hey! so basically I got this random idea to put Snape as a substitute Chemistry/Science teacher at an elementary Muggle school and thus *this* emerged xD
Disclaimer: All characters (except for the slight mention of Albert Scavia) belong to J.K. Rowling; I only own the plot, sadly
Chapter One: Early Morning News
It was Friday the 13th, and Severus Snape had been summoned to Dumbledore's office at 3:05 in the morning. He briskly swept across the hallways, desperately trying to keep his cool and ignoring the frenzy of cold gusts which were creeping in from the external school grounds. He cringed at what was going to happen as he reached the end of the third floor, Gargoyle Corridor.
"Sher-bet lemon," he said through gritted teeth. It was way too much of a joyful word to exist in his vocabulary, and he absolutely despised saying it. He dragged his feet up the ascending staircase, careful not to get his robe caught in the cracks, and was eventually greeted with the cheery face of Albus Dumbledore. "Severus, please come in."
In entering, he also saw Minerva McGonagall, slightly more dishevelled than usual, and only a few other teachers who managed to wake themselves to be informed of Snape's new assignment. He turned to Dumbledore. "Albus, must you change your pass-word again? Coc-kroach Clus-ters was fine. It takes me an incredible amount of ef-fort to sa-"
"Sherbet lemon?" Dumbledore smiled his small mysterious smile, his eyes crinkling upwards as they always did when he was amused. "Why, it's my favourite sweet, Severus."
Mcgonagall chimed in beside him; "You ought to try one yourself, Severus; let us hope that a little sugar can brighten up those vile features for a change. Or maybe not…you're naturally vile."
Snape stared daggers at McGonagall. There had recently been a Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin and McGonagall had not at all been pleased when Slytherin managed to win by 150 points as a result of their 'tactics'.
Dumbledore pretended not to hear her, and continued on to clap his hands, eventually getting the attention of the mumbling staff. Tilting his half-moon glasses, he grinned mischievously at Snape, who merely gave him an indifferent glance.
"A few minutes past midnight, I received an owl from one of my dear Muggle friends, Albert Scavia. He is the principal at an elementary boarding school in Surrey, and unfortunately, the Year 2 Science teacher there has fallen devastatingly ill and cannot teach for as long as several weeks. Therefore…"
He paused for dramatic effect. "…I have told him our dear Potions master here will substitute for those few weeks!"
Dumbledore smiled widely as though he had just finished telling a fabulous story to a group of kindergarteners. The reaction in the staff was rather delayed as the news hit them. Snape, SNAPE was going to be teaching seven-year-olds at a Muggle school. McGonagall burst out laughing. It was quite rare to see her laugh this much, and soon the other teachers joined her in doing so, Flitwick so much he almost toppled off his chair. "Are you sure about this, Albus? I mean, this is Severus we're talking about. Not a jolly old man with a nice temper."
Dumbledore nodded calmly at McGonagall, while for the first time, Snape was lost for words. "Me…mug-gle school…year two…" However, he regained his composure and looked Dumbledore in the eye. "Very well, Headmaster. When should I leave?"
"Now would be a good time. You shouldn't have to pack much," Dumbledore handed him a letter while smiling and tapping on it with his finger. "This contains the address and information you'll need to get started."