So, this is my first Fic in English. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. The original idea and the characters are property of Ryan Murphy.
I
She taps her fingers against her notebook anxiously, not even trying to pay attention to what Mr. Schuester is saying. She loves the man, okay? He's the best teacher in the world and she owes him more than she will ever be able to return. But he's been talking about The Beach Boys for the past forty minutes and she just can't listen to him, especially when she's so concerned about her boyfriend.
"He should be here already" she whispers to Kurt for the hundredth time in the last hour. Kurt just shrugs and keeps taking notes in his notebook, without even looking at her. Rachel sighs, biting her lower lip in frustration. She's about to stand up to go find him when he enters in the choir room, followed by Rory. (Was he missing, too? Rachel didn't even notice. She feels kind of guilty. She likes the boy).
"Sorry about the delay, Mr. Schue. The hockey team was picking on Rory again…" he starts, and only then Rachel notices the red stains on Rory's green shirt, and the sadness in his eyes. She stands up and takes him by the shoulders, inviting him to sit. Finn smiles at her and sits as well, resting his arm behind the back of her chair.
"What was he talking about?" he asks, in a whisper, trying to look at her notebook.
"I honestly don't know. I was busy thinking about where you were and making horrible scenarios in my head!" she answers, and he smiles when he sees the little hearts with their initials that she drew all over the page. "I think it's something he calls "Oldies" but… that's all I captured" she adds, and she blushes a little when his hand finds the only patch of skin in her back that her dress is not covering. He kisses her on the cheek, smiling against it as he feels the warm skin against his lips. She leans against him, closing the notebook and resting one of her hands on his knee.
"You know? Burt and my mom are out again this weekend…"
"Don't even think about it! It's our turn this weekend, you two had the house two weekends in a row!" Kurt protests in a whisper, and Blaine shrinks in his chair, almost disappearing in embarrassment. Finn sighs.
"Thanks for raining on my parade" he says, and Rachel can see the disappointment on his face.
"We will figure something out" she promises, squeezing his leg and smiling at him. He nods, excited, and tries to focus on the lesson Mr. Schue is trying to give. She tries, too, but fails miserably. Finn's arm is touching her back again and his fingers play with the skin of her elbow… and for the first time she's glad that Glee Club is the only assignment they have together, because there's no way that she could concentrate on anything if he's around. She'd fail every single class.
II
"Hot chocolate?" she offers, while she pours some into her own cup.
"Yes, please" he answers, leaning a little bit closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "This isn't so bad, after all." he says, taking the cup from her hands.
"Although being outside on a chilly fall night is not my first choice, I've to say that it's nicer than I thought it would be. Especially when I can cuddle with you," she agrees, resting her head on his chest and holding the little cup in her hands to keep them warm. Finn smiles against her hair and kisses her temple. She's almost sitting in his lap, her knees resting comfortably against his tight under the duvet she brought in her picnic basket. Finn opens one of the windows of the truck just a few inches, trying to clean the air a bit so they can actually see the stars trough the steamy glass of the windows. They tried to go to this drive-in cinema that is a few miles away from his house, but it was full. So, instead, they parked in a nice, private spot of the park, just behind a few trees that will serve as a distraction and hide the car perfectly if things get a little… heavy inside. They talk for a while. They talk a lot, lately. Not that they didn't talk before, but since they've been… sexually active, they kind of connect more. Rachel finds that really surprising. She never thought that they could be more connected than what they were, but now it's totally different. They share a whole new level of intimacy, deeper, even more beautiful and, sometimes, even more terrifying. It's like they can't get enough of each other, and even when she finds it amazing and really enjoys it, she can't help but think how much it'll hurt if things fall apart at some point. She doesn't want to think about it. Not now, when she's in his arms and he's humming along with the radio while he gently caresses her stomach under the blanket, sending shivers down her spine. She turns in his arms, looking him in the eyes, smiling when she notices that he has them firmly closed.
"I love you" she whispers against his lips, feeling him smiling against her own lips.
"I love you more" he answers, between kisses, and she doesn't want to argue with him. She just kisses him, tasting the little trails of chocolate in his lips. She sits in his lap, and the duvet falls to his feet. He slips his hands under her sweater, and she shivers again when she feels his fingertips in her breasts, even when she still has her bra on. She shifts a bit in his lap and he moans when her ass grinds against his already palpable erection. She smiles to herself. She can't help it. They haven't really done it that much (twelve times in a month. Not that she's counting or anything. But he is, and she saw the little hearts he drew in that calendar she gave him a few months ago when the school year started and she found it really, really cute). Still, she kind of knows him. She knows what he wants, what he needs, what he likes… and she's so proud of that. Like… he enjoys watching her face when she… you know. He opens his eyes, his deep, brown, heart melting eyes, and he looks at her like she's the most beautiful thing in the world. And she just loves him so much. She can't even tell.
"You… are… gorgeous" he whispers, between kisses, as she unbuttons his shirt.
"You are really handsome yourself, too. Breathtaking, even" she answers, while he kisses her neck and keeps caressing her breasts with his hands (when did he take off her bra? He's getting really good at this. Not that she complains, though). He slips his tongue into her mouth, and she can almost taste his excitement. It's still a little weird not having to control herself anymore, to have no boundaries. She can do whatever she wants. Whatever she needs. Because he's hers and she's his and they are about to make love… and she still finds it surreal.
"Are you ready?" he asks, and she almost doesn't hear his voice over the sound of lips smacking against skin and hands roaming and the little fall wind that's beating against the windows. But she does hear it. It's almost like she feels his voice. She takes off her panties while he searches for a condom in the pocket of his jeans (that are now resting in the floor of the truck with the duvet and the empty cups). It's kind of difficult to move in the little space, but they manage quite well (Finn bumps his head a couple of times against the ceiling of the truck, but he doesn't seem to care). She kisses him right on the lips when he slides inside her. It doesn't hurt anymore and she really, really, really enjoys it. It's, by far, the best feeling she's ever felt. As cliché as it sounds, she truly feels like they are one. She doesn't know where her body ends and Finn's begins, and she loves everything about it. The rhythm of their hips, the moans that Finn tries (in vain) to repress, the way their bodies fit even in the dark, without even trying. She leans her forehead against his, kissing him on the lips, murmuring an "I love you" that he returns immediately, almost like he could read her mind (she thinks he really can read it, but she doesn't say anything). She lets him touch her; she guides one of his hands between them, showing him where she wants him. He obeys, smiling in the dark, his cold fingers touching her oh so lightly she thinks she'll die at any second. He dies first, though. He moans her name, burying his head in the crook of her neck, biting her a little… and she loses it too. She swears she can see stars, even when the windows are now completely misty from the heat of their bodies.
"I love you so much" he whispers, kissing her in the same spot he bit a few seconds ago, soothing it with his tongue. She shivers a bit. She's not cold or anything, she just feels… so much. He wraps his strong arms against her, sliding out of her, and she kisses him for the millionth time.
"I love you, too. So, so much" she answers, taking his face between her hands and looking at him under the pale moonlight. He smiles, and his eyes close at the contact, so she kisses his eyelids, his forehead, his nose and every single spot she can find. She shivers again when a cool breeze blows through the open window, so he moves in the seat, almost lying in it, and she throws the duvet over them and lies on top of him, resting her head on his firm chest. They don't talk for a while. She's used to it. It's like neither one of them can put in words what they feel, so they just feel it in silence instead. She thinks he's fallen asleep when her phone rings and he sighs against her hair.
"We have to go already?" he protests, and he tightens his grip around her, not wanting to let her go. She smiles. She doesn't want to go either, but she has to. They have no choice.
"I'm sorry, Finn. Believe me when I say that I really, really want to stay here with you" she whispers, searching for his eyes in the dark. He smiles at her, combing her hair with his fingers.
"I know baby. But it's just… it sucks sometimes, you know?" he says, with a little pout, and she kisses him because it's the cutest thing she's ever seen. They kiss a little bit more before they clean everything up, and for a moment Rachel wants to ask him to borrow her his under shirt, 'cause the one that she has in her house doesn't smell like him anymore. He slips it in the little picnic basket before she even asks, and she kisses him again because this boy really deserves to be kissed.
"How was your date?" her Daddy asks later, while she takes off her coat.
"Fine. We saw a zombie's movie that you'd have found really pleasant. I didn't enjoy it too much, but it's nice to change subjects once in a while, don't you think?" she lies. She's getting really good at it, but it doesn't surprise her. She's a fantastic actress, so she's just composing a new role. She kisses them on the cheek before she announces she's going to bed and she leaves the room.
"Of course she'd watch zombie movies with him. But no, she can't watch "The Walking Death" with us because she finds it "unnecessarily gross and grotesque. Of course." she hears her Dad complaining, and she has to suppress a laugh because they are really cute when they get jealous.
III
When she lies in her bed later that night, clad in Finn's under shirt, she can't help but feel a little… empty. This happens a lot, lately. It's like something is missing. She knows what it is, and it makes it even more painful. She misses him. Especially on nights like this, when they've made love recently and she can still feel it in her body. She moves in her bed, searching for some sort of comfort that she knows she won't find. She misses his arms and his chest and the sound of his heavy breathing, or the way their legs always end up tangled under the sheets. They haven't sleep together that much, either, just three times. And, yet, after the very first night Rachel knew she'd never be able to sleep alone again without missing him, without missing his angelic, childlike face sleeping by her side. She takes a deep breath, which makes everything even worse because she smells the scent that comes from his shirt and she really, truly, painfully misses him. She feels her phone vibrating and she smiles when she sees Finn's face on the little screen.
"I can't sleep" his voice says as soon as she picks up the phone.
"I know! I can't sleep either. I miss you too much to sleep" she whispers, and she swears she can feel him smiling.
"Wouldn't it be nice if we could like… hold each other every night?" he asks, and she closes her eyes really tightly while she hugs the little hippopotamus that he won for her in a fair back in the summer (yes, everything has a history in that room). The combination of the sound of his voice and the scent of his shirt is almost hypnotizing, and yet it's not enough.
"That would be really, really nice. A dream come true, almost" she answers, without thinking about it. It doesn't matter, though. She knows she can be spontaneous with him. She can be herself. "Have you given any thought to the Glee assignment?" she asks, and he chuckles in response.
"Of course you'd like to talk about Glee Club" he teases her, and she smiles too, because honestly, she doesn't even know why she brought the subject up. They talk a little bit more, and she feels his voice slowly fading away. She can imagine his sleepy face and his brown eyes slowly closing, losing the battle against his own sleep. She stays on the other side of the line even when he falls asleep, listening to his little snores. She falls asleep a few minutes after, hand firmly clutching at his shirt, a smile on her face.
IV
"I really, really love your moles. They are the cutest, sexiest little things I've ever seen" Finn whispers against her lips, while he strokes her cheek with his thumb. Rachel smiles at him, kissing him briefly. They are so, so close in his bed that sometimes, when one of them breaths, their lips brush against the other's.
"What else do you like?" she inquires in the same tone, looking at him right in the eyes. He rolls himself in his bed, hovering over her.
"I love your eyelashes…" he mutters, kissing her sweetly in her eyelids, "… I love your cheeks, especially when you're blushed like now…" he adds, kissing her in between his words. He's about to continue when they hear a soft knock on the door.
"Come in!" Rachel answers, pressing her hand against Finn's mouth to repress the sound of his annoyed groan.
"Hey guys! Your… your food is here." Blaine says awkwardly, entering Finn's room and giving the paper bags to Rachel. They have this new arrangement about sharing the house on Saturday nights. Finn and Rachel stay in Finn's bedroom and Kurt and Blaine use the basement and it's kind of nice because they usually have breakfast together in the morning. Also, Rachel doesn't feel as guilty when Kurt is actually around the house, especially when she lies to her parents and tells them she's having a sleepover with him.
"So… uhm… we won't bother you anymore. Have a good night" Blaine adds, winking at Rachel when he sees that she's only wearing Finn's shirt, and she thanks him by kissing him on the cheek. Finn doesn't even look at him.
"You know, Finn? This whole… rivalry between you and Blaine was kind of charming at the beginning, but now it's just a little bit annoying" she tells him, as she sits on the floor. He doesn't say anything; he just sits beside her and takes a bite of his pizza, so she takes that as permission to continue. "You could put that energy into something else…"
"Like thinking about my future?" he whispers, but she doesn't answer. They haven't talked about it again, mostly because he always tries to avoid the subject, and she respects that. She knows he'll talk to her about it when he's ready.
"Have you thought about what will happen to the Glee Club once we graduate?" she asks, and he looks at her for a moment, frowning.
"No… I haven't. Have you?"
"Of course I have!" she answers, and he chuckles.
"Of course you have!" he repeats, kissing her surprised lips.
"What I was trying to say…" she continues, and she has to try really hard to concentrate because Finn's only wearing his boxers and he's sitting really, really close to her. "… is that we should start thinking about our replacements as captains and train them a little before we leave".
"Or we could let the new kids that will come choose their own captains…"
"Finn! We can't jeopardize the last three years of hard work like that!"
"And you think that Blaine should take my spot?" he says, frowning even more, almost as if he was offended.
"I was thinking Artie, but… it's your choice. I'm training Tina, but she doesn't quite know it yet. She has a lot of leadership potential." She explains, cleaning her fingers with a napkin. Finn sighs.
"I don't really have leadership potential" he says, in a tiny little voice, and Rachel's heart melts. She takes the pizza away from his hands and sits in his lap, straddling him a little bit.
"Do you trust in me?" she whispers against his lips, and he just nods. "Then believe me when I say that you are a leader, an amazing leader. The best man I know." She says, playing with the little hairs that grow in the nape of his neck. "And that… is why… I love you." She finishes, kissing him between every word. He smiles, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes, and she knows it'll take a little bit more work to convince him. "Have you noticed that, since the very beginning, the only ones that have never quit the Glee Club were the guys?" she says, and he seems to be processing that information in his head.
"Except for Kurt…"
"Well, he was forced to do it. So that doesn't count."
"You are kind of right…"
"I'm always right, sweetie" she teases, kissing him again. "The point is that I'm firmly convinced that they stay for and because of you. You inspire them. They follow you. They see you as their leader. They respect you. And that's not easy. They are loyal to the club but, in a way, you invented the club for them. You opened the door for them. And they appreciated that." She knows he believes her just by seeing the way his eyes shine for a second. He kisses her, wrapping his arms around her middle, nibbling at her lower lip, and she takes that as an unsaid "Thank you". They keep eating their dinner, her back against his chest and her head in his shoulder, stealing kisses between their bites.
"I have been thinking about my future, you know?" he says, emphasizing his words like if she's not going to believe him. "I wanted to think about it alone before… you know… asking for your help. I just… I didn't want to snap like the last time, 'cause it's not your fault and you don't deserve to be treated like that and… Now I feel a lot more confident about it, so I think we can discuss it…" he doesn't finish his speech, because her lips are suddenly pressing against his and he just relaxes under her touch, kissing her back.
"What have you thought?" she asks when they separate, and she intertwines their fingers, squeezing his hand.
"I thought that, maybe, I could be a teacher, you know? I… I could teach, right? Nothing hard like physics or chemistry, but I could be a good music teacher or a coach maybe? And… being with Rory made me realize that I like to be an influence in someone else life. I'd like to be a cool teacher, like Mr Schue or Coach Beiste, and I think I can do it. So… yeah. " he announces, and she smiles because he's so excited that it's infectious, and because it's perfect for him and, secretly, she's already thought about that option and she's really, really glad that he wants it too.
"You'd be a wonderful teacher" she says, matter-of-factly, and he beams at her.
"Do you think so?"
"Of course I do! You are dedicated and passionate and inspiring and you'll be the perfect teacher!" she's almost screaming by now, the excitement filling her, and he blushes and gives her his famous crooked smile.
"You have to say that, since you're my girlfriend…" he starts.
"No, I don't have to. But I want to. Because I know you, and I believe in you…"
"Even when I don't believe in myself" he finishes for her, and they share a knowing look. He leans closer, resting his forehead against hers, and she captures his lips in a sweet, tender kiss.
"I love you" she whispers, and he smiles against her lips, his fingertips playing with the ends of the shirt that she's wearing. She shifts in his lap, trying to stop him from moving forward.
"Before we… continue with this and I forget about anything else…" she says, and he raises his eyebrows in a suggestive manner "I'd like to sing you the song I choose for my Glee assignment." she announces, and she stands up and opens her big purse, sitting in his lap again with her iPod in one hand and sheet music in the other. He reads the title of the sheet music and burst out laughing.
"What?" she asks, frowning.
"Bring me that" he says, pointing to a few paper sheets that rest on his desk. She's the one that laughs then, when she reads the title of the printed sheets.
"We really are tethered" she exclaims, putting the two sheets together and pointing to the matching titles, and she kisses him right on the mouth, biting him a little because she loves him too much to contain herself. "Sing it to me…" she whispers, as she wraps her arms around his neck and her legs to each side of his hips. He wraps his own arms around her middle, and he starts to sing in the sweetest, most tender voice she's ever heard.
"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. And wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong. You know it's gonna make it that much better. When we can say "goodnight" and stay together…" he sings, sliding his hands under her shirt and caressing the small of her back. "Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up in the morning when the day is new. And after having spent the day together hold each other close the whole night through. Happy times together we've been spending. I wish that every kiss was never ending…" he stops for a moment and kisses her, and she has to suppress a chuckle because she doesn't want for him to stop singing. He lies down then, his back against the floor, and she lies against his chest, putting her chin in her hands so she can look him in the eyes. When he starts singing again, she follows him, and they both sing in an effortless and beautiful harmony.
"Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true. Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do. We could be married and then we'd be happy… Wouldn't it be nice! You know it seems the more we talk about it… It only makes it worse to live without it… But let's talk about it… Wouldn't it be nice!" she looks at him for a moment after they finish, as he combs her hair with his fingers.
"I don't feel like singing that in front of everybody…" he confesses. She nods.
"Although I love to share our epic love with the rest of the world (and I even find it necessary sometimes)… I agree with you. This song is ours. Like every other song we sing to each other, for each other or together. We should have at least one song just for us," she agrees, caressing his cheek. He takes her hand in his and kisses it, then holds it against his heart. She feels it beating against her fingers, and she can't help but kiss him right there, her lips lingering in the soft, warm skin of his chest, peppering it with kisses. He sighs, contently. When he talks again, he looks at her deeply in the eyes, as if he needs to her to know that he truly means the words he's about to speak.
"I know you and Kurt have these big plans and I'm happy for you two. I know you will get everything you two dream of, because you are awesome and you both deserve it. You work really hard for it and… and sometimes, I feel happier for your dreams than about mine. And maybe… maybe one day I could… you know… dream with you two too. Like… be a part of those dreams," he says, smiling at her, and she feels like she will burst into tears at any moment. She has conflicted feelings, and she hates that. She's struggling between the excitement about his last statement and the love she feels for him, and then this little voice in the back of her head that screams to her that she's the worst girlfriend ever for not letting him know before that she really, really wants him in her future.
"Finn…" she whispers, without even trying to hold back her tears, "You are and always have been a part of the plan. Part of my plan, at least. I just… I don't want to drag you into something you might not want. I want you to want to come with me. I want you to build your own dreams first, so we can build ours together after them," she says, and he smiles at her, brushing his thumb against her cheek, wiping the few tears that escaped from her eyes. He rolls them on the carpet so he's in top of her, and starts kissing her neck and her cheeks and every patch of skin that he can find. She laughs at him, tangling her fingers in his hair.
"I'd love to go to New York with you," he whispers one last time, and it sounds more like a promise. To her, to himself… to them. She shivers a little, parting her legs unconsciously.
"Wouldn't it be nice?" she asks. He doesn't even bother to answer that question to her. Not in words, at least.
So, did you guys like it? Leave me a Review! Thanks!