What If Life Was a Dream?

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.

A/N: This is just a little thing I thought about when watching ER one day. What really happens after death? No one knows. So here is my view.

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"What's going on? Why is everything so different?"
"I don't know what you are talking about... everything is exactly the same..." there was sorrow in her voice, though, I could feel it.
"Lizzy... What happened? I... All I remember was being stabbed... And... Carter. Where's Carter, Lizzy?"
"You're very tired and you still have to recover. You know you almost died..."
"Why aren't you answering my question?" I asked calmly, trying to hold back the tears, the sorrow. I was afraid of the answer.
"Lucy... Carter..."
"He's dead, isn't he?" the tears began to flow like tiny rivers down my cheeks. Lizzy paused before answering.
"Yes," she finally sighed. But no. I couldn't believe it. How could he be dead? It was impossible. Everything was so real... It couldn't have been a dream. It was my fault. He came to check on me. I remembered it so well now. So well, it was as if I was awake when it happened. I heard him cry out in pain. It was like Sobriki had stabbed me again instead of stabbing Carter. I could still hear him. Then, I saw him, bleeding, like me. Maybe it was because I was laying there, bleeding, in pain too, but I could have sworn I felt his pain...
"Why?"
"I don't know..."
"You've changed, Lizzy..." I studied her. She wasn't the strong, British woman I remembered.
"What? No, I haven't. But maybe you have,"
"Lizzy?" Peter appeared at the door. Everyone was so dismal; it scared me. But Peter was slightly happier than Lizzy. He was smiling. Elizabeth went to him. When he told her the news, a smile appeared on her face.
"Lucy, I have great news," she told me, "Carter survived! He's alive!"
"What?" I breathed, happily. But still, there was a sadness in her eyes, in both of their eyes, that I had never seen before.
"You can see him if you like. He's been asking for you," Peter said.
"But... I have to recover!"
"You're in pain?" Peter asked, concerned. I looked at him confused. I'd just been stabbed, nearly to death, and he was asking me to get up and walk around the hospital as if nothing happened. And he expected me to have no pain. But then, I realized, he was right. I felt no pain.
Lizzy smiled one of her sad smiles, "You will feel no pain when you are here," she said. I stood up. I had no wounds from the knife. I thought I must be dreaming, but it was too real to be a dream. Peter led me to Carter's room.
"Hey Lucy," Carter said, slightly tired, but still smiling. He was the only person I had seen so far without sorrow in his eyes. His eyes were gleaming, he was happy.
"I dreamt that I woke up, and you had died."
"I did wake up and you were dead. But then, you weren't. What did you do?"
"I don't know. In my dream, Peter told me... Actually, I guessed that you had died. And then I felt this extreme sorrow. And then, I woke up and asked if you'd survived. Did you know you are the only person I've seen so far that doesn't look like their dog died?"
I laughed, "Yeah, you too," I said. I was happy to see him. But somehow, I knew that he and I weren't in the same world we had been in before the attack. Carter, out of everything else, out of all the doctors, the rooms, the patients... Carter was the only thing that I recognized. He was the only thing that was familiar to me. Something was different. There was an air of sorrow around the place and it irked me. It was all a dream. Life was a dream. But I was with Carter and that was all that mattered. And from then on, there was total, unthinkable, bliss.

Each one of us has a part of us that is alive, and a part of us that is dead. When a person has all their life sucked out of them, then all of them is dead, obviously. Like me. No one knows of their counterparts. No one is completely alive unless they have the perfect life. But, again, it is obvious that people can be completely dead. But people can be completely dead, and still live in the world of the living. Maybe they may not be physically dead, but maybe emotionally and/or mentally. People of the living think Carter is more alive then dead. They're wrong. Carter did die, on the eve of February 14, 2000. And he won't share his pain. He's more dead then alive. If this goes on too long, he will come live here with me forever.