Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight…. sobs or Harry Potter like characters…
Emmet: -enters Edward's room- EEEDDDDDWWWAAAAARRRRRDDDDDD!!
Edward: must you drag out my name?!
Emmet: must you be so boring?!
Edward: pshhhh… I am not boring….
Bella: -laughs hysterically- yes you ARE!!
-Edward and Emmet are looking at Bella-
Edward: what the fudge monkey?
-Jasper runs into room-
Jasper: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! The evil Jasperoni strikes again
Edward: jasperoni?? What the hell??
Emmet: ohhhhhhhh!! I want a super-dee-dooper cool name too!!
Alice: -all excited- okay, how about… emmetillion!!
Emmet: Yesssss!!
Bella: -recovered from hysterics- when did you get here?
Alice: get where?
Bella: here?
Alice: it depends. Where is here?
Bella: Here, here
Alice: which here in here though?
Bella: I don't know!! –puts on a deep-in-thought look
Edward: that doesn't even make any sense at all! And neither does emmetillion or jasperoni!!
Jasper: don't hate me cause I'm beautiful!!
-Jasper runs out crying-
Bella picks up a CD that was under Edward's bed.
Bella: Edward, why do you have a Britney spears CD?!
Edward turns red and runs at bella with vampiric speed and pushes her out the window.
Edward: ahhhh!! What have I done?!
Four men from Port Angeles (I hope you know which ones) come out of woods
Men: don't worry man. We'll take good care of precious bella… -smiles evilly-
Edward: -looks out window- thank you!! –He says gratefully-
Bella: Edward!! Help me!! They're getting all up in my grill!!
Men: don't worry Eddie; we're taking care of her
Edward: okay!!
Man: yeah. Don't worry hottie of my whole entire world.
-Sam Uley magically appears in human form-
Sam: sobs I thought I was your hottie of the world?!
man: not anymore. take a look at the hunk
sam: -looks at Edward- FINE! I will go to Jacob to comfort me!!
bella: NOOOOOOO!! that's MY comfort partner!!
-sam and bella wrestle on the ground yelling he's mine!! when Jacob apparates into the fight-
Jacob: hey hey, no need to fight! there's enough Jacob to go around!!
man: even for me?!
Jacob: -pats man on shoulder- even for you…
man, bella, Jacob, and sam all skip of into the sunset together humming the barney song I love you-
Edward: BELLA!! –cries dry sobs-
crazed fan girls arrive
Rosalie smacks him in the cheek
Rosalie: get a hold of yourself man!! you were turning gay anyways!!
Edward: Oh yeah…
crazed fan girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
crazed fangirls disappear
Jacob apparates in front of Edward
Emmet: how are you apparating?? you don't have a magic wand!!
Jacob: Henryy Pottah showed me how!!
emmet: do you mean Harry Potter?!
Jacob: pffffttttt… yea right. I'm not that gay… Henryy Pottah!!
-a boy apparates next to Jacob-
boy: ello, mate!! my name is henryy pottah!! BLOODY HECK!! what is that?!
Edward: it's a her!! and her name is Tania!!
-edward hides a doll that looks suspiciously like Tanya from Denali-
henryy pottah: NOT THAT mate!! That!! –he points to a tube of blood on Edwards desk-
Edward: ohhh… well you know my gal friend Tany- I mean Bella?! – Edward looks around crazily to see if anyone heard his mistake-
henryy pottah: ohhhhh the cheek who fols oll the tyme, mate?!
Edward: oui, oui. yes, yes. well, I decided that I could try a little bit of her blood. so while she was sleeping I stuck a needle in her arm and drained 75 of her bodies blood!! cool, huh?!
alice: ohhhh… is that why she fainted, like, 80 times today?!
Edward: Yeah!
henryy pottah: ohhhhh cool!! good buy now matey friends!! I have a date with frinny geasley!! I finally dumped stupid old Tow Tang!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!
HEYYYYYYY!! Sorry this chapter was so short!! In my defense, it took up four pages on word!! I forgot to mention that I also don't own the Barney song, I love you. So… R&R and tell me what you think I should put in my next chapter cause I'm out of ideas… seriously. Flames accepted… but they hurt, deep inside… sobs