Description: Matt and Edd putting wedding rings on Tom and Tord while they are asleep.
Dearly Beloved
Buying the rings was easy to get.
Waiting for Tom to be blackout drunk was also easy.
Sneaking into Tord's room as they carried Tom while Tord slept was a little more difficult, but nothing compared to putting Tom into the same bed as Tord. Though when Tord wrapped himself around Tom the moment the smaller was in the bed was worth the effort. Tom was squished up against Tord that it looked uncomfortable.
Edd pulled out a pair of gold bands, knowing that this would be the hardest part. He offered them to Matt, allowing him the honor of being punched in the face if he fails to slip the rings on them without waking them.
When Matt grabbed Tom's hand, Edd decided to start. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today," Edd whispered, causing Matt to nearly drop the rings in silent laughter. "To witness the union of this asshole to this even greater asshole."
"Do you, Tom, accept Tord as your awfully wedded husband?" Matt asked, continuing the ceremony with a grace that only he can supply. "I do," he said, giving his best Tom voice before he slipped the ring onto Tom's left hand. The gold band slid up his finger easily.
"Matt, it's lawfully wedded husband, not awful," Edd corrected, trying his hardest not to laugh aloud.
Matt shot Edd a playful grin. "No, I think I got it right," he said, causing Edd to snort. Both of them stilled, watching the bed to see if they woke the two up. Tord only squeezed Tom tighter to him, making Tom's face scrunch up in discomfort. Giving each other relieved looks, Matt grabbed Tord's hand gently and tried to pry it away from Tom enough to place the ring on him. It took more effort than it should have, but he got the ring in place.
Quickly and as silently as they could, the slipped out of the room, but Edd couldn't let the opportunity pass. "I pronounce you awful husbands, you may kiss your jerk."
The screams they heard the next morning made running for their lives worth it.