Those Skimming Stones….Still lie…
Summary: [Manga spoilers for 469 through to 474] Sakura's thoughts after her confrontation with Naruto. [Song Skimming Stones by Sleepthief]
A/N: You can find this song on Youtube, though don't ask me where to get the song, I want to know too. No copyright infringement intended, both parties are separate, I do not own them.
All I want is to reach the horizon
Where these skimming stones go on forever
For as they sink, I sink with them
Just to hold your hand right now
Would be all that I know.
She looked up to the sky, as the sun began its descent, she just wanted to find a hole to crawl into it to die, perhaps then she would be forgiven. She was a horrible person. Yet, she had no choice, she had to do what she did, he would never forgive her, though perhaps he might be liberated from her, forever, the only intention left was to hate her forever. Tears started to rain down, he would not forgive her...He would forever hate her, for what she had done, and rightly so. He had suffered too much for her, because of her.
And I'll take you down
To the depths of my soul…
That happy face of his would never be happy in her direction again. Oh, how could she be this cruel? She sobbed. Yet, looking after both their feelings at the same time…However, she hoped she would not remember it for too much longer, as the trees moved in the wind around her. His angered face, as he could tell she was lying, his voice…She could not stand him being angry at her…She could not forgive herself. She would never forgive herself for what she did. He had every right to hate her until she became another painful distant memory for him.
I'd sink in that bliss, in that oneness
Lord I still don't really know how to love you
the way you love me... I don't feel worthy
and I envy the eyes of those who do.
Lord I don't know, the way you love me…
She gathered up herself in her arms, as her tears still rained down, but she pressed on. She was never more sorrowful in her life. Not even when he left. This was worse; she had torn too many people in it, this time…Worse than that time before. She tried to block out everything that was threatening to move its way to the forefront of her mind…Threatening to make her resolve break down into a shattered piece of glass, however closing her eyes she could only visualise her resolve shattering better. The pieces of glass would shimmer in the sun as they fell down to the ground.
And if I knew it then, somehow I'd remember
that trust, that openness, I will make true decisions
walking straight ahead
Instead of following directions
Out of line to the left or right
in the arms of a lover.
Maybe perhaps, she could have told him straight, though it would have been less successful then what she actually did. He would hate her for the rest of his life. But it was okay…Just as long as he wasn't bound to their promise anymore. He could hate her forever, just as long…Just as long…Sakura let her arms fall to her sides, and she looked ahead, never again would she see him again. His happy smile, his clueless face…There were no more directions she could follow, only this one. Her friends had left her long before. There were no more delusions she could follow. She could no longer stay behind a shield of strangled bonds and thrown down promises. She could not run back, she could not run forward, there was nothing anymore.
In the endless starry night
I've done that all my life
these skimming stones decide…
By a river, time stood still, the waves that would have rolled over the stones near the edge had dulled, the trees had stopped moving their leaves in the stillborn wind, and a blade had been sheathed from it being used. She looked emptily up to the sky, she couldn't blink. She did not want to run away from the tangled web of strangled bonds and promises, which she had somehow caught herself and the people around her in. It was okay…
Just as long…Just as long he was free…She would never see him again, and perhaps it was better that way, it was better she never got the chance to say her apologies, a tear slowly left her eye, and dropped to the sand below her.
If that was all, he could hate her forever.
And all she would become was a distant hated memory for him, with nothing then whispers on the winds that passed by.
And that would be okay. Just as long as he was free. Free from her web of tangled thoughts.
…These skimming stones still lie…