Sirius frowned as Fred and George entered the kitchen at Grimauld place, both looking flustered and annoyed. Glancing over at Remus questioningly, his friend shrugged, bemused at the unusual behaviour of the twins.
The twins headed for the table, both leaning heavily on the wooden surface and staring at something George had placed on the table.
Curiosity piqued, Sirius walked over, silent as a mouse as the twins began talking in hushed, annoyed tones. "-I can't believe he was so callous! We need to have a few choice words with Harry about map safety -" Fred muttered, oblivious to the leering form of Sirius above him.
"What have we here?" Sirius stated loudly from behind the pair, greatly amused as the pair of them shot from where they were perched, George scooping something into the palm of his hand as fast as he could, but not fast enough. With the reflexes of a cat, Sirius dashed forward, tugging the familiar piece of parchment into his hand. Smiling subtly, he nodded Remus over, stepping away from the Weasley twins slightly. Turning the piece of seemingly scrap paper over in his hands, he handed it to Remus, who studied it in a similar manner. "What, prey tell, is this?" He asked the boys, who looked surprisingly calm in the face of their elders.
"Hmm, I wonder." Remus stated drily, handing the parchment back to Sirius.
"Its just an old piece of scrap parchment." George stated, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Oh, well I suppose if its not important, I might as well be rid of it..." Sirius stated with a grin, digging his muggle lighter out of his back pocket. Flicking the flame towards the corner of the page, he grinned.
"NO!" Two identical screams flew across the room as the twins dived for the paper, both leaning as far as they could across the wooden desk.
"Blimey, you can't have had the map for long if you didn't know it was flame proof." Sirius stated with a grin, waving the undamaged parchment towards the twins tantalisingly.
"Well, after what happened with the first map, Prongs' made sure that the new map would be as indestructible as possible." Remus smiled, nudging Sirius with his shoulder.
"Wait. you knew Prongs?" George asked, eyes widening. "As in, the Prongs?"
"Erm..." Sirius nodded, tilting his head amusedly.
George's eyes widened further, stretching to an alarming size as he looked between Remus and Sirius in awe. "What was he like? Was he as brilliant as the legend states? What about -?"
"-the other ones?" Fred continued, sliding into one of the seats in fascination. "Who was the brains behind the operation? It was Moony, wasn't it? His name's first on the map. Did you -"
"-know them well?" George interrupted, grabbing Remus' hand tightly across the table. "Did they really turn the great lake orange? Or make all the walls in Hogwarts into jelly and the floors into ice during -"
"-November 1976, the 30 days of pranks?" Fred finished, knuckles clenched tight against the table as he looked at Sirius and Remus expectantly.
"One question at a time, please." Remus asked, sipping from his teacup to hide his amusement as he freed himself of George, slipping into one of the chairs opposite the twins. "There's no way myself and poor old Sirius can keep up with such a barrage of questions."
"Speak for yourself... Remus." Sirius paused, smiling.
"Who were they?"
"Who do you think they were?"
"We made a list." George supplied, squinting towards the ceiling in the hopes of remembering it. "Tonks, Shacklebot, Amos Diggory, Katie Bell's dad, Fudge, Dumbledore, and that's not half of it."
"We even considered He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Fred stated, oblivious to the shudder that ran down both Sirius and Remus' spines at the thought of Voldemort being a marauder.
"Dumbledore." Sirius grinned, eyebrows raised, before they dropped swiftly. "Tonks. You think that the little runt going after Remus had the brains to be a marauder? Besides, half of those people weren't students during the 1976 pranks."
"We did consider that McGonnagal may have told us the wrong year. She's getting on a bit nowadays, there was a chance that, in her fury, her poor old brain got 1976 muddled with 1986 or 1946..." Fred muttered with a shrug.
"Minnie will never be old enough to get anything wrong." Sirius grinned, patting Remus' arm on the table with a grin. "It was 1976, ruling out most of your list."
"Well, our other theory was that perhaps Dumbledore and a coalition of 3 other teachers had grouped together and began creating elaborate pranks with the aim of driving McGonnagal insane, but we found MWPP Forever scrawled inside one of the trophy cabinets, which are only usually opened for detentions, and we don't think even McGonnagal has the power to put Dumbledore in detention." Fred grinned, looking towards the ceiling pensively. "Who would have been there? Diggory, Katie Bell's dad, and Shacklebot..."
"Its no one on that list." Remus supplied, smiling at the dejected looks on the twin's faces.
"Who is it then?" Fred whispered anxiously, leaning forward. "I need to meet at least one Marauder in my lifetime."
"You've met two of them quite recently." Remus stated, "Though the other two were both casualties of the first war, I'm afraid."
"You're kidding me." George scoffed. "I'd know if I'd met a marauder."
"Apparently not." Sirius stated with a grin, leaning back into his chair. "And if you can't work it out for yourself, myself and... Remus... here shall not be handing it to you on a plate, shall we?"
"Have you perhaps tried thinking about the meaning behind the nicknames?" Remus asked, looking over to Sirius with a smile.
"We looked through countless records, trying to find a Mooney or Moon or Moons, but none of the people with that last name had maraudering credentials." Fred sighed dejectedly. "As for the others, we looked at Marcus Pronwell, Emilia Wormfoot, and Harvey Padstone, but none of them seemed right..."
"If the last name didn't relate to the word moon, what other reasons would their be to nickname a person after the moon?" Remus asked, turning into professor mode in the hopes of helping them find the answer.
Both twins frowned, looking thoughtfully at each other for a moment, before Fred spoke lightly. "Well, lunacy is insanity related to the moon cycles, so it could have been an insane person -"
"-Or -" George pulled his brother in by the collar, whispering into his ear anxiously. Sirius and Remus shared a knowing grin as the twins conversed quietly, at a rapid rate. Finally they sat back, both staring at Remus and Sirius disconcertingly, without a blink between the pair of them.
"Get the book." Fred hissed quietly at his twin, eyes still trained on Remus and Sirius as George slinked out of the room, not taking his eyes off the marauders until necessity dictated that he had to. The three sat in silence, Remus quite happily sipping on his tea as Sirius reclined and Fred sat bolt upright, until the second twin returned, a rather thick book clasped between his hands. Sitting down, he looked between the two marauders nervously.
"Moony." He stated, pointing at Remus with his pen. "Padfoot?" He repeated the gesture, angling the pen towards Sirius. "Moony and Padfoot?"
"The very same." Sirius bowed in his chair, leaning forward with a smile. "I'd know if I'd met a marauder" Sirius impersonated, shaking his head in amusement. "And we didn't dye the great lake orange -"
"-it was purple. With lime green polka dots, I believe." Remus smiled, raising his eyebrows in remembrance. "Whilst that was more than impressive, it was your idea to dye the lakes' inhabitants to look like Sna-Severus that was the piece du resistance - not that the mermaids were particularly pleased with their new, greasy hair..."
"I'd forgotten about that! And one of the mermaids spotted Snivelly and thought it was his fault that they looked like him - let me tell you two, there is nothing more amusing than watching Severus Snape run, arms a flailing, away from a troop of angry mermaids." Sirius laughed, spreading the map across the table and revealing its contents. "And we didn't cover all the walls and floors in the castle with ice or jelly, that would have taken too long. Instead, we did all the main corridors, then a few select rarely used corridors; it took them months to realise some of the lesser used floors were still covered in ice, and the jelly developed this nasty habit of sucking people into its mists and not letting go."
"Do you remember Gregory Abbot? He went missing for 3 days, eventually they found him on the fifth floor in that corridor, encased in a thick layer of Strawberry Jelly." Remus winced, looking slightly apologetic as he pointed to the appropriate corridor on the map. "That was before we 'took control' of the pranks... Some of our early work was a bit loose." Remus smiled at Sirius, before looking back at the twins. "Are you two alright? You've gone awfully quiet."
"You really are both marauders." Fred stated, voice echoing with awe as his eyes darted between the two of them.
"I've never met any of my idols before." George's eyes were as wide as his twins, before he shoved the book that had been firmly encased in his arms towards the remaining marauders. Remus smiled worriedly, picking the book out of George's shaking hands and reading the title.
"What Would a Marauder Do?" Remus frowned, flicking through the book and noting that each page was headed with a single unique sentence. "When charming doxies to spell out names, is there a way to make them change colours? What is the simplest prank to trick McGonnagal with? Is it ever appropriate to prank Dumbledore?" Remus shook his head, flipping further into the book.
"We have been writing in there since we found the map." George said, watching his idols happily. "Every time we've had a question about a prank or wondered whether something was appropriate, we've written it in the WWMD book in the hopes that a marauder would one day be able to tell us the appropriate answer. And, well, since you're here..."
"There must be at least 300 questions in here." Remus smiled, putting the book to the side for a moment, ignoring Fred and George's dejected faces. "Myself and Sirius will write our answers in the book as soon as we have some spare time, don't worry."
"And to answer the McGonnagal question, the simplest way to annoy her is always the simple things; she still never checks her tea for potions, so slip something weak in there; a hair colouring potion, or one to make her voice change. Really, someone should tell her she's setting herself up for a poisoning unless she takes the Moody approach of constant vigilance..."
"All of us pranked Dumbledore at one point or another; he seemed to appreciate the joviality and juvenile amusement that spread from us pranking him. However, whenever one of us messed with Dumbles, the guilty party always mysteriously ended up with fluorescent pink hair within a week, so don't expect to get away scot free. Never did work out how he knew which one of us it was he had been pranked by."
"That, my dear boy, was quite simple." All four occupants of the room jumped nervously as Dumbledore appeared at the door, an enigmatic twinkle in his eyes. "Whenever you, Sirius, had been the perpetrator, your shoulders would rise a little, and you would struggle to hide your amusement, whilst when it was someone else's prank your amusement was never hidden. Whenever you, Remus, were the perpetrator, you tended to look guilty. Whenever Mr Potter arranged my misfortune, he would practically tell the entire school, whilst whenever young Peter Pettigrew perpetrated my downfall he would walk around as if he was the top dog for a few hours." His eyes sparkled, walking into the room briefly as Sirius shoved the map into his pocket. "Do I need to be worried about this small meeting of the minds?"
"Of course not, Sir." Fred stated, smiling charmingly. "When have we ever given you reason to worry?"
"Rest assured, boys, I shall be on guard for the next 12 months." "I daresay I am not as naive as when these two were terrorising Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled, nodding to the boys. "Have you seen dear Molly? I need her to prepare a room for Harry's arrival in a week."
"She's upstairs, in the drawing room." Remus supplied, smiling as Dumbledore left. Sirius spread the map over the table once more, grinning.
"So, I assume you boys know the ins and outs of this thing?" He grinned, smoothing the map out.
"Sure, tap it and state 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' to activate, 'Mischief Managed' to deactivate. Dots are people, and it shows most of the known tunnels in and around Hogwarts."
"Ever try talking to the map?"
"Yeah, but all we got in response were insults."
"Only if the map wasn't activated." Sirius grinned, passing Remus a quill. "We wanted to pass our knowledge onto future generations, so we imprinted a sort of weakened version of our personalities into the map, on the off chance someone would write on it."
Leaning over to watch Remus' actions, they watched a scrolling cursive script play out as soon as Remus finished his short sentence.
Does Mssr Padfoot like this room?
Mssr Prongs would like to declare that , seeing as this is McGonnagal's bedroom, Mssr Padfoot LOVES this room.
Mssr Padfoot must agree, and concede that Minnie is a dirty lady in the boudoir.
Mssr Moony is slightly concerned by Mssr Padfoot's knowledge of the proffessor's bedroom skills, and would like to question if child support need be called in.
Mssr Padfoot is pleased to inform Mssr Moony that all interactions between Mssr Padfoot and Minnie had two very willing participants. Mssr Padfoot is however charmed by Mssr Moony's jealous and protective streak.
Mssr Prongs thinks that sweet talk does not belong on the map.
Mssr Wormtail agrees with Prong's sentiments, and would like to suggest some sort of prank surrounding McGonnagal's bedsheets.
"Its not insulting you." Fred stated, brow raised.
"No, its only designed to insult those that are not welcome to read it." Remus smiled lightly. "Once you're in, you can talk away. We did at one point make a piece of parchment specifically so that future generations could ask versions of us questions..."
"But we didn't get round to clearing it one day in Transfiguration, and McGonnagal took great pleasure in burning it." Sirius sighed, taking the quill off Remus. "Some of our finest work, that parchment was. We were all too dejected by its demise to make a replica. I still remember the spell work though...." He stated, scribbling down some spells.
"Moony and Padfoot." Fred stated once more, looking between the two of them. "So the other marauders were..."
"James Potter and Peter Pettigrew." Sirius smiled sadly, looking up from the parchment. "I daresay you've lived with one marauder for the best part of 12 years, been taught by another, lived in the house of a third and befriended a child of the fourth." He nodded. "Not bad for
"Harry's maraudering offspring?" George squeaked, blinking rapidly. "Did he know that you two were... well, you two?" An edge of intensity had swept into George's voice, and Remus frowned, realising how frightfully similar to James and Sirius the twins were.
"No, no -" Remus started, before Sirius interrupted off handedly.
"Of course." Sirius stated with a smile, patting Remus on the shoulder. "He's known for about a year and a half now." Remus winced, hitting his friend half heartedly on the shoulder.
"And he didn't -" George started.
"-tell us?" Fred finished, looking at his twin with wide, disconcerting eyes. Sirius bit his lip, glancing at Remus guiltily as Remus rolled his eyes.
"Forget you-know-who, Harry Potter has bigger things to worry about now." George growled, standing up.
"Fancy, not telling us, the people that changed his life -"
"-The people that gave him the marauders map -"
"-That he knew who their anonymous heroes were!"
"This means war." Both twins stated together, cackling madly as George pressed the book into Remus' hands, whilst Fred grabbed the map, and the two of them ran upstairs, searching for a boy who lived in order to wreak havoc.
Sirius and Remus sat in silence for a moment, before Sirius leant forward to rest his chin on the table, looking up at Remus with a wince.
"I'm a bad godfather, aren't I?" He grinned, resting a hand on Remus' thigh.
"Yes Sirius. Yes you are."
Four hours later, when a multicoloured Harry Potter, covered in polka dots with Snape-like hair and the feet of a baboon walked into the kitchen, all Sirius could do was smile.
"Oops?"
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