A/N: Little drabble I posted on Tumblr following The Fifth Man. Don't worry, I'm working on Revenge and a new chapter will be up soon.
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own any of these characters. But they're just too good not to play with.
Out of nowhere, the young girl had just dropped the bombshell of all questions on Kensi.
"Are you in love with your partner?" Astrid asked. Just that. No build up, no nothing. Hadn't even looked up from rearranging her chips. And this after only the smallest opportunity to observe the two junior Agents interact. So what could she say? What is she supposed to say?
No? Yeah, sure, she could say 'No,' right off the bat, without even pausing. But… but that doesn't really do any justice to the thing that's growing between them, getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. Deeks, worming his annoying, floppy-haired, smug-grinned, way passed her defenses and into her life. He's in there deep, now, like an oak tree; his roots spreading out thickly over every aspect of her. And Kensi's not sure if she can trust herself to deny it; she's trained to deceive people for a living, but for some reason whenever she tries to lie about anything related to Deeks, she may as well wear a sign saying "Fibber" around her neck, in bright neon colours. And she really wants Astrid to trust her, doesn't want to ruin the fragile bond forming between the pair by a lie this early.
Yes? She could say 'yes,' sure. But… but is that right? She likes Deeks, true, has even started to admit to herself in those quiet moments that she more than just likes him, she likes-likes him. But she's been hurt before when she's allowed her emotions to rule her life. She's been closed off for so long now too; she's said she's ready for a relationship so many times, with other guys, but they've never really gotten off the ground. Some part of her even realises that she might have been sabotaging those relationships out of fear of being hurt once more. So she leaves them, or they leave her. And she's just left, alone. But with Deeks? She can't do that to him; he's her best friend, her confidant, and the only person she trusts. She can't afford to lose him too. She - God forbid, but when did this happen to her? - needs him. But is it love? Love is such a… a strong word. She hasn't even thought to put a name to what's building between them.
So no, she can't say 'yes' to that question either. Can't lie to Astrid, this early in their friendship. Because the truth of the matter is, she just doesn't know is she's in love with Deeks.
In the end, she does the one thing Kensi always does when a question is too difficult, too complicated. She changes the subject, and hopes it'll go away.
But she does know one thing; now that the question is out there, there's not ever any taking it back.
And she has a lot of things to think about.