The following is a transcription of an extremely funny (but strangely auto-tuned) scene that I, the author, witnessed. Enjoy!
Three: All rise for the guitar of awesomeness…*starts playing guitar* As our ancestors have rocked before us… Now thou shall rock!
Ash I: You shall build a Squirtle fence!
Ash I: You-shall-build a Squirtle fence!
Xavier: We don't have many Squirtles.
Ash I: Well in Kanto we've got quite a few.
Ash I: A Squirtle fence is exactly what you would think it is,
Ash I: A Squirtle fence keeps Squirtles from being hit by cars!
*clap clap*
Ash I, Ash II, and Three: Those Squirtles that were climbing Squirtles couldn't climb over the Squirtle fence!
Amanda: Why?
Ash I, Ash II, and Three: It was Squirtle-proof!
Amanda: How?
Ash I, Ash II, and Three: It was three feet high!
Three: Yeah!
Ash I: The same thing is going to happen to health care,
Xavier: What?
Ash I: And one of these days a champion from Kanto's gonna come back home and
Everybody: Build a Squirtle fence! Build a Squirtle fence!
Xavier: We need a Garvantula fence…
Ash I: You shall build a Squirtle fence! And I don't know if those can go over a fence or not…
Alder: Or if a beleaquered Wailord can swim underneath a yacht!
Everybody: Build a Squirtle fence! Build a Squirtle fence!
Ash II: The more I drink the more this conversation's making sense!
Alder: If Squirtles are becoming doctors we need a defense…
Amanda: How shall we protect ourselves?
Ash I: You shall build a Squirtle fence!
Xavier: Scene change! I'd like to thank the people of Unova for electing me as your next champion master!
May: He's a different kind of trainer…
Ash II: Wait, was he even elected?
Xavier: But I know who I am, I'm Scott Brown!
Xavier: And I drive a truck!
*clap clap*
May: He's gotten the kind of treatment normally reserved for rock stars…
Ash II: I still don't think he was elected but I'll play along because this is weird!
May: He's Scott Brown!
Ash II: He drives a truck!
May: He's Scott Brown!
Ash II: Team Plasma are *BLEEP*
May: But it's clear that the people of Unova just want jobs, jobs, jobs!
Ash II: And don't forget about jobs!
Xavier: I'm focused on jobs, jobs, jobs!
Ash II: For all the unemployed slobs!
May: They put healthcare on the back burner, the back burner for now!
Xavier and Amanda: Uh…
Aurea: Welders, nurses, engineers, come on do-we-o-we-on! For jobs, jobs, jobs!
Ash I and Three: You-shall-build a Squirtle fence!
Xavier: I'll fight for jobs, jobs, jobs!
Ash II: When we build that fence we shall pay our rents!
Alder: I gotta buy my kids a piece of bread!
Black figure with gold eyes and white hair: Before they wake up de-ead!
Everybody: We need JOBS!
Aurea: But what it seems Unova is truly worried about is-
Author: Okay, okay, STOP! This is getting too weird! Anyway, for all you readers who want to see the insanely funny original version of this song, just go to
http:/www. youtube. com/ watch?v=qizNQKzatXA
and don't forget to rid yourself of the spaces!