Since that damn car peeled away I've been dreaming of his return, hoping that he finally forgets my safety and lets me tag along (no chance in hell for that one), but now he is really here and my dreams are turning into nightmares.

(something that was bound to happen with those damn Winchester boys)

His cold touch shatters my dream world, a place filled with devices that keep him from ever leaving me again, and even in the dead night I know something is off before I see those eyes.

"Dean?"

Those eyes that I know better than any others watch me like I'm a happy meal on legs, and when his lips curl back my worst fears come true.

(flight or fight is dying to kick in but I can't leave him now)

"Oh god, Dean, please tell me this is a dream."

The reality of it all finally sinks in when his superhuman hands pin me to the wall, while I'm trying to figure out if I even want to call for help, and for the first time I see a mix of murderer and love in his eyes.

(something I've seen in another brother but never him)

"I love you, dead or alive, Winchester, do your worst."

As his new fangs hung ready for the kill over my neck, I could not bring myself to even think of the stakes that were hidden under my bed.

(knowing that these hands of mine could never bring themselves to ever hurt him)

"I love you too, Lois, too damn much, it will be the end of you. But I won't let it be me; I will not be the one to kill you."

Before I could blink or think of the fact that the one I love more than this world and the next almost drained me dry he was gone.

The hours of not knowing if he was dead or alive, knowing that he would be ready for that stake to put an end to it all nearly killed me for him but my heart finally settled when I heard his voice.

(always over the phone, and it would be this way from now on)

"I almost killed you, Lois, I will not-"

From the moment those teeth had stared me down I knew that he would use this life and death experience to try and push me away, but no way in hell was I letting that happen.

"Before you dare say those damn worlds to me, Winchester, know that I'll be by your side until I die, and will not be leaving before that, and trust me I could kill if I wanted to. Don't ever think that I could not or would not do it."