Hello lovely friends. New story. So excited for you guy's to read this one! It's all told from Eli's point of view, I may occasionally throw in Clare's pov. It's going to be long, you've been warned. And Nah, Degrassi isn't mine. Why do you guy's always ask me?
The thoughts racing through my mind were relentless, they have been plaguing my mind ever since Clare uttered those words. "I'm pregnant." That would have been enough to complicate things, but then she twisted the knife. She confessed it was Drew's, not mine. I never had imagined she could be with anyone else but me in that way, but I especially never thought she'd be with him. Loving Clare Edward's is all I have known for so long, imagining her having a child with someone else kills me. It eats away at my soul every second of the day. I loved her so much though, so much so that I still tried to be with her after finding out the child wasn't mine. I promised to always stay by her side, no matter what, but I couldn't keep that promise anymore. I couldn't sit across from her and pretend that everything was fine with us, when it wasn't. I pushed her away, I did everything in my power to make her think I didn't love her anymore. A week ago she came to talk to me about something that she said would "fix everything" and I called her a whore before she could explain what she was talking about. She walked away in tears, and I hated myself for it. When she was out of sight I broke down, I couldn't believe I had done that to her. I had no choice though. I couldn't let her pull me back in, I had to let her go. I wanted Clare to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. Despite how much I hated Drew, I knew he would take care of her, and her baby. I wished so bad that I had just stayed in New York, because seeing her and Drew together was getting to me, more than I ever thought possible.
I was on my way to pick up Imogen from Degrassi, her car was in the shop, and all I could think about was seeing Clare there, and what It would do to me. When I pulled up to the parking lot Imgoen wouldn't answer my calls or texts, and eventually I had to go looking for her. I made my way inside the school, my black high tops squeaking against the floor. It felt like I had stepped into a time machine, to a time when everything was better. Even walking through the hall's made my chest ache, and my head pound. Every locker, and every class room reminded me of memories with Clare. Memories I wish I could forget. The hall's started to clear, and there was still no sign of Imogen. I decided to give up my search, and I headed towards the front doors. I was so deep in thought I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings and I ran into someone. I immediately started to apologize and pick up the persons belonging's they had dropped. When I looked up the see the face of the person I ran into, it was none other than the person who had ruined my life, Drew. I stood up, and dropped his things back on the floor. I began to walk away, but he called my name, "Eli!" I wanted to keep on walking, forget I ever saw him, but my curiosity over took me. What could he have to say to me? I stopped in my tracks, and against my better judgment, turned around to face him.
"What? What could we possibly have to say to each other?" The distain in my voice was apparent, I was coming off confrontational, but It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
Drew's face was soft, and the pity in his eyes heavy. That only further angered me. "Eli, this has to stop. We live in the same town we cant avoid each other forever." My face twisted in confusion, was he serious? Was this going to be a "let's be civil" conversation?
"Drew. I don't mean to come off harsh, but fuck you. Fuck you, and anything you have to say. I don't give a shit about you, or Clare. You both sicken me. The sight of you two makes my skin crawl, and If I can help it we wont be running into each other, so don't worry."
"You know what, this isn't worth it. You're pathetic, and you don't deserve Clare or that baby, I hope you wake up one day sad and alone and you realize everything you could have had, but don't. All because you're a hard headed coward. You don't know how lucky you are." Drew left me standing there alone, more confused than ever. Was he really trying to rub it in my face? He took Clare and my future away from me, how could he say I was lucky. What did he expect me to do in this situation? I stood there pondering over our encounter when the sound of the office door's opening caught my attention. It was Clare. Drew was no doubt probably waiting outside for her, this is why I should have never come back. It was like every day in this town was "shit on Eli day." We made eye contact, and even though it pained me to see her, I savored the moment. Looking into her eyes made me weak, it made me want to beg for her forgiveness. It wasn't an option anymore though, it never would be again. Clare looked away and walked passed me wiping he face. I grabbed her arm to stop her, she shot her head up to look at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. I shouldn't have stopped her, and I should have let go as soon as I realized what I had done, but my heart made me do stupid things. My voice was matter of fact when I spoke to her, and I tried to keep any sign of emotion off of my face. "Clare. Why are you crying?"
Clare's face hid nothing, the pain in her eyes was evident. "You need to let go of me, now. Don't ever touch, look, or even think about me again. I hate you, with every fiber in my being, I hate you Eli Goldsworthy." I let go, and she continued to walk out the doors. Before I could let what she said sink in, my phone began to rang. I answered it.
"Hello? Imogen, what the hell. Where are you?"
"I'm sorry Eli, I forgot to tell you I got another ride home. I hope you aren't mad, I completely forgot."
I wanted to tell her how pissed I was, but she was the only friend I had left. "It's fine, no problem."
"How about I go over and we play that zombie game you like? I'll bring pizza, my treat?" I wanted to tell her it was ok, that she didn't have to buy me pizza to have my forgiveness, but I couldn't be alone right now. If I was alone I would have to think about what Clare said to me, the longer I could put off that pain the better.
"That sounds great Imogen, see you at my house in a bit." I hung up the phone and exited the doors, I saw Clare was getting into Jakes car. My eye's skimmed over the parking lot, my car was the only one left, Drew was long gone. Had they been fighting? Was that why she was crying? It wasn't my business, but I wanted to know more than anything. The only reason I pushed her away was so that she could be happy, happy with someone who would love her and the baby. I couldn't do that for her anymore, all I would see when I looked at her baby was Drew, and the betrayal and hurt she caused me. I faught the urge to call out to her, and walked away. It was best this way.