about yourself, honey." I looked up as a voice sounded sharply in my ear.
Rosalie Hale, head Cheerleader here at Forks High was standing over me. What a surprise. I should have known better than to get my song-book out in the hallway. It's not like this is anything new to me. In fact, I'd say me having anything in my hands right now was pretty stupid. Why wouldn't Rosalie tear it up? Because I'm a person?
No, you're obviously not. You can't even move half of your mouth! You're a freak! The voices rang in my head. I pursed my lips. I was avoiding eye contact with Rose. I knew that her ice-blues would be too much for me. The phrase, 'if looks could kill' should come to one's mind at a time like this. That's like, Rosalie's motto around here.
I still hadn't looked at her.
"Look at me, bitch." It was as if she'd read my mind.
I glanced up, feeling awkward. I have Bell's Palsy and that's a condition that causes half of the muscles in my face to be paralyzed. Now, I'm one of the luckier victims, as it really only affects the left half of my lips, doesn't make my face droopy, and that's it. I've had it since I was born, but the kids at school just don't seem to get that I cannot help the situation. There really isn't a cure, and there's no telling where it came from or if it will ever go.
And Rosalie, the head of the school, just didn't seem to get it. Sure, she can get straight A's, be president of the Student Council, Captain of every squad, but damn she just can't understand disabilities. If you're disabled – you are not on her good side. And you are aware of it, as she calls you things like, 'retard', 'handicap', 'stupid' and anything else that she could come up with. I don't know if I can even take it personally anymore. She doesn't really have anyone else to bully around here. It's as if I'm used to her bullying.
"Didn't you hear me? What? Are you fucking retarded?" She grabbed a handful of my hair, shaking my head roughly. I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut. No need to give her that last bit of satisfaction. It's the least that I can do.
I listened, not really feeling anymore, as she shoved me into a locker and took my song-book. She threw it onto the ground, ripping it up with her feet and kicking it into the on-going crown. If it wasn't gone then, then it's surely nothing now.
"Stay out of my fucking way from now on! Loser!" She kicked me in the thigh. I knew that there'd be quite a bruise later, but also that I shouldn't let her know that. She's done more than enough bruising around here.
I listened, keeping my head against my knees as the crowd died down and the bells rang. Class had long-since started. I really didn't want to go back. Now I don't even have my song-book. That's something that I've managed to hang onto since the middle-school years. I'm seventeen now.
"Oh! Do you need help?" I heard a voice. It was smooth, soft, and comforting. I didn't move. Maybe, if he didn't see who I was, then he'd actually help. Knowing the kids at this school, if they saw me, they'd make a run for the hills. Nobody wants to be seen with Isabella Swan. I'm worse than an infectious-skin-disease. He kept speaking, over-riding my thoughts. "Hello? Are you okay?"
I ignored him as I head papers shuffling in front of my feet. Whoever it was, they were trying to help me. He was stacking them up beside me. I know that I need to thank him – he's probably not even a student here. Fuck, he's probably not even real. I'm just going absolutely insane! Even if he didn't know who I was – then he'd figure it out quickly enough when I tried to smile at him and only half of my mouth worked.
"Sorry...um...hope you're okay...whoever you are." He murmured, his voice confused as he stood. "Really, if you need anything, you should say so now. I need to get to class."
Nothing.
"Well...I hope your day is okay..."
And then he was gone. The one person to ever help me. I smiled down at my legs. It wasn't a real smile though. I was crying too. I let out a muffled cry, but didn't move.
I ended up not going back to class...
Are you happy now
that she's on the ground?
And do you realize the words you say
make bruises that don't fade away?
Are you happy now
that you've brought her down?
And she's thinking that she won't fit in
'cause you said something's wrong with her.
Are you happy now?
"Stop it!" I cried as her heel-clad foot slammed into my stomach.
"I told you to stop it! Don't you dare tell me what to do!" Rose, and her newest follower Alice, screamed at me.
"Please," I tried to curl up into a ball. My words were strangled enough as it was.
"You're so retarded! You don't even deserve to be here!" Rose laughed loudly, evilly as Alice kicked me in the back of the leg.
I head a noise outside the door. The two of them broke it up quickly, scattering out the opposite door. I prayed that nobody would come in, and I got what I wished for. Slowly, I rolled over onto my stomach. I should have been grossed out by the floors, instead I was trying to figure out how to get out of my own mess.
I grabbed onto the cool marble sinks. A breath came from my sore lungs as I tried to get up and get a grip. When I saw myself in the mirror, I groaned. I looked way worse than I felt. Beating and screaming aside.
My clothing was one story. It was all tattered. How the two of them managed to tear up my black skinny-jeans, is beyond me. I shook my head, sniffling as I tried to fix my torn shirt back into place. This wasn't going to work. The rest of me agreed!
My hair was all over the fucking place. It was long, and dark brown. Practically black. And then there was my makeup. I've never worn a lot, but what I had was smudged and smeared to a point beyond repair. Not to mention the bruise that was clearly forming from my temple and down my jawline. I didn't even bring cover-up today, so I'll have to go home now. Even that will be difficult as my clothing is torn and walling is painful.
Boy, don't I got a great life.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes locked with my own brown ones. They were growing redder, tears flowing now. Letting out a sob, I shook my head. Why do I have to be this way? What's wrong with me? I didn't want to have Bells' Palsy. I didn't want to be ugly. Stupid. Retarded. It was never my choice.
I just want to be everybody else...
Why can't they see that?
He liked science, not sports.
He knew what he stood for.
He's not like you, you don't like that.
15 years down the road, he could be everything you won't.
But right now you're breaking him
down...
I was walking down the hall, my head down, waiting for them to attack. I got all the way to the turn before I realized that they hadn't made an appearance. This was weird... I glanced around, afraid that they were changing things up today. They've done it before, I'm sure they'll do it again.
I flinched as I heard Rosalie's shrill laugh. Only, it was down the hall. I turned my head slowly, watching as she stomped on some fancy-looking project. It looked as if it'd been worked on for quite a while. Whose was it and why was she tearing it up? It's weird to see her do something so cruel from the bystander's view. Something I've never experienced.
That's when I got a glimpse of him. His hair was a messy red-brown, his eye green and framed with glasses, and his body perfect. He was taller, and wearing a t-shirt with the Transformers symbol on it. Optimus Prime, I think? That's beside the point! He was tall, lean, and yet toned. He looked amazing with his loose-fitted jeans and snug t-shirt. He was gorgeous. Like an angel.
Angels should never cry. Not like he was just then.
Rosalie would make an angel cry.
"What's this?"
"Th-that was my biology project..." He stuttered, his voice thick. I inched closer, staying up against the lockers. I tried to blend in, afraid that she'd spot me. "I needed it to 'catch up'. I just moved h-here."
Maybe I should just let her get me. Get her off of this guy's case. At least I'm used to her psycho treatment. I deserve it. He could never deserve something as terrible as Rosalie Hale's wrath. All I want to do is help him...I can't stop thinking about it.
And yet I can't get myself to move closer than I was.
"You're fucking stupid. You should have just done a paper on Deforestation, or something." She sneered and he shrugged, his eyes on his feet.
"I don't know...I liked doing this one." His hand rose slightly, gesturing towards his now ruined project. I pursed my lips – sort of. I
"So, are you trying out for Football?"
"I don't really enjoy it..."
"Basketball?"
"No." He whispered. And suddenly, I knew where this was going. He was different and she wanted to have no part of him. At least, not any good part. She wants to bring out the worst in him and herself by hurting the guy.
"You do look like a baseball player."
"Listen, I'm not really into sports. Um...biology...that's always been my thing. It's no big deal." He mumbled, hunching his back a bit. He was probably remembering how she ruined his project. What a stupid bitch!
"Not into sports? You fucking weirdo!" She laughed, and kicked him in the shin. His eyes squeezed shut. Damn, he must be strong, not falling over. I mean, I would be long past on the ground by this point. I guess that's the difference between normal people and me. I'm a weak freak. At least he can sort-of stand his ground.
"I'm sorry!" The guy apologized to Rosalie. Something I've tried a billion times. I wish he'd just realize that he should be running. Run and never look back. I wish he wouldn't come back down this dumb hallway. Leave me to my own misery – even if he's not helping me on purpose.
"You are a fucking nerd. What a freak, right Alice?" She asked and her minion nodded. I watched as Rose ripped the guys glasses from his face, set them on his foot, and then stomped her red-high-heel into them. Those were completely destroyed. "Get a fucking life!"
"I...I..." He hissed and she punched him, then and there. I hissed as her fist made contact with his face. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Rosalie!" I called out, and ducked down. Her head flipped around, looking in my direction. I crawled through the jam-packed hallway, and stood on the other side. Here eyes scanned until they locked with mine.
"Stupid whore! If you think you're getting out of this withou-..." she was cut off by the warning bell. I watched, fighting a grin, as she cursed and ran in the opposite direction. She had a class to get to and she couldn't look bad for the teachers.
"Fuck..." I looked up as the guy swore. He was at his knees, rubbing his jaw as he tried to pick up his demolished project.
Something about him seemed familiar. It took me a few seconds, long enough for the halls to clear out, for me to remember. He was the guy that tried to help me a few weeks ago. He was the one – I would know his voice anywhere. So velvet, honest, comforting...something I haven't heard in a while. Especially in Forks.
"Here," I whispered, kneeling to help him compile his things.
"You..." His head shot up, and he cringed, palming his fresh bruise.
"Yeah...sorry about that..." I spoke softly, lightly putting my hand over his on his chin. "You're going to need ice. Believe me – it'll hurt worse later if you don't." I gestured to my yellowing black-eye.
"She did that to you?" His green eyes widened, worry filling his features.
"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal." I quoted him and he shook his head.
"It is a big deal. She shouldn't lay her hands on anybody! Is that why you wouldn't respond a few weeks ago?"
"No. I just...I was afraid. I was scared that you were one of her friends and that you hadn't recognized me."
"I don't get it. What's wrong with you? Sure, I'm a geek. But you look normal as anybody else."
"Haven't you noticed? I'm retarded. I go by Bella though. I try to at least." I pushed up half of my mouth, making a crooked smile. He didn't really even look at my smile. His eyes were locked with mine. A grin formed on his face.
"You're beautiful."
"Don't be stupid." I shot back, getting back to why I was here. "Listen, I think that if you came over tonight...I could help you get this back together. If you want to, I mean. Um. You probably don't want to go to class. Especially without a project. The teacher's a dick. We could even skip together..."
"Sure. I mean, if you don't mind." He grinned at me, his face perfect. His jaw was cut sharply, with his nose and sharp eyes. They were soft too though. And then his mouth was a bit crooked, due to a single dimple on his right cheek. It all came together forming him. A beautiful, perfect angel. Yeah, I'm melodramatic. He chuckled, and I looked away from his lips and back to his eyes. "I'm Edward by the way."
"It's nice to meet you Edward." I nodded, standing with half of his project in my hands. "Do you mind driving us to my house? My mom drove me today. My truck's broken."
"Not a problem. Here." He took my backpack, tossing it over his shoulder. I grinned, looking down at my feet as we walked. I may or may not have just been making sure that I didn't trip.
I didn't make a comment as we got into his car. His nice car. It's a silver Volvo, for God's sake. What high school boy drives a Volvo? Yeah, to say that I'm a bit jealous would be understating the world... I just looked out the window and gave directions as asked. I didn't want to be rude or anything. Or look desperate – because that would bother me.
When we pulled up in front of my house, I helped him unload the car. There wasn't much, just our backpacks, and stuff. After we got inside, I got him a pack of ice for his foot. I always had a couple on hand. I sort-of need them all the time.
After getting everything situated, making sure his foot was elevated, I got my supplies out. I asked him about his project, a model on mitosis, and we built another one. It took an obnoxiously long time but it was worth it. I liked hanging out with someone – with him. Even if we were just doing school-work. It was fun. We talked a lot!
"You know, you're pretty decent, Isabella."
"Thanks." I smiled sheepishly, but quickly cut it off. I was still embarrassed if I thought about it. My lips and all – they're hopeless. "Um. The kids at school haven't really ever agreed – but it's nice of you."
"They're stupid. You're very beautiful – you're great." He shook his head quickly. "I mean, I know how you feel though. They really can beat a guy down. I've always been picked on too. It's almost worse at my old school though. Rosalie is mean, but the kids at my school really got at me with words. Those are the kinds of bruises that don't fade away."
"You're not retarded like I am, Edward. Believe me – I know how it feels."
"Oh, for God's sake, you aren't retarded, Bella. So what? You have a slight disability in one half of your lips. Life could be worse! You don't look any less gorgeous! They're still perfect lips!" He ranted and I tried to smiled at him.
"You mean that?"
"Yes, Bella! You don't seem to understand! You're perfect! You don't need them. I don't need them. All I need is you. We can be friends – they won't bully us if we're together."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
And suddenly, I was inspired. I may not have my song-book anymore. That's not going to keep me from writing music. Music like Edward just inspired! I giggled spastically as I ran up my stairs and grabbed my guitar. When I came back down, Edward was still on the couch and his face was flabbergasted. I haven't really told anyone that I play music. I'm not even sure if my parents know – and they live with me.
I began to mess around with the chords. It didn't take long for it to sound as I wanted it too. For it to be perfect. Edward watched in amazement as I wrote a song without paper. This is something that I've never had trouble with, comparing it to all of my problems and issues. Nobody likes me, but everyone loves music. It's all I'll need to be accomplished in life.
All I sang was the chorus:
"Are you happy now
that he's on the ground?
And do you realize the words you say
make bruises that don't fade away?
Are you happy now
that you've brought him down?
And he's thinking that he won't fit in
'cause you said something's wrong with him.
Are you happy now?"
"Bella! That was perfect!" Ed laughed, pulling me into his chest and putting my guitar aside.
"You really think so?"
"I know so. You're an angel." He laughed, kissing me. I didn't think – I merely kissed him back.
The kissing got heated, quickly. I ended up just straddling his lap and taking over. He chuckled into my lips as I kissed him lopsidedly. Something I've never had the chance to do. I don't care though – he's smiling, and that's all I need. I ran my hands up his chest, under his shirt, and he rubbed my back with his own hands. He was perfect.
"See, your lips are perfection." He chuckled as I moved to kiss down his neck. I needed more oxygen to keep that up.
"Mmm..." I whispered.
And that's when I heard it.
My parents walking into the room. Looks like I'm not as aware when I'm getting into things as I should be. I bounced off of Edward, and looked at them wide-eyed. They were both shocked, staring at the two of us as if we had just sinned. Kissing isn't a sin, right?
"Isabella Marie Swan! How come you didn't tell me of your boyfriend?" Dad yelled at me and I cringed. Edward took my hand and kissed it, standing up.
"Well...technically...he's not?" I shrugged and dad's face turned purple.
"Get out of my house! Isabella, if I find you with another boy when I'm not home, you'll be grounded for the...the rest of eternity!"
"But...but dad!" I cried.
"No buts! Get out!" He yelled at Edward, who was running out the door.
"Charlie, you're being way to harsh. She's almost eighteen, for God's sakes!" Mom cut in, and he rolled his eyes at her and stomped out of the room. She looked at me, her eyes sad. "Bella,"
"No! I...I don't care." I sobbed, grabbing my guitar and Edward's project. And then I ran up to go hide in my room until I die.
Later that evening I heard my parents fighting downstairs. They really only ever fight over me. I try not to listen. I don't want to know what they think of me. Though, tonight, I am just hoping that my dad will change his mind. I need Edward – he's my only friend right now. That is, if dad didn't scare him off completely.
"Charlie, it was just a boy. Who cares if they were kissing!"
"She did not have to be on top of him to be, 'just kissing'." Dad argued.
"She's an adult, Charles. She can kiss however she wants. Besides, aren't you happy that she does have someone? Haven't you noticed everything that's been going on these last few years? The bruises, the limps, the black-eye she has right now? You should be happy that she's finally making friends!"
"What? Bella has friends Renee."
"No, she doesn't Charlie. Bella may have him, but in case you didn't notice, this idiotic town is so closed in – they all call her names. Like retarded, stupid, handicapped, or whatever else they can say. I'm tired of playing ignorance. I love her too much to watch this stupid place stomp on her!"
"I don't know what to say, Renee! She can't just go from not having anybody, to making out with some guy! It's not right!"
"You're the one who's not right here, Charlie! She is not grounded, and she can see that boy whenever she wants to!" She screamed at him and then I heard her come up the stairs. I feigned sleep as she came into my room.
"Nice try, missy..." she sniffled and sighed. "I'm sorry I haven't jumped in yet, baby."
"Mom...it's not a big deal. It's not your problems."
"Your dad nearly ruined your one chance out of here. Treat Edward right. I'm going to make muffins in the morning. You can take those to him. The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Okay?"
"You don't mind? I mean, I only just 'met' him today. We'd seen each other around but...he was being picked on by Rosalie. It's one thing when she does it to me – I'm used to it. I practically deserve it. But he doesn't."
"You don't deserve it, Belle. You're perfect just the way you are." She kissed my cheek. "Get some rest. I'll make sure that things work out. You deserve a good friend, especially a good boyfriend."
"Thanks mom, I love you."
"I love you too." She smiled and walked out, closing the door behind her. I was now in the darkness, trying to get some sleep before tomorrow.
Joy.
I've heard that it was done to you.
Is that why you do what you do?
Well it's no excuse, no...
"Listen, Rosalie Hale, you don't ever say no to me again!" I heard the voice of James Nomad from down the hall. Quietly, I peeked around to find him slamming Rosalie up against the lockers.
I should have said something. I should have ran over there and told him to knock it off. He could seriously hurt her like that. But, at the same time, my mind was telling me to run away. To get out as fast as possible. Something about the face he was making told me that I wouldn't do any good anyway. Me of all people.
So, I ran. The bell rang just then and I prayed that he would just let her go to class.
When I got there, Edward gave me a funny look. He was probably trying to figure out why I was so out of breath. I just shook my head at him. I know that he wouldn't tell anyone...I still feel like it's none of his business. It's none of mine, even. Of course I'm not going to go shooting my mouth off to other people about Rosalie's relationship. I may try and talk to her, though.
And if it felt like hell to you
then why'd you wanna put them through
what hurt you?
Are you happy now
that you've brought them down?
I, I don't think so.
"Stop!" I cried loudly as Rosalie kicked me in the shins.
"Shut up, retard!" She shot back immediately and I let out a broken sob.
I thought that we were done with this. I guess I never considered what would happen if Edward missed school without me. I should have known that Rosalie would go right for me. Even when somebody's bullying her, she makes sure to get it in on me. Why she does that, I will probably never know. Her logic is screwed up.
I felt her fist collide with my ribs. I heard the crack as she bounced back, laughing at me. I let out some rough coughs. She'd literally knocked the air out of me. I remembered watching James do that to her in the hallway and wondered if she understood just what she was doing. Because it hurt like a mother-fucker. I hunched over my abdomen, crying, praying that she'd give me the chance to get a few words in.
"Rose..." I cried.
"Did I give you permission to call me by my nickname?"
"Why do you do this?" I screamed, setting her back a bit. "Is it because of James? He does it to you, so you make a cycle and do it to me?"
"Wh-what? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! You're a delusional retard!" She hissed, glancing around as head's turned our way. She didn't want me to ruin their reputation as cutest couple. Head cheerleader and starring quarterback. I can't believe she'd put her life, and everything else, at risk for a measly title. What a nut!
"I saw him! He was hitting you! That's where you got the bruises on your neck, and your ribs!" I growled, sliding up the lockers as she backed away. "I could help you, Rosalie. I know how it feels – it's hell. Let's end it once and for all."
"What? This isn't some Disney movie! Go home on the short bus at noon; wouldn't want to miss the next episode of Full House!" She yelled, shoving me out of the way and stomping off.
I just scared Rosalie Hale away?
I just scared Rosalie Hale away.
Are you happy now
that they're on the ground?
And do you realize the words you say
make bruises that don't fade away?
Are you happy now
that you've brought them down?
And they're thinking that they won't fit in
'cause you said something's wrong with them.
Are you happy now?
"I need help," Rosalie sobbed.
I'd just gotten up from my movie night in my living room with Edward when somebody came pounding on my door. It was raining, so I was curious as to who was out-and-about. My parents were playing board-games in the kitchen, so I knew that it wasn't them. It couldn't be anybody from school – or so I'd assumed.
"Are you okay?" I gasped as I pulled her in and out of the downpour. She was sopping wet.
"No!" She yelled at me before her face puckered up. She spoke softer the second time, "No...James said that he was going to kill me! Kill me! I don't want to die! Help me!"
"What? Edward! Dad! Hurry!"
Dad came running in, his bat in hand, and Edward had a big pillow.
"You thought that I was about to be murdered, and you brought a pillow to save me?" I asked Edward for a moment, shocked.
"Sorry...it was the best I had." He laughed softly, but then his eyes trailed over to Rosalie.
"Rose...tell my dad what you told me." I whispered and she nodded. He could give her all the help that she needed. James is an adult, and Rose is seventeen. Dad is the chief of police. I don't think Rosalie could have came to a safer house for the night.
Rosalie took my dad into the kitchen to explain her story. I quickly went with my mom to get her clothes and a towel. She gratefully accepted them, going and changing into them quickly. I was surprised that she didn't protest. You know, after all of the times that she said I looked like a fucking homeless person in my clothing.
Maybe we're past that stage in our 'relationship'?
That night my dad had the police force get James. All of the evidence he needed was on her body. I was almost jealous of her. I thought of all of the bruises on my body. The proof that Rosalie was just as criminal as James was. Here's to hopes that this situation scared the bully right out of her. Or at least since she's not being pounded on, she may cut it out on me.
"Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?"
I sang the words at our school talent show at the end of the year. This was very cliché, I'm aware, but it all worked out in the end. I was okay with it. I've never sang in front of anybody, but Edward, and tonight I came out to everybody. And they clapped too.
My parents, Edward, Edward's parents, and Rosalie were the first ones to stand and applaud me. I was a bit shocked that Rosalie was even here. Or, here and not preforming I should say. She's usually the ring-leader at these sorts of things. Being President of Student Council and all of that shit. But, here she was, clapping her hands, her eyes in awe of something I did.
Edward too.
Edward and I are still together – and happy. I love him with all my heart. I guess I have to thank Rosalie for introducing us...indirectly. In the end, it helped me. They both make me stronger, even if one of those are in a negative way.
Rose and I never actually became friends. We're merely on good terms now. She'll smile, or send a glance my way in the hallways ever now and then. And I'll say hi to her if we run into each other at the grocery store. No longer do I fear her showing up at school, or anywhere. We simply tolerate each other and each other's differences...and I'm okay with that.
She even bought me a new song-book...even though she's still dense enough to think that it's a slam-book.
Whatever.
Are You Happy Now – by Megan & Liz (look them up on Youtube!)
A/N: Very cliché story, but I like it. I guess. I'm very anti-bullying, so please. Go to some website about not bullying and learn to treat people right – or review. Do whichever you want :)
- ERH