AN: I don't own the incredibly creative webcomic that is Homestuck. This takes place after "Equius: Talk to friend/enemy". I decided to nickname Goatdad "Cornelius". Cornelius, Capricorn, it sounds similar.

Also, all the trolls' lusii seem to be similar to them in some way, so I gave Cornelius the irresponsible mergoat bad grammar. "all up in", "be all like", and "chill" would find their way into Gamzee's vocabulary.

CT: D- - I shouldn't be talking about this

CT: D- - You're the enemy

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

Huh. Well, that was interesting as fuck.

Gamzee Makara sat on the beach, taking a break from the shenanigans that tended to happen in the Land of Tents and Mirth. One of the last bottles of his precious Faygo stood upright in the sand within easy reach.

Equius sure could be a weird motherfucker at times, Gamzee smiled to himself as he took a sip of the fizzy concoction. He scrolled back through the chat log on a whim, reviewing his attempts at ordering the other troll around. One line caught his eye. It had been the first thing that came to mind; the best piece of advice his lusus had ever given him.

The troll sighed, and then noticed his drink was already half gone. That reminded him. He should probably go and check on those imps. Make sure they hadn't eaten all of his pie. The very thought made him frown. He looked up at the ocean, trying to get the motivation to move. But as soon as he did a flood of memories came back, holding him in place.

Cornelius the mergoat lusus was swmming. His two front hooves kicked lightly as his tail strongly pushed him through the water. Aah, it felt so good to be free! To have the whole ocean there for fun and to swim in as much as he wanted. All the sea-grass he could eat. He turned a lazy corkscrew. Yes, this was the—

"Cornelius! Don't lea—bluhblhrglble!" His attention caught, the lusus turned. A young troll flailed in the water, gray arms thrashing and struggling. It had apparently tried to swim to him all the way from shore, but had started to sink when it reached deeper water.

Bleating, Cornelius rushed over and brought the strange troll back to shore. He gently patted its back with a hoof as it coughed up water in favor of air. He waited as its breath slowly became steady. Eventually it sat up and pulled its tangle of black hair away from its face, brushing against horns that resembled a goat's.

Not again Gamzee, Cornelius sighed. Why would you even do that? You're only 4 sweeps old and this is the third time…

The young Gamzee Makara crossed his arms over his shirt, covering a deep purple star sign for Capricorn. "I wanted to get to you." He huffed. "I thought we could play, like Tavros an' Tinkerbull. You're supposed to be teaching me and stuff, but you're always out swimmin'!"

Cornelius frowned as only a mergoat can. Yes, there was plenty that he would have to teach his young charge, but surely that could all wait until later? The most important thing to learn was to be happy, and Gamzee seemed to be doing a fine job with that…

"It's lonely over there in m'hive!" the young troll continued. "We have tons o' fun when you're around, but then I gotta go play by myself when you gotta go away." His black lips huffed a bit, but then he smiled. "I guess that means I'm more happy to see ya though, so I guess it's okay." He finished proudly.

Cornelius looked down at the troll he was supposed to care for. I know it's hard, he communed, but I have to chill in the ocean. My front half may make me look like a land-dweller, but my tail means I'm born to be all up and swimming, Gamzee. I must stay in the sea, but you are a land-dweller, and so the land is your place. He sighed. You also don't have gills, and you can't be breathing underwater. So please, don't even try!

Gamzee, however, had reached his own conclusion while his custodian was complaining. "I know!" He exclaimed, standing up suddenly. "I'll become a sea-dweller!" He puffed out his cheeks and concentrated as hard as he could, trying as best as possible to grow fins and gills. "Then…I can come visit you…" he squeaked out.

No, Gamzee. Spoke his lusus, shaking his head and prodding him with a hoof. Don't. Be going. Near. The ocean.

"But—"

No. He had to keep this young troll safe while he was gone, searching for food or other things. It's downright dangerous. He stared at Gamzee meaningfully as he continued.

For one, the sea-dwellers are a proud and vain group, being all prone to violence and bad fish puns. They won't think twice about using force to keep you in "your rightful place" on land. Cornelius twitched his tail slightly, sending ripples spiraling through the water. That is assuming you don't all go and drown yourself first. Stay on land where I know where to find you. You can't drown in air.

Plus, there's bigger and meaner things than me in the sea. Other lusii aren't as chill as I am. Some are pretty dang scary. Some ain't lusii at all, just your regular sea monsters, preying on anything they can fit in their mouths…

"Bigger than YOU, Cornelius?" Gamzee asked, unbelieving.

Oh yes, his custodian assured him. So don't go near the ocean. I all told you a bunch of times! You could get your gills clogged with trash for—

"Um, Cornelius, I think that's just you…"

The mergoat snorted. Anyway, when I'm out there I can be protecting you from all that.

Gamzee's eyes went wide with wonder. "Do you really?"

Sure! Cornelius replied. Or at least, he meant to, while out enjoying the deep and wide sea. If he saw anything making trouble near Gamzees seashore, it better hope it didn't go close to Gamzees hive. He'd come back in a hurry and do whatever he could to keep the little troll safe.

In fact, the seagoat said proudly, I gotta go right about now, but I'll all up and keep an eye out for trouble, you hear?

Gamzee's face fell. "Oh..you're going?"

Don't worry! Cornelies said. And don't let those stuck-up sea-dwellers get your goat, yeah?

"Er…sure I…guess…but…"

Tell you what, when I come back I'll all give you swimming lessons, a'ight? He called over his shoulder as he turned to leave.

"Uh…yeah! Come back safe!" The mergoat moved away from shore. He'd do his best to watch out for the little guy. And get food. And swim. And have some fun; having fun was always important… He splashed his way through the surf, his tail kicking up one last time before coming down in a wave.

Back on the sand, his young charge sadly watched him leave, hands still raised a bit from shouting goodbyes. Cornelius was far away by now, so he couldn't have seen the look in that trolls eyes, nor the softly mumbled words—"But if you're always away…when will I see you?"

Sweeps later, the same troll sat deep in thought, staring at a different ocean in a strange land, but with the same thoughts. An insistent pinging noise snapped him out of his reverie. It was Trollian's new-message notice.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

GC: G4MZ33? 4R3 YOU TH3R3?

GC: DUD3, 4NSW3R.

GC: YOU B3TT3R NOT B3 SP4C3D OUT 4G41N, 1 SW34R TO GOG.

TC: WhAt?

TC: Oh, HeY, sOrRy.

TC: I sPaCeD oUt.

TC: ThE oCeAn'S a BeAuTiFuL mOtHeRfUcKeR fUlL oF mEmOrIeS, yOu KnOw?

TC: GoTtA bE cArEfUl ThOuGh, ShIt'S dAnGeRoUs.

TC: :o) HoNk.

GC: UUUGGGGHHHHHH

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