Karma always wondered whether her captain was truly alive. Were those smiles genuine, or forced gestures? Did those laughs come from the soul, or were they hollow sounds she made as a reminder – a reminder of how to function as a normal human being? She'd always been so stoic, so cold after the incident that Karma felt uneasy at the thought of questioning the warrior. The last thing she needed was another grievance, especially after being thrust with a responsibility as demanding as being the Captain of the Guard. She would open up to her when she felt like it, she thought. And Karma knew she'd love enough for the both of them even if she couldn't feel those emotions anymore. Irelia deserved at least that much.
But when her captain is lying in her arms, blood spluttering out along with rasp gasps, Karma has come to regret her decision. Call her selfish, call her naïve, but it had never occurred to her she would fall, that she'd leave her so desperately alone again. She always thought the guard would outlive her, be the one to pass on her legacy. It wasn't supposed to end like this; she wasn't supposed to die a second time after sacrificing all that she had for her land. It was too cruel, too inhumane, too unfair –
"K-Karma"
She looks down, fighting away tears that threatened to fall at any moment, to a pale and trembling Irelia. She looks so weak, so pitiful…
"Karma"
Karma uses the last of her willpower to respond with a somewhat stable voice, "My captain…"
A hand struggles to lift itself and Karma gingerly takes it into her own. It was deathly cold.
"I-
Blood sprays all around as Irelia gets into a coughing fit; choking on blood is rapidly proving talking to be impossible. Karma flusters and tries to help, but quickly stops when she feels a feeble grasp against her palm. Her body stills, accepting the futility of it all while her head screams for her to do something. Anything.
"I love you"
And Karma shatters. Tears fall as ugly sobs break free from its carefully bound chains of control. A small smile is hardly noticed as Karma tries to wipe her tears away. She struggles to reply, but the only sounds that come out are choked cries. A weak rub against her palm is ignored as her own hold tightens.
No no no no.
This isn't how it's supposed to end. Karma's already planned everything out. They're supposed to see a rebuilt Ionia together, to finally live in peace hand in hand, to..to..
The grip on her hand starts to loosen, then fall limp as the sound of labored breathing ends. And Karma must face the truth. She was already given a second chance, and she let Irelia fall from her grasp yet again.
So she pulls the lifeless body closer to her, ignoring the blood that seeps into her clothes and whispers the words she should have said long ago.
"I love you too."
Karma always wondered whether Irelia was truly alive. How she wishes she knew sooner.