Interview With The Elf
By,
Navatariel
I was walking home from work; or loafing about as my parents call it (and perhaps you would too), you see I interview people for a living. That is I try (hence the loafing). One day, though, I'll write my own book, a work of fiction (not that my interviews were true) and I'll be famous for it. But just for now, I approach people I find interesting, appalling, or other wise worthy of attention, listen to them tell their stories, and then attempt to get those stories published. As you can imagine, this is a very precarious life style; dependant on the whims and generosity of various editors, proofreaders, and clerks. Having just been turned down by a major publishing house, for what I thought was a fascinating interview with a self-proclaimed "vampire"; as I said I was walking home treating myself to a box of those really fattening, but totally delicious cookies (you know, the one with the picture of the elves and the tree on it?) when I sensed someone was watching me. I felt a tingle go down my back. I quickly turned around, only to see a man with blonde long hair neatly flowing down slightly past his shoulders with deep blue eyes, leaning against a wall, reading a book (I have to say he was awfully handsome!).
I admit it; I didn't suspect him at first. So I continued on my way, and sure enough I felt that tingle go down my back again. I glanced over my shoulder and that man was smiling and waved. I gave him a funny look and hurried into a near by bookstore where one of my friends worked.
"Adrienne? Hey! How are you? Where's Rocky?" she said chuckling from behind the cash register.
"Oh shut up. I would have actually laughed if that hadn't been the six- thousandth time you said it!" I answered smiling. I didn't listen to her comeback; I was going into the fantasy section. I might as well buy myself a book so.so.I'll get.more.inspiration! Yeah, more inspiration! I scanned the shelves for something interesting, when I came upon a small box that had three books in it. I pulled it out, curious as I usually am. I read the title on the front of the box, The Lord Of The Rings. Lord of the rings? What kind of a stupid idea is that? I pulled out one of the books that had a number one on it. The title read, The Fellowship Of The Ring.
"Ooh.I remember these books." I said to myself with annoyance.
"Oh, those are wonderful books! You should read them. They've gotten the best reviews," said a voice behind me.
"I know, I heard about it from my brother. He is nuts about them. But I couldn't get past The Hobbit," I answered when I turned around. The voice belonged to a woman, who appeared to be in her early twenties, with long black curly hair, and gorgeous blue eyes. She was very pretty. Her skin was so clear it looked flawless (how rude! I've had pimples, freckles, and zits ever since I was nine!)
"You should read them. I swear you'll love it," She said,
"Oh, I'm sorry, you don't even know who I am! My name is Katerina My friends call me Kat. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Adrienne," I responded, then, before she could answer, I said, "I know, I know, like the Rocky movies." Kat laughed a little, "Don't worry, I wasn't going to tease you. I get that a lot myself." Strangely, she reminded me of that blonde guy I saw before.
"Hey, Kats! We need you! Get back here!" Came a voice from behind the counter.
"Oh, pardon me, I must be about my business. It was nice chatting with you. See you later!"
"Bye," I said as she went around the corner. I looked back at the books. 'Well, what could it hurt?' I thought as the cashier rang it up and handed me my bag. When I walked out the door I looked around. The Blonde handsome guy was nowhere in sight. I was some how relieved and disappointed at the same time. I took the fudge cookies out of my bag and began eating them again.
*
There is always a part of my walk home that I hate. In order to get to my flat, I have to walk down this dark, creepy ally. I always pay attention to every little creak and crack because I have this nightmare that one night some creep is going to try and mug me or beat me up. That's why at first I didn't understand how he came up behind me without my noticing.
I was fiddling nervously with my golden ring-a family heirloom- when I felt yet again someone watching me. I swirled around and saw that blonde guy again, smiling.
Who are you. The Lord Of The Dance?" I had said defensively, looking at his long hair and strange clothing disapprovingly. To my amazement he performed a few clever steps reminiscent of the Irish dance, swiftly turned around in a circle, and struck a pose, with his arms outstretched, his right foot cocked, as if he were on stage for the Queen herself. He was charming me, definitely charming me. Hmm.any man who would do a jig in a dark ally for a woman eating fudge cookies had to be worth interviewing! Watch out "major" publishing house, if he talks as incredibly as he looks, you're going to see me again. I hope you have your checkbook out and at the ready!
"Close. My name is-," he chuckled softly as if he knew a joke that I didn't, "Legolas Greenleaf." There was a small silence. If I had known what I know now, I would have probably thought he was mad.
"Lego Grenlef? Do you work at Lego Land?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes, a gesture of annoyance.
"L-EH-G-OH-LA-S GREEN-LEAF, my child," He said slowly and clearly as if speaking to a five-year-old, "And no I do not play with legos. My pride in my given name died the day they produced that diabolical toy."
I laughed a little, "I know how you feel. The most miserable day in my life was when the Rocky movies came back out on DVD."
"Yes, in this modern world, people seldom understand the nobility of their given names. For instance, people would rather name their children Stephen and Stephanie which are only plural forms of manure in the old language.do you know what your name means?" He asked.
"Uh.no."
He nodded, and looked away as if he was lost in old memories,
"Indeed things have changed."
There was an awkward silence. Then a thought hit me and I asked,
"Hey, were you following me?"
Legolas' cheeks turned the slightest bit red, but I only know that because he told me later.
"Well, I noticed you had The Fellowship Of The Ring in your bag, as well as a real golden ring and it reminded me of-well it's a long story," He said.
"Why, do you want to steal it?"
"No thank you, I think I've had enough of gold rings (or any kind of rings for that matter) to last many a life time, child." He paused, then smiled mischievously and added,
"Besides I'm well acquainted with the events of that tale." In someway he reminded me of Kat.
"I'm sorry, did you say you had a story?" I said coming back from my thoughts, as the reporter in me suddenly jumped forward and took control (well almost, he was awfully handsome.)
"Yes. I read your add in the News Paper," he said pulling an add, which appeared to be cut from the news paper, out of his back pocket. "I was going to call the number tonight, but I recognized you from the photo in the paper, I hope I did not frighten you."
"Nah, I'm always jumpy at night, I'm not sure why." I answered, "Anyway, I'd be happy to interview you."
"When would be a good day?"
"Any day, I'm honestly not that busy."
"Alright then, will you meet me at Hyde Park, around.one o'clock?"
"Sounds great to me," I said. 'Heck, I'll take anything!' I thought.
"Good," Legolas said smiling, "See you then, oh, and do you record the stories?"
"Yes."
"Bring lots of tapes, little one," He said as he walked down the dark ally and around the corner.
"I hope he's not another 'vampire'," I whispered to myself as I watched him gracefully walk away.
*
"So you met a guy you want to interview huh?" asked my younger brother Sean the next day at lunch. Neither of us have well paying jobs so we shared a flat. He had a very boyish face, big hazel eyes (that got a special light in them whenever anyone mentioned Lord Of The Rings), and thick brown hair (which remained frazzled for quite sometime after he woke up).
"Yeah, and he's got the freakiest name."
"What is it? Lestat?" He said chuckling.
"I wish! Now that would be an interview! His name is 'L-EH-G-OH-LA-S GREEN- LEAF'." I said taking a bite of my sandwich. Sean spewed out his Yoo Hoo, taken by surprise. Then he said, in between coughs,
"Legolas Greenleaf? Your not serious!" I raised an eyebrow (like I often do).
"Yeah, that's what he called himself. Why do you know him?" I asked, not really interested.
"Know him? KNOW him?? Addy, were you in la-la-dream land all through our childhood? I've told you at least a million times! Legolas Greenleaf is from Lord Of The Rings! He was the prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil (the KING of Northern Mirkwood), and he represented the elves in the fellowship!!" Finally Sean finished, eyes wide and out of breath. Then I knew why his name sounded so familiar. In all of our youth he kept pounding weird names into my head like Arrogant (some king guy), Gamli, and Bonzo, or Bilbo? Was it Bilbo? Well, I don't know, like I said before I never paid attention.
"Well then," I said rather slowly, "I guess this guy is just a break out from one of those conventions. he probably collects the action figures and everything."
"There aren't any Lord Of The Rings action figures," Sean said, rolling his eyes and continuing to recreate the Wrath Of Khan with his Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk figures. I rubbed my forehead in exasperation as he went on and on about useless information (or so I thought). I do love my brother. Of course I do. And it was kind of cute how he would still get excited over hobbits, elves, wizards, and such. But right now it was rather annoying. I was not pleased to think he was just a fan because I had already interviewed twenty-three "Luke Skywalkers" and thirteen "Klingons".
'Even if he is a fraud (which is what I believed he was at the time),' I thought, 'He might have a clever story.'
"And then, after the war and everything, he goes with Gimli back to The Glittering Caves and-," Sean continued, disrupting my thoughts. I stood up, cleaned off the table, not really paying attention to what he was saying, just nodding as if I were. I glanced at my watch; 12:45.
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind Sean. Look, I got to go, I'm supposed to meet him at one in Hyde Park and-."
"Let me come with you! Please? You know what a kick I used to get out of those books ('Used to?' I thought)! And I'll be able to tell if he's a fake or not! Please? C'mon!" He begged, practically getting down on his knees.
"Sean, I'm sorry, no. This is my job, and I didn't tell him there would be any tag-alongs! And I appreciate you wanting to help, but I know he's not really an elf because they don't exist! Please start thinking logically again! Maybe next time, okay? Bye," I said and kissed him on the cheek ignoring all the excuses and "good" reasons. My brother sighed and looked very disappointed,
"Fine.it is your job. Will you do me just one favor in return?"
"What is it?" I said rather hesitantly.
"Just drop me off at Harrods's. I need to buy some new shoes. Remember when we watched the neighbor's dog? Well, he found his way into my room and ruined my church shoes." Sean said.
"Alright. But you better be ready, because I'm not going to wait," I said half serious half teasing.
*
I arrived at the park at 1:45. It was when I looked around that I realized Legolas never told me where in the park he wanted me to meet him.
'Perfect,' I thought gloomily, 'He probably left because I was so late.what am I going to do now?' I started walking around hoping that I'd see him. Suddenly, when I came close to a grove of trees, I heard a familiar gasp. Not a frightened gasp, not a feminine gasp, a gasp mixed with excitement and surprise. I walked closer to investigate (me and my curiosity).
While I was looking, I put my hand on one of the trees and noticed that it was very thick, smooth, and beautiful. They were very tall. As I looked around I discovered all the trees seemed the same...and yet different. I had never really taken the time to look closely at these trees. They weren't maples, oaks, or any kind of tree that I knew of. Then suddenly, a figure swung down from the tree right in front of me! I Screamed and tried to run away, but it grabbed my hands! It looked like that nightmare I had mentioned earlier was going to come true!
By,
Navatariel
I was walking home from work; or loafing about as my parents call it (and perhaps you would too), you see I interview people for a living. That is I try (hence the loafing). One day, though, I'll write my own book, a work of fiction (not that my interviews were true) and I'll be famous for it. But just for now, I approach people I find interesting, appalling, or other wise worthy of attention, listen to them tell their stories, and then attempt to get those stories published. As you can imagine, this is a very precarious life style; dependant on the whims and generosity of various editors, proofreaders, and clerks. Having just been turned down by a major publishing house, for what I thought was a fascinating interview with a self-proclaimed "vampire"; as I said I was walking home treating myself to a box of those really fattening, but totally delicious cookies (you know, the one with the picture of the elves and the tree on it?) when I sensed someone was watching me. I felt a tingle go down my back. I quickly turned around, only to see a man with blonde long hair neatly flowing down slightly past his shoulders with deep blue eyes, leaning against a wall, reading a book (I have to say he was awfully handsome!).
I admit it; I didn't suspect him at first. So I continued on my way, and sure enough I felt that tingle go down my back again. I glanced over my shoulder and that man was smiling and waved. I gave him a funny look and hurried into a near by bookstore where one of my friends worked.
"Adrienne? Hey! How are you? Where's Rocky?" she said chuckling from behind the cash register.
"Oh shut up. I would have actually laughed if that hadn't been the six- thousandth time you said it!" I answered smiling. I didn't listen to her comeback; I was going into the fantasy section. I might as well buy myself a book so.so.I'll get.more.inspiration! Yeah, more inspiration! I scanned the shelves for something interesting, when I came upon a small box that had three books in it. I pulled it out, curious as I usually am. I read the title on the front of the box, The Lord Of The Rings. Lord of the rings? What kind of a stupid idea is that? I pulled out one of the books that had a number one on it. The title read, The Fellowship Of The Ring.
"Ooh.I remember these books." I said to myself with annoyance.
"Oh, those are wonderful books! You should read them. They've gotten the best reviews," said a voice behind me.
"I know, I heard about it from my brother. He is nuts about them. But I couldn't get past The Hobbit," I answered when I turned around. The voice belonged to a woman, who appeared to be in her early twenties, with long black curly hair, and gorgeous blue eyes. She was very pretty. Her skin was so clear it looked flawless (how rude! I've had pimples, freckles, and zits ever since I was nine!)
"You should read them. I swear you'll love it," She said,
"Oh, I'm sorry, you don't even know who I am! My name is Katerina My friends call me Kat. Nice to meet you."
"I'm Adrienne," I responded, then, before she could answer, I said, "I know, I know, like the Rocky movies." Kat laughed a little, "Don't worry, I wasn't going to tease you. I get that a lot myself." Strangely, she reminded me of that blonde guy I saw before.
"Hey, Kats! We need you! Get back here!" Came a voice from behind the counter.
"Oh, pardon me, I must be about my business. It was nice chatting with you. See you later!"
"Bye," I said as she went around the corner. I looked back at the books. 'Well, what could it hurt?' I thought as the cashier rang it up and handed me my bag. When I walked out the door I looked around. The Blonde handsome guy was nowhere in sight. I was some how relieved and disappointed at the same time. I took the fudge cookies out of my bag and began eating them again.
*
There is always a part of my walk home that I hate. In order to get to my flat, I have to walk down this dark, creepy ally. I always pay attention to every little creak and crack because I have this nightmare that one night some creep is going to try and mug me or beat me up. That's why at first I didn't understand how he came up behind me without my noticing.
I was fiddling nervously with my golden ring-a family heirloom- when I felt yet again someone watching me. I swirled around and saw that blonde guy again, smiling.
Who are you. The Lord Of The Dance?" I had said defensively, looking at his long hair and strange clothing disapprovingly. To my amazement he performed a few clever steps reminiscent of the Irish dance, swiftly turned around in a circle, and struck a pose, with his arms outstretched, his right foot cocked, as if he were on stage for the Queen herself. He was charming me, definitely charming me. Hmm.any man who would do a jig in a dark ally for a woman eating fudge cookies had to be worth interviewing! Watch out "major" publishing house, if he talks as incredibly as he looks, you're going to see me again. I hope you have your checkbook out and at the ready!
"Close. My name is-," he chuckled softly as if he knew a joke that I didn't, "Legolas Greenleaf." There was a small silence. If I had known what I know now, I would have probably thought he was mad.
"Lego Grenlef? Do you work at Lego Land?" I asked raising an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes, a gesture of annoyance.
"L-EH-G-OH-LA-S GREEN-LEAF, my child," He said slowly and clearly as if speaking to a five-year-old, "And no I do not play with legos. My pride in my given name died the day they produced that diabolical toy."
I laughed a little, "I know how you feel. The most miserable day in my life was when the Rocky movies came back out on DVD."
"Yes, in this modern world, people seldom understand the nobility of their given names. For instance, people would rather name their children Stephen and Stephanie which are only plural forms of manure in the old language.do you know what your name means?" He asked.
"Uh.no."
He nodded, and looked away as if he was lost in old memories,
"Indeed things have changed."
There was an awkward silence. Then a thought hit me and I asked,
"Hey, were you following me?"
Legolas' cheeks turned the slightest bit red, but I only know that because he told me later.
"Well, I noticed you had The Fellowship Of The Ring in your bag, as well as a real golden ring and it reminded me of-well it's a long story," He said.
"Why, do you want to steal it?"
"No thank you, I think I've had enough of gold rings (or any kind of rings for that matter) to last many a life time, child." He paused, then smiled mischievously and added,
"Besides I'm well acquainted with the events of that tale." In someway he reminded me of Kat.
"I'm sorry, did you say you had a story?" I said coming back from my thoughts, as the reporter in me suddenly jumped forward and took control (well almost, he was awfully handsome.)
"Yes. I read your add in the News Paper," he said pulling an add, which appeared to be cut from the news paper, out of his back pocket. "I was going to call the number tonight, but I recognized you from the photo in the paper, I hope I did not frighten you."
"Nah, I'm always jumpy at night, I'm not sure why." I answered, "Anyway, I'd be happy to interview you."
"When would be a good day?"
"Any day, I'm honestly not that busy."
"Alright then, will you meet me at Hyde Park, around.one o'clock?"
"Sounds great to me," I said. 'Heck, I'll take anything!' I thought.
"Good," Legolas said smiling, "See you then, oh, and do you record the stories?"
"Yes."
"Bring lots of tapes, little one," He said as he walked down the dark ally and around the corner.
"I hope he's not another 'vampire'," I whispered to myself as I watched him gracefully walk away.
*
"So you met a guy you want to interview huh?" asked my younger brother Sean the next day at lunch. Neither of us have well paying jobs so we shared a flat. He had a very boyish face, big hazel eyes (that got a special light in them whenever anyone mentioned Lord Of The Rings), and thick brown hair (which remained frazzled for quite sometime after he woke up).
"Yeah, and he's got the freakiest name."
"What is it? Lestat?" He said chuckling.
"I wish! Now that would be an interview! His name is 'L-EH-G-OH-LA-S GREEN- LEAF'." I said taking a bite of my sandwich. Sean spewed out his Yoo Hoo, taken by surprise. Then he said, in between coughs,
"Legolas Greenleaf? Your not serious!" I raised an eyebrow (like I often do).
"Yeah, that's what he called himself. Why do you know him?" I asked, not really interested.
"Know him? KNOW him?? Addy, were you in la-la-dream land all through our childhood? I've told you at least a million times! Legolas Greenleaf is from Lord Of The Rings! He was the prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil (the KING of Northern Mirkwood), and he represented the elves in the fellowship!!" Finally Sean finished, eyes wide and out of breath. Then I knew why his name sounded so familiar. In all of our youth he kept pounding weird names into my head like Arrogant (some king guy), Gamli, and Bonzo, or Bilbo? Was it Bilbo? Well, I don't know, like I said before I never paid attention.
"Well then," I said rather slowly, "I guess this guy is just a break out from one of those conventions. he probably collects the action figures and everything."
"There aren't any Lord Of The Rings action figures," Sean said, rolling his eyes and continuing to recreate the Wrath Of Khan with his Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk figures. I rubbed my forehead in exasperation as he went on and on about useless information (or so I thought). I do love my brother. Of course I do. And it was kind of cute how he would still get excited over hobbits, elves, wizards, and such. But right now it was rather annoying. I was not pleased to think he was just a fan because I had already interviewed twenty-three "Luke Skywalkers" and thirteen "Klingons".
'Even if he is a fraud (which is what I believed he was at the time),' I thought, 'He might have a clever story.'
"And then, after the war and everything, he goes with Gimli back to The Glittering Caves and-," Sean continued, disrupting my thoughts. I stood up, cleaned off the table, not really paying attention to what he was saying, just nodding as if I were. I glanced at my watch; 12:45.
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind Sean. Look, I got to go, I'm supposed to meet him at one in Hyde Park and-."
"Let me come with you! Please? You know what a kick I used to get out of those books ('Used to?' I thought)! And I'll be able to tell if he's a fake or not! Please? C'mon!" He begged, practically getting down on his knees.
"Sean, I'm sorry, no. This is my job, and I didn't tell him there would be any tag-alongs! And I appreciate you wanting to help, but I know he's not really an elf because they don't exist! Please start thinking logically again! Maybe next time, okay? Bye," I said and kissed him on the cheek ignoring all the excuses and "good" reasons. My brother sighed and looked very disappointed,
"Fine.it is your job. Will you do me just one favor in return?"
"What is it?" I said rather hesitantly.
"Just drop me off at Harrods's. I need to buy some new shoes. Remember when we watched the neighbor's dog? Well, he found his way into my room and ruined my church shoes." Sean said.
"Alright. But you better be ready, because I'm not going to wait," I said half serious half teasing.
*
I arrived at the park at 1:45. It was when I looked around that I realized Legolas never told me where in the park he wanted me to meet him.
'Perfect,' I thought gloomily, 'He probably left because I was so late.what am I going to do now?' I started walking around hoping that I'd see him. Suddenly, when I came close to a grove of trees, I heard a familiar gasp. Not a frightened gasp, not a feminine gasp, a gasp mixed with excitement and surprise. I walked closer to investigate (me and my curiosity).
While I was looking, I put my hand on one of the trees and noticed that it was very thick, smooth, and beautiful. They were very tall. As I looked around I discovered all the trees seemed the same...and yet different. I had never really taken the time to look closely at these trees. They weren't maples, oaks, or any kind of tree that I knew of. Then suddenly, a figure swung down from the tree right in front of me! I Screamed and tried to run away, but it grabbed my hands! It looked like that nightmare I had mentioned earlier was going to come true!