Welcome to my new short stories and also my centennial! Yep this makes 100 stories can you believe it? I feel like I should celebrate or something.
Legal stuff: I own nothing but the idea. This starts out dark and contains rape and other possible trigger warnings please read with caution. I do not condone rape this story is purely for entertainment purposes.
All the important things to know before you read(some of this is repeated in Clare's monologue but some people don't read the big paragraphs)
*Zoe doesn't exist
*Adam didn't die
*Fitz still works at The Dot
*Drew and Bianca broke up amicably at Thanksgiving
*Drew and Clare began growing closer with her chemo brain stuff ~ Adam saw and didn't mind
*Since Zoe doesn't exist Drew never dated her went out with lots of random girls instead and Luke hasn't been arrested
*Owen goes to U of T ~ Bianca is still friends with Drew and comes home every couple of months
*Eli cheated on Clare but she took him back afraid of her feelings for Drew ~ she finally gives into them at the hoe down like the show
*This starts with Sparks will Fly at the hoedown
Ch.1 Feel the Burn but I Don't Feel the Pain
(CLARE)
"I won't be a rebound Clare," Drew says taking his hand from mine and I feel my heart twisting, wrenching and breaking.
"Rebound! Who said anything about a rebound? I just told Eli that Drew was everything to me and he thinks he's a rebound! Since when? After what we just shared and what I just told Eli Drew is just going to walk away?!" My subconscious screams as I watch Drew walk into the crowd and away from me.
I start running without thought I just run, out of the building and away from DeGrassi, the faster my feet hit the ground the more the tears flow from my eyes. It's late December and snow falls around me, I didn't grab my jacket or purse from my locker and it must be minus four degrees outside but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything right now except for my heart breaking. I feel like my world has crumbled and been swallowed by darkness. At the moment I have no idea how much my world will crumble and how truly dark it will get.
I run for blocks getting farther and farther away from the school and from Drew, I stop running only when I get stopped by someone, or rather run into them. The guy, I know it's a guy even through the thick jacket he's wearing, takes my arms pulling me away from him a little and I realize that I'm surrounded by more guys. They're all teenagers around my age and of all skin colors. The one holding my arms is black and he looks vaguely familiar.
"What's the matter Saloon Girl? Hot girls dressed for Halloween don't usually go running down the street with no jacket in late December," the boy comments.
"Nothing I'm fine," I reply trying to get away because I have an uneasy feeling being surrounded by so many unfamiliar guys.
"No one cries that much when they're fine, come on Saloon Girl it's freezing out here and you have no coat. Come with us we'll take you somewhere warm," the guy says. His voice is calm and there's a comforting tone to it but there's something underneath that comfort, something I don't really trust. The guy takes off his jacket putting it on my shoulders, his friends move a little closer to me and I don't think I have much of a choice. I could try to run but the boy keeps his arm around me and I doubt running is an option. "I'm Vince and these are my boys, so what's your name Saloon Girl?" Vince asks as we start walking and some of "his boys" move in front of us so I'm surrounded. His name is familiar too, I know I don't know him and he doesn't go to DeGrassi but there is something so familiar about his face and his name, if I could think clearly I'm sure I could place him but I can barely think at all just now.
"Clare," I reply in a shaky voice wiping away some tears. "I should really get home," I assert in a stronger voice.
"Don't worry Clare we'll take you home but you can't go home upset," Vince tells me as one of the guys in the front opens a metal door leading to a dark room.
Someone turns on a light and I see a room, it looks sort of like a storage room with carpet. There's spray paint on the walls, a sofa in the middle of the room, a fridge across from the sofa and an old pool table behind it. There are also beer cans and beer bottles strewn about, drug paraphernalia and clothes are also thrown about.
"You know I feel much better now I should really go," I assert trying to turn and leave as the growing pit in my stomach gets big enough to fall into.
"I told you we'll take you home later, get her a beer," he commands the others and one of them starts walking toward the fridge.
"No alcohol please," I squeak while Vince takes my hand, pulls me to the sofa and into his lap. At least the other boy listens and brings me a bottle of water instead of a beer.
"So what's with the saloon dress?" He asks trailing a finger over the neckline.
"I was at the hoedown at DeGrassi," I explain before sipping at my water. I'm far too frightened and too much has gone on this evening for me to think of a lie.
"And the hoedown was really terrible and hokey so you left in tears?" Vince asks.
"Not exactly," I shake my head.
"Then what had you running through the streets in tears Saloon Girl?" Vince questions fingering the feather in my hair.
"I had my heart broke," I reply. I really don't want to be telling them the truth but I really can't think of a lie and my frightened nervous energy is making it impossible to be silent. "I never should have fallen for Drew Torres," I say mostly under my breath.
Vince's posture changes, he sits a little straighter, his arm that was loosely around my waist tightens and from the corner of my eye I see him make an evil grin. I try to get up but he holds me down tight putting his other arm around me and his head comes down to my ear, I can feel his breath and I shiver. A terrified tear creeps from the corner of my eye as my breath seizes in my throat.
"He is an asshole, you know I really think you need something stronger than water," Vince comments as one of his boys hands him a beer. I shake my head but he holds it to my lips, one of them holds my nose until I open my mouth and he tips the beer up forcing it down my throat until I begin to choke. He takes the beer away and I spit out most of what's in my mouth, it gets on my dress and one of the guys. I take a couple of deep breaths and wipe my mouth while Vince kisses my neck. "Let's have some fun," he whispers in my ear.
I know I'm about to be raped and I try to run but this is futile as I'm outnumbered seven to one. I struggle as they get me to the ground, I hear my dress ripping, I feel them all grabbing at me and I'm forced to the ground. I can hear myself screaming, I try to fight and scratch but they hold my arms and force my legs apart.
"She needs something stronger to drink, open wide," one of them says forcing me to drink from a liquor bottle. The alcohol is very strong and stings my throat, I start to cough take a gasp of air and they force me to drink again. The world is blurry and I lose the will to fight, I'll never fight my way out of this so my brain goes into survival mode and I go limp, when I do so they release my arms. Instead of fighting the alcohol consumption I drink as much as I can, hoping that at the very least it numbs me but mostly I hope I pass out. "Yeah that's better, alcohol makes everything better," the guy laughs taking the empty bottle.
I realize my panties are gone and Vince is taking his pants down, everything around me is fuzzy and the guys sound funny. They're making lewd comments and cheering Vince on and I know they're talking about me but it's almost funny. When Vince penetrates me the pain of it brings back my fight instinct. I scream out and try to push him away scratching his chest.
"She needs something stronger, hold her down, Jim inject her," Vince orders as he starts to pull out and my arms are held again, held to the ground by their knees. I'm crying again, the world isn't fuzzy anymore just painful and then I feel my arm being held out and real still, a tourniquet goes around it and they find a vein. I think they're going to take my blood and I start laughing for some inexplicable reason. However instead of something being taken I feel something entering my veins, coursing through my body and then a moment of euphoria. "Yeah that's better no more fighting. You know I like you Saloon Girl I think I just found my new Bianca," Vince grins. He's thrusting hard but I don't feel the pain just the motion, it's such an odd feeling knowing I'm being raped and brutalized but whatever they gave me has me floating and almost serene.
"I know Bianca, she was engaged to Drew," I comment and my voice sounds so weird.
Vince just laughs and keeps going while I become amused by the sounds and sights around me, obviously altered by whatever drug they gave me. It doesn't last long, it must mix with the alcohol or maybe they gave me too much. Either way my serenity starts to shatter, I begin to panic, I think I begin to fight and then I'm swallowed by a darkness so black I don't think I'll ever see light again.
(ZIG)
It started with a favor.
Vince and his gang stopped me from getting beat up by a couple of guys one night. That one favor indentured me to Vince and he asked me to hold some drugs for him, and that led to me being in his control. Now I was pretty sure I could never get out unless I died, even if Vince died or went to jail someone else would take over. He spent a year in jail after shooting Adam at prom, it should have been more but most of his convictions were overturned on some technicality, I don't know all the details but I've heard them talking about it. Vince was released this summer and took his gang back, so while Maya and Tris were in Paris this summer I was hoping I could survive this gang long enough to graduate high school. The one good thing about it was that I'd made a pretty good friend in Tiny. Miles and his dad had a friend that was trying to help us get away from the gang and I was now living at Maya's. But Vince found me, threatened Maya and her family and just like that I was back in.
Which is why I'm spending my Saturday morning walking through the snow to his safe house on Logan. After the hoedown last night I wanted to spend my Saturday at home with Maya but Vince called and I came. I open the heavy metal door and it makes an ear splitting CREAK as I step through. Most of the guys are on the sofa drinking beer, a few sit on the floor and this is all normal. What isn't a sight I was expecting, stops my heart and churns my stomach is the sight of a girl lying on the floor. She wears black boots, black dress and a black feather in her short light brown hair. I know her, I saw her just last night, only for a minute but I know it's Clare! My heart starts racing and I run over to her.
"Clare," I gasp while turning her over. Her dress is ripped she has bruises on her arms and a needle mark on her arm. "Crap what did they do?" I whisper under my breath but they hear me.
"She was fun," Vince grins and Clare groans.
I open her eyelids, her eyes are rolled back but I know she's breathing, her breath smells of alcohol. She's hung over, coming down from a high or both. I feel like I can't breathe, I knew Vince and other members of the gang were bad and I'd hear them talk about bad things they'd done. Vince talked a lot about Bianca and what he'd do to her if he ever had the chance, and Drew he often talked about getting revenge on Drew for his part in things. But Clare had nothing to do with all that, she was innocent in this and had nothing to do with Vince and his gang, how did she even end up here?
"Clare, wake up, Clare look at me," I command her shaking her lightly.
She groans again and I sit her up, her eyes open slowly and she squints at me, "Eli I don't feel good."
She thinks I'm Eli, she's not in her right mind, I see her struggle to keep her eyes open and she grips onto me. I get my arm around her and help her to stand, when Vince starts coming over she tenses up and her breath catches in her throat.
"What do you think you're doing?" Vince asks.
"I'm taking her home, you can't just keep her here," I respond.
"I think I might throw up," Clare says holding her hand to her mouth.
"Fine get her out of here but give me my money first," Vince orders.
I get out my wallet and give him the cash from the last batch of drugs I sold, mostly at school, then get Clare out of there as fast as I can. When we're outside I realize she has no jacket on, she can also barely stand let alone walk. We make it about half a block and I set her on a bus stop bench. I take off my leather jacket giving it to Clare, I still have a hoodie on but it's freezing outside and I shiver. Clare wraps my jacket around her and lays down on the bench while I get out my phone.
"Hey Zig," Tiny answers.
"I need your help, I'm at Logan and Gerrard and I'm with Clare. She can't walk, she's barely conscious I need to get her home," I tell him.
"Clare who?"
"Clare the student body vice president."
"Oh that Clare. My dad's asleep I'll borrow his car and be there in five," he says and hangs up.
I put my phone away and my mind races, I'm sure they raped her, who knows what they gave her and what else they did to her. I wonder if I should call Adam, or the cops even but I don't do either. If I call the cops I could just as easily be arrested, besides Clare is in no state to tell the cops what happened. Knowing what little I do about Clare I'm sure she wouldn't want me to call Adam, and what little I know about her comes from Adam talking about her during Whisper Hug rehearsal.
Tiny pulls up in his dad's car and he helps me get Clare into the back seat. Thankfully I actually know where she lives, only because Adam dropped something off to her once after a Whisper Hug practice and he was dropping me at home. We get to Clare's house but her door is locked and I don't see a spare key anywhere. I try asking if she has a spare key and she responds by vomiting in the plants under the kitchen window. Tiny walks around the house and finds a way to break in because he opens the door from the inside and helps me get her in.
"Her room must be upstairs all I can think to do is let her sleep it off," I comment. Her room is the first one at the top of the stairs and we get her on the bed.
"We'll have to check on her often, we should make some coffee and force her to drink some water," Tiny says.
"Check her kitchen I'll make her comfortable and get her out of that ripped dress," I tell him.
Tiny nods and leaves the room, I take the barrette and feather out of her hair, get her boots and socks off and then I start taking off her dress. She starts to cry, shrinking away from me and I stop.
"Not again please," she cries and my stomach sinks, my heart breaking and a lump the size of Mount Everest. "What did they do to you Clare? What did they do to you?"
"Clare you're safe, it's me Zi…" I almost say my name but she thought I was Eli before and she barely knows me. "You're safe it's Eli, I just want to get you comfortable to sleep," I tell her. Her eyes flutter and she squints at me before nodding. I unzip her dress and get it off but leave her strapless bra on, mostly because I'm afraid to touch it and scare her. Clare's panties are missing but I'm not surprised. I find a loose t-shirt in her dresser and get that on her then cover her with a quilt at the foot of her bed just as Tiny comes back.
"Here she should drink this and I put up some coffee, she's coming down and hung over or possibly a little high again. She was wearing that last night so she's been there what 14 hours, 16 maybe? They could have done so much to her in that time," Tiny remarks handing me a glass of water.
"Clare have some water," I tell her sitting her up holding the glass to her lips. She takes the glass and drinks the whole thing. Clare groans and falls back on the bed, for a second my heart stops thinking she just passed or died.
"Tired, don't feel well," she gripes curling onto her side.
"Sleep we'll be downstairs," I tell her.
"What about her parents?" Tiny questions when we get downstairs.
"I don't know, I'm pretty sure I remember hearing they had gone to visit her stepbrother but if they come back we'll have to think of something to tell them," I reply.
We sit on the sofa and turn on the TV, after an hour we take Clare more water and make sure that she drinks. She's not so out of it but she's really tired and can hardly open her eyes. Aside from that we sit on the sofa and watch TV trying not to think about what Vince and the others might have done to her.
There was a part of me that used to think Vince's threats against Maya were idle threats to keep me controlled. I knew Drew had been beaten by them before and that Adam got shot at prom, but Drew meddled and the gun had been aimed at Drew not Adam. A part of me used to believe even Vince wouldn't go after the innocent like Maya, and all their talk was just talk. After seeing what they did to Clare I know they aren't just idle threats and just the thought of Maya being hurt by Vince is something I can't bear.
Realizing I need to tell Maya's mom why I'm not home yet I text her phone and say that I'm with Tiny playing video games. After sleeping a couple of hours, and one of us making sure she's still breathing every 15 or 20 minutes, we hear footsteps on the stairs. I turn off the TV and stand up with Tiny just as Clare becomes visible. She's wearing a robe, her hair is messed up and she looks exhausted even after all that sleep.
"So I wasn't dreaming then," she comments in a voice graveled by sleep and fear. Her hope that it was all a dream pops like a fragile bubble and so does Clare. She starts shaking and crying, we go to her to hold her but she backs away with her arm out to keep us at bay. So we stand there and watch her helplessly, she takes a minute and a few deep breaths before speaking again. "How did we get to my house?"
"I found you at one of Vince's hide outs and called Tiny he borrowed his dad's car," I explain and she nods.
"You should go to the cops now that you're conscious and talking," Tiny says.
"And tell them what? I barely remember what happened," Clare responds in a venomous tone but I'm sure she didn't mean it for us. "I ran out upset and then they were there and surrounding me and I couldn't get away. I tried to fight but they forced me to drink alcohol and when I started fighting again they injected me with something that took the pain away. And then Vince mentioned something about Bianca," she rants semi-hysterically before looking at us. "Shit that's him isn't it? He shot Adam he should be in jail why isn't he in jail?"
She's shaking again and crying so much we can barely understand her, she leans against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and sinks down. I sit down on the floor and so does Tiny, Clare puts her head down and we just watch her, wanting to hold her but afraid of scaring her.
"Clare you need to go to the hospital and get looked at. You need to be tested for STIs at least," Tiny tells her in a calm voice and she looks up at us nodding.
"I'll go get dressed," she says quietly and starts to stand but she's shaking and seems to be in pain.
She goes upstairs slowly; Tiny and I watch her until she goes into her room. We almost go back to sit on the sofa but the doorbell rings. We look through the glass in the door to see Vince smiling at us; Jim, Terry, Matt and Brian are behind him. I consider not opening the door but I'm still not sure how Tiny got in and I am sure that Vince will find a way in if he wants to.
"What are you doing here?" I question.
"Checking on Saloon Girl Clare," Vince grins.
"Don't you think you've done enough just leave her alone," I spit back and Vince punches me hard in the stomach in response. I can't brace for it and I fold going down to my knees.
"Leave him alone," Clare shrieks running down the steps still in her robe. She runs to me, trying to bend down to me but Vince grabs her around the waist and holds her to him.
"Came to make sure you weren't going to do anything stupid like go talking to the cops," Vince tells her with his lips real close to her neck and Clare shivers. I stand up putting my hand on Tiny's shoulder for support.
"She needs to go to the hospital," Tiny speaks up.
"And file a rape report I don't think so," Vince shakes his head.
"I won't file one, I won't go to the cops but I need to be checked for STIs. I won't tell them I was raped I'll just go to the clinic and get an STI screening. I won't tell them anything about you," Clare pleads.
"You heard her Vince let us take her," I insist.
"Fine, Terry go with them and be sure she doesn't talk, if she says anything we'll take it out on Zig now and Torres later," Vince comments with a creepy stare and I swallow hard.
"I won't say anything, I need to get dressed please let me go," she requests and Vince releases her.
Clare stayed fairly calm and stoic but I can see in her eyes that it's all just for show; inside she's probably screaming and crumbling. As soon as Vince releases her she runs back to her room. The rest of us stand at the bottom of the stairs and wait for her, a tension building the longer we wait and at any moment it's going to explode. When we hear Clare's door open we look up the stairs, she doesn't come down she goes into the washroom and after a few more minutes she comes down. She has sweats on, tennis shoes and a thick winter coat with a wool hat and gloves.
"I'm thirsty I'm going out to the garage for a bottle of water," Clare tells us.
"Then we're going with you," Vince comments I guess thinking she'll run.
Clare leads the way to the garage, she goes to a fridge and most everyone stays back but I go to the fridge with her. She kneels down and opens a button on her jacket taking a plastic bag from inside her coat. I see some Q-tips in smaller plastic bags, same with a couple of cotton balls and something I can't make out in another. She puts the bag in the fridge and holds her finger to her lips telling me to be silent. Then grabs two water bottles handing me one and stands up.
"I can go alone," she says to Vince.
"I don't think so, I have to know that you won't talk, whose car is outside?" Vince questions.
"My dad's," Tiny replies.
"Tiny you drive, Saloon Girl where are your parents?" Vince inquires.
"They'll be home soon," she responds in a shaky voice.
"Now see that right there is a lie, don't lie to me I know one when I hear it now where are your parents?" Vince questions again.
"Gone, in B.C. visiting my stepbrother," Clare admits with her head down a little and biting her lip nervously when she's done.
"Good then we'll wait here for you, don't take too long," Vince tells her.
We all go back into the house, Vince and the others make themselves at home while the four of us go out to the car. Terry sits in back with Clare so I sit up with Tiny and he starts driving to the women's clinic.
(CLARE)
"I want an STI screening," I tell the lady at the reception desk of the clinic with Terry standing just behind me.
"Fill these out and sit down," she responds handing me a clipboard without looking at me.
I take it and it and sit by Zig, Terry sits on the other side of me. I'm pretending he isn't there but I keep getting flashes of him from last night. I close my eyes and look at Zig, he gives me a kind smile and I take a deep breath. I have to get through this and get home. I may not report the rape tonight or tomorrow, next week or next month or ever considering how everything turned out with Asher. I'm not stupid though, I clipped my nails and took vaginal swabs of my own, even combed my pubic hair for trace evidence, it's all in the bag in the fridge in the garage. When I get home and Vince leaves I'll hide it in the freezer so it's preserved.
I can't think about last night or the fear and the disgust will paralyze me so I think about Drew, I become angry and I'm able to fill out the forms. I take them to the registration desk and sit down again. I get called back after half an hour, Terry comes with me and tells them he's my boyfriend and I don't argue. They take some blood and a urine sample and then I'm done. The nurse saw the bruises on my arms but didn't ask, all they say is they'll call with the results. We return to my house in silence and I see that Vince and his gang have made themselves thoroughly at home when we go in.
"She didn't say anything, just had some blood drawn and peed in a cup. She did have to say that she had sexual intercourse in the last 24 hours on the form but didn't say it was rape or nothin'," Terry reports to Vince when we get back inside.
"I told you I wouldn't talk, I did what you wanted now please leave," I assert in as strong a voice as I can manage at the moment.
"I don't think so Saloon Girl, I like it here and I'm not totally convinced you want talk yet. Zig and Tiny can go but me and the rest of the boys are staying," Vince responds with a smirk, not a playful one like Eli but evil and vile.
"She won't talk, she did what you wanted just go and let her be," Zig speaks up in my defense. Vince's eyes narrow onto him, into tiny spiteful slits, he gets up and takes a few quick strides over to Zig before landing an explosive punch on Zig's face and he stumbles back. Vince catches him holding him by the shirt and pulling a switch blade from his pocket. I see the shiny silver blade and gasp as Vince holds it to Zig's neck.
"You talk too much Novak, do it again and I silence you for good. What we do with Saloon Girl is none of your business now get out," Vince commands in a slow tone and menacing voice.
"Go," I say to Zig and he looks at me, "you and Tiny go I'll be okay."
He looks unsure but I nod, I'd rather be left to the wolves than watch Vince kill Zig or even mutilate him. Vince puts the knife away, Tiny grabs Zig's arm and they walk to the front door looking back at me once before they leave.
"I knew I liked you Saloon Girl," Vince tells me putting his arm around me and bringing me to the sofa with him.
"I won't say anything I already told you, I won't go to the cops or report anything. I barely even remember last night," I comment trying to keep my voice strong but it wavers. I just want them to go, I want to break down, to scream and cry but not with them here, I won't let them see.
"I don't know if I believe you yet Saloon Girl but I like you, that's why you're still alive. Do you know what I learned in prison? I learned to not leave witnesses alive and if you do be sure they won't talk. You know I can take care of Drew for you, I know he broke your heart and I know he helped get me arrested. Won't beat him again, maybe stab him, you know if you're careful you can stab someone more than a dozen times and they'll die slowly from bleeding out," Vince remarks stroking my cheek and I have to swallow back the bile rising in my throat.
"No leave Drew alone, I won't say anything don't hurt Drew don't hurt anyone," I reply and my voice trembles as tears flood my eyes. Then my doorbell rings, the loud sound is startling and I jump.
"CLARE IT'S OWEN UP," he calls banging on the door.
"Owen? What on earth is he doing here? How did he even know where I live?"
"Who's that?" Vince questions growling just slightly but also tensing a little with fear.
"Owen, he's a good friend he went to school with me until graduating last year," I reply. Actually I don't know Owen at all, we aren't even acquaintances let alone friends but I'm hoping it will make them leave. "We were going to hang out today," I lie hoping it will be enough reason for Vince to go.
"CLARE?" Owen calls ringing the bell again.
"COMING," I yell back.
"B used to hang out with him, just remember not a word, if the cops come sniffing around I'll start getting rid of witnesses one by one. Let's go," Vince commands and he lets go of me. They quickly leave through the back and I go to the front door letting Owen in.
"What are you doing here?" I inquire closing the door.
"Got an urgent call from Zig asking me to check on you," Owen explains.
"I'm fine," I try to assure him but now that Vince and the others are gone I start to break down. Tears pour from my eyes and I'm shaking, I look away but he knows I'm not okay.
"You're obviously not, Zig said your parents are visiting Jake come on," Owen insists holding his hand out to me.
"Where are we going?"
"My place I'm not leaving you here alone, pack a bag you're staying over," he informs me in an authoritative tone.
I don't know Owen at all but I do know that he won't rape me or anything. So I go out to the garage, hide my bag of evidence in the freezer and then go upstairs. I quickly pack a bag with a change of clothes, pajamas and a toothbrush, make sure my house is thoroughly locked up and leave with Owen. I expect Owen to ask what happened but he doesn't say anything on the drive. Then again knowing what little I do of Owen I'm sure he's been in situations he didn't want to talk about, or couldn't talk about, before. I know he's going to U of T this year, I've heard Drew and Dallas talking about it, but I'm surprised he doesn't live on campus or at home but has an off campus apartment. I following him up to his third floor apartment and he unlocks the door.
"Hey roomie we have company for the night," Owen calls closing and locking the door when we're inside. His roommate comes out of one of the bedrooms and he's just as surprised to see me as I am to see him.
"Hey Clare," Fitz says giving me a kind smile, "what are you doing here?"
I open my mouth to make up an answer but instead break into tears, dropping my bag to the floor. I sink to my knees as I begin to shake no longer able to hold it together or be stoic, my seams of sanity burst and I fall apart.
Update Thursday February 26th picking up from right here possibly in Fitz or Owen pov. Also including more Zig and possibly Christmas.