A/N: So this is an incredibly old story i've had to dig up again since my original ffnet account has been compromised aaaaaand i needed to post it here anyways.

Because it's old, you'll find that it, uh, reads like a classic original fanfic should. Hopefully you don't hate it and put me on your 'Do Not Read' list ;u;

Also, this was written when Dynasty Warriors 7 had been JUST released and i was jelly and drooling over all of the outfits and gameplay and Ma Dai

Boop...boop...boop boop...boop

"That's nine dollars even. Is that credit, debit, or cash?" The perpetually wearied-eyes held an irritated gaze on the customer who was taking their dear, sweet time on fishing out the payment card from their wallet.

Sigh. I shouldn't even be here right now. I wish i wasn't even here right now...

"Umm...either one, it doesn't matter."

Yes, it does, dumbass.

The cashier's ponytail seemed to sigh with its wearer as the screen read 'PAYMENT TYPE MISMATCH'.

"I punched in debit, you must have selected credit. Which payment method do you want to use?" Aggravation was evident in the way every other word was articulated through gritted teeth.

"Oh, uh, let's go with debit, debit's fine."

After the customer's input on the mini touch screen, the cash register sprung open but was immediately closed with excessive force. Snatching the receipt out of the machine and thrusting it at the complacent customer, the drained cashier turned off the light above the register that indicated he was open and sat down under the register to hopefully snooze undetected.

[20 minutes later]

"Ksssht...Kssssht...PocketRocket7 awaiting dispatch from Mission Control, OVER."

...

"Ksssht Control do you read?!"

Obnoxious gnashing of food reverberated throughout the store via P.A. system along with the fake astronaut transmissions.

"Ksssht Mission Control at station 2, reads."

"Kssssht Mission Control forgot to say OVER when they were OVER, OVER."

"Ksssht thank you for catching that, Mission Control OVER."

Feedback from the microphone squeals throughout the entire store.

"Kssssht Mission Control to PocketRocket7, granting permission to orbit, OVER."

"Ksssht PocketRocket7 to Mission Control, ejecting large cloud of nebula, requesting hyperspace penetration, OVER."

"Ksssht PocketRocket7 autocontrol terminated, you are cleared for hyperspace penetration, OVER."

What the actual FUCK?!

The shirking cashier clambered up to his register to admonish his idiotic co-workers, but first, he heard-

"LING TONG! Sleeping on the job again! My father will be very unhappy hearing about this again."

"What the-!? Sun Quan, did you not hear those-"

"That's Manager Quan to you, first of all. Secondly, before you try and place fault in something else, make sure you're in good standing yourself. I can't even leave the building without you slacking off! *sigh* How come you can't be like those two! Alert, amiable, and actually doing their jobs!" Sun Quan's head gestured toward Register's 2 and 7, where Sun Ce and Gan Ning stood, pretending to tidy the space around them and feigning innocence.

"Be more like them?! They're idiots! And no one comes in after 8:00 in the evening except for dumb highschool kids trying to buy alcohol! The only people here are those forced to come against their will because they need a JOB!" Ling Tong exclaimed as an unexplainable tumbleweed blew by.

"Tsk tsk tsk, you'll never get employee of the month with that attitude." Sun Quan chided as he shook his head. "Now stop being a lazy ass and get back to work!"

Ling Tong threw his hands in the air with exasperation since the store really had no customers. So there was no work to be done.

Sun Quan was making his way to his office as Gan Ning and Sun Ce started their slow advance to Ling Tong's register - as if they really were in outer space.

"Ksssht Ding-a-Ling Tong at station 4, can you read? OVER."

" :/ "

"Ksssht PocketRocket7 approaching, OVER."

"….."

"Ksssht Mission Control, come in! Where's your position? OVER"

"Ksssht Mission Control is at the Milky Way, OVER"

Even though they weren't using the speaker system this time, the moist sounds of food being masticated could still be heard - every chew, turn of the tongue, and swallow. Ling Tong turned around painfully slow, knowing that if he put any more energy in his movements he would snap and possibly have a bloody mess to clean up. Which is work. Which is something he is not willing to do.

Over his right shoulder was Sun Ce, who was actually at a stand with Milky Way candy bars, smacking his mouth loudly with a cupped hand, which only amplified the moist noises. Ling Tong glared through narrow slits while gritting his teeth. The captain of PocketRocket7 successfully made it to station 4 and made his presence known. Right in Ling Tong's ear, of course.

"KSSSSSHT THE POCKETROCKET HAS LANDED! NOW READY FOR BOARDING AT-"

"GUUAAAAAGHHHH! THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Gan Ning screamed as Ling Tong, who was caught off guard with the abrupt announcement, grabbed the ambiguous blue liquid (that is in every grocery store that one could visit and is used to clean just about everything with) and sprayed him right in the eyes. Ling Tong was kinda glad it was him and was kinda glad he did it, sooo an apology wasn't in order anytime soon.

"You yelled in my FUCKING EAR! The hell you think, dumbass!?"

Sun Ce, still in outer space and in the middle of a candy bar, saw the attack on PocketRocket7 and surmised it was the alien at station 4 and was NOT going to let the captain go down.

"Ksssssht! This is Mission Control! Initiating turbo booster jets! Commencing alien take down! Take this, alien scum!"

Sun Ce picked up the stand full of milky ways and charged Ling Tong.

"Eeeeyaaahh- whoops, I mean KSSssSSSht EEEeeeyaaaAaAaaahhhh!"

Ling Tong tried to evade the attack but Gan Ning, writhing in agony on the floor, tripped him up and Ling Tong was caught in the full body and cardboard-stand-full-of-candy tackle. The stand exploded and Milky Ways rained down upon the three-man heap. Gan Ning was still on the floor, Sun Ce was slung across a shelf of last minute grabs, and there stood Ling Tong - Sun Ce's awkward body pinning him against the register and Gan Ning's sprawled position preventing his feet from giving in.

Manager Quan heard the commotion and was a bit grouchy having his sales debriefing with Assistant Manager Lian Shi interrupted.

"What's all the hullabaloo?!"

There stood Ling Tong. Surrounded by a mess of candy bars. Hell, one of them looks half eaten! And here he is, on the clock, eating unpaid-for merchandise, and is slovenly stretched across the register! What nerve!

"Ling Tong! Office! NOW!" Sun Quan bellowed as he fumed back into the store's bowels.

Ling Tong grumbled in defeat.

"Ksssht…copy.."