A/N: So I was making 94% fat-free popcorn, cause I'm on a health kick (we'll see how long that lasts :P ), and I used the 'popcorn' button. And about 1/3 of the bag didn't pop. So I put it back in for 40 seconds. And the 2/3 that had popped already burned. D: And here I am, knowing that I completely disregarded the instructions on the bag, and still cursing the fact that even making popcorn can't be easy.
Therefore, this was born. Woooot.
Written while picking out the non-burned popcorns. (because I heard the burned ones have carcinogens in them, and 'death by popcorn' would not be the way I'd choose to go)
Popcorn
Light loves popcorn because of its simplicity. Making popcorn doesn't involve thinking. At all. A trained monkey could do it.
Heck, a trained leech could probably do it, if it had opposable thumbs and access to a microwave.
You don't even have to look at the instructions. Just put the bag in the microwave.
There's even a button labeled 'popcorn'.
All you have to do is push it. As simple as pulling the trigger on a gun.
That's Light's logic when he decides to kill L the good old-fashioned way. After eating his 94% fat-free butter-free popcorn, of course. But if he had taken the time to read the box, he would have discovered that, sometimes, making popcorn isn't that easy. One little glance at the instructions would have revealed the words "DO NOT USE THE 'POPCORN' BUTTON" in bold.
Because every so often, the button miscalculates, and your popcorn doesn't finish popping.
On occasion, it burns.
And, once in a very great while, the house goes up in flames.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Light has always known that it would come to this. This point, at which everything was going his way, each cog and gear in place to make the clock timing his new world tick…and the only monkey wrench in the works was L.
More than anything in the world, he wanted L dead.
Okay, so that was a complete and utter lie.
See, the issue here was that he didn't want to kill L. In the least.
He'd developed…an attachment. And emotions were not something the God of the new Utopia could fall prey to. Feelings equaled weakness, which equaled failure, which was not an option.
And L equaled feelings.
Light wasn't dumb. He'd admitted to himself that he was becoming emotionally involved with L the second it started. The next second, he was figuring out how to combat it. He tried keeping more physical distance between them. But every time he walked past L's chair, his hand seemed pulled by a magnetic force, coming to rest on L's shoulder.
It was completely unacceptable. He couldn't have his body rebelling against him. Each and every part of him must be in perfect harmony, or else he was in danger of slipping up.
Which meant being caught.
Which meant being killed.
But for some reason, he always held back. His mind invented completely logical excuses for why L's death was impractical; the foremost of which was that he didn't know the man's real name. Not that he tried very hard to find out.
And he conveniently forgot the far-too John Wayne option of a gun.
And then…the turning point.
Light tried not to think about that day. Ever. But it kept creeping back into his mind. The time L kissed him.
It had been innocent enough; a peck on the cheek after Light handed him his slice of cake.
The look in L's eyes, though…the thrill of returned affection and even lust…Light knew that if he let that happen again, he was as good as dead.
He found it ironic that L had sealed his fate with a kiss. Something so trivial and emotional. It would have been much more fitting if he had died in a huge conspiratorial criminal/detective mash-up.
That's what Light tries to distract himself with as he switches off the safety, sniping the security cameras one by one.
He's thinking about popcorn as he eases open the door to his and L's room.
But all he can think about when he holds the gun to L's head is how beautiful the man's lips will look stained red with blood.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
When L shifts to look at him out of the corner of his eyes, there is no fear in his gaze.
What there is, though, is hurt. Betrayal. And behind that, an undeniable "I told you so".
"I take it this is Yagami-kun's confession".
Light pulls the trigger halfway back, cocking the bullet…and finds he can't escape those eyes. He feels disconnected from his own body, and his mind makes the observation that he's shaking so hard L's head is wobbling with the force of the gun.
"No one is granted entrance to this floor but the investigation team. When I am found dead or missing in the morning, it will be concluded that you killed me, and are therefore Kira.
"I am surprised that Yagami-kun would be this messy. As my final request, I would like to know why you chose to be rid of me so suddenly and sloppily. If Kira is in the way of granting last requests…?"
For a minute, all Light can see is red. He knows he made a fatal move. But this man…was driving him insane. IS driving him insane. He can't think straight with L around, and it's all culminated to this standoff. Which will lead to his demise.
He could, of course, take his adversary down with him.
He could kill the entire rest of the investigation team, and Watari.
Damn it all! Why did he think this would be easy?
Oh yeah. The popcorn.
Light thinks that maybe he should have read the instructions. But, then again, where's the fun in that?
And so he winds up pressed full-frontal against the man he was resigned to killing only seconds ago, submitting to the other's embrace.
He's well aware that L's arms are his shackles, his noose, but none of that matters, because right now his captor is kissing back, allowing one last display of weakness before he goes through with what Light could not and sentences the one he loves to death.
What Light's forgotten, though, is that more often than not, the 'popcorn' button works just fine.
Gasping, L pulls away.
"I can save you, under two conditions. First, tell me everything. Second, you gave up being Kira once. Do it again, and I'll take care of the rest."
Light isn't one to shirk away from his ideals. He would never give up his perfect world.
But when faced with the options of death, in which state he has no hope of ever completing his goal, and life with L, where he will be happy, and maybe someday regain his memory…
Well, it's as easy as pushing the 'popcorn' button.
A/N: Review? Share fun popcorn stories? (I have a great one about my Grandma almost burning the house down with a flaming popcorn ball) All reviewers will get a bag of *un-burned* virtual popcorn. :D