My dearest princess:
You are the Angel of Light, illuminating my heart in these dark times. How I pine for your sweet touch, your gentle caress, and your comforting embrace. The days are long, my love, but soon, we will share another tender kiss under the tree that has bound our fates together. Soon, we will be together once more. I'm always thinking of you...
The letter got cut short. Ed, the jittery hyena who penned it, was suddenly interrupted. He had long left the Savannah behind and took a low-paying job as a security guard at the federal penitentiary just outside Destiny City. While working the nightshift at the penitentiary entrance, Ed caught sight of some shifty shadows dancing along the camera feed from outside. He spit the pen from his mouth, and with a crazed laugh, went outside to take a look-see. He was promptly struck over the head with a cinderblock by two ugly women dressed in shabby dresses.
"Like, yuck!" exclaimed Anastasia. She stuck her tongue out in disgusted. "I got hyena goo on my shoe!"
Drizella licked her lips. "If he wasn't so dead, I'd hit that."
"Double yuck!" Anastasia smacked her sister. "Get your head out of the gutter! Momma's waiting for us, and if we're late, you know she's gonna be mad."
At some point, the twisted sisters made their way inside the penitentiary, clocking out guards with the cinderblock as they came across them. Eventually, they found their mother's cell.
"It's about time you arrived!" Lady Tremain scoffed. The orange jumpsuit really clashed with her puffy grey do.
"We would've gotten here sooner, but somebody stopped to buy a new pair of shoes!" Drizella said, eyeing her sister.
"I told you: they had hyena goo on them!" said Anastasia.
"Never you mind that! Hurry and free me from this forsaken place," the Lady ordered her daughters. "There is much to do and not enough time with which to do it!"
Anastasia gave her sister the signal and Drizella proceeded to pluck the cell key from her bosom. After unlocking the door, Lady Tremaine was free, and the three horrid women escaped to their getaway car.
Sora suddenly shuddered.
"What's wrong?" Kairi asked.
"I feel like something bad's gonna happen," he replied.
"Doesn't it always?"
"Yeah, you're right."
Three months later, a tiny mailman drove his mail truck all the way up the barren, winding hill to Maleficent's castle. A little bit nervous, he hesitated a minute before opening the door to his truck with a shaking hand. He let out an audible gulp as he rang the doorbell and fidgeted with the sole letter he held within his grasp. No one ever made deliveries to Maleficent's castle. She never got mail. So what changed?
It took a long time before the doors opened, and the mailman was just about to leave when the dark witch herself appeared.
"What is it, mortal?" she sneered.
"U-uh...d-delivery..." stuttered the mailman. He slowly extended the letter, and when Maleficent took it, he hightailed it back to the truck and floored it.
Maleficent squinted at the print on the plain, white envelope. There were half a dozen stamps on it from places like France, the Caribbean, and some other places she'd never heard of. But the letter wasn't addressed to her, so instead of opening it, she took it inside and dropped it off on the tea tray that sat next to her throne.
"This is for you," she said as the letter fluttered down to rest sideways against her cracked and worn teapot.
Maleficent was just about to sit down and rest when there was yet another knock at the door. With an irritable grunt, she reluctantly answered. "What is it now?" she snapped.
Roo, disguised as a girl scout, offered Maleficent a box of cookies in exchange for a Pooh stick. The swap was made—because Maleficent couldn't resist those peanut butter snickerdoodles—and Roo returned the Pooh stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The end.