My Family and Other Awkward Situations
Ludwig had a habit of waking up earlier than some would deem normal. The sun was just peaking through the window of Ludwig's bedroom that autumn morning in Germany when he woke up. The first thing he noticed was that the light was on, and it definitely hadn't been when he'd fallen to sleep last night. His bleary sleep-numbed brain deemed this 'a potential problem', but he didn't have any desire to actually get up at this point. Generally, he woke up early enough to be on a go-slow in the mornings, and as consequence he was really quite lazy soon after first opening his eyes.
The second thing he noticed were two heavy weights across his chest and legs, and something warm pressing into the side of his neck. That sharpened his mind quite a bit more, but it was probably only Feliciano, who often ended up in his bed when he stayed the night. Ludwig noted that this could be the cause of the switched on light. But still... He didn't remember the Italian nation being at his house the night before.
Letting out a soft groan at being forced to actually move before he'd had a few minutes of laying aimlessly in bed before he had to face the day, Ludwig shuffled over in his bed to twist his neck to regard who he had been sleeping with; he still expected it to be Feliciano. It was as far opposite as you could get; unless Vash had been there and had that been the case Ludwig probably would have screamed, then passed out.
"Gilbert!"
As it was, he just let out an uncharacteristic yelp and rolled off the bed.
"Wassat?"
The albino ex-nation lifted his head from the pillow, opening his bright red eyes and looking at his little brother through the haze of sleep. There was a long pause, which Ludwig found awkward as he'd just woken up in bed with his brother, but Gilbert seemed- perhaps predictably- unbothered.
"Jeez, West, close the curtains! And why do you have your damn light on?" he asked, breaking the silence and burying himself under the covers.
Ludwig rubbed his arm painfully; he'd bashed it when he'd fallen to the floor. Trying to reorder his thoughts, he came up with the most obvious question:
"What are you doing in my room?Never mind that, why are you in my bed?" he asked flatly.
"Curtains, West."
Aware his annoying 'older' brother wasn't likely to reply until he'd done so, Ludwig hauled himself to his feet and dragged the curtains closed.
"And the light, dummkopf."
Ludwig dutifully crossed the room and flicked the light switch, settling the room into semi-darkness that Gilbert apparently found more comfortable.
"Much more awesome..." he said from beneath the bed sheets, before sliding the top of his head out to regard Ludwig. "What were you saying, West?"
Ludwig looked at him blankly for a second. Recovering himself, he replied quickly, "Gilbert, what are you doing in my bed?"
"I was sleeping."
"...That part I figured out on my own. Why are you in my bed?"
"Because..." Gilbert paused for a moment, obviously enjoying his little brother's aggravation. "It's more comfortable than mine."
"Gilbert."
"Fine, fine, because when I got home last night after getting drunk with the Priss I accidently wandered into your room and couldn't be bothered to go find mine," Gilbert replied with a yawn. "Can you shut up, as well? Your loudness is unawesome."
Ludwig settled on pressing the topic of the most surprising piece of information there.
"You convinced Roderich to go drinking with you?"
"Uh-huh, because I'm that awesome."
"How much did you offer him? Or was it blackmail?"
"I said I'd cut all his piano strings if he didn't come."
"Right, now it makes more sense. Why didn't you make Francis or Antonio go with you?"
"Because they were not awesome enough for me yesterday," Prussia scowled. Ludwig translated this to 'they were busy not being with me'.
"And you decided Roderich was?"
Gilbert sent him a dark look that promised hell to pay if Ludwig continued. At risk of having a sulking ex-Nation around the house for the next few months or having his brother's bird relieve himself on Ludwig's boss again, the blonde Nation backtracked.
"Right... So where did you leave Roderich? Tell me you didn't leave him in a jail somewhere. Again."
"Nah, he's over there," Gilbert looked vaguely reminiscent, smirking maliciously, as he jerked his thumb at the floor on the opposite side of the bed.
Ludwig gave him a wary look, and then followed the direction of his thumb. Apparently, the Austrian nation had been awake and listening; Marizelle appeared first, swiftly followed by Roderich's face. Purple eyes met blue ones and there was a second awkward pause, neither nation bold enough (read: as brash as Prussia) to diffuse it. Until Ludwig noticed exactly which bird was nestled into Roderich's hair. He'd been wondering where his brother's pet was.
"Guten Morgen, Ludwig," Roderich said, his face flushed with embarrassment he was trying to hide from his tone and failing quite miserably to.
"Guten Morgen, Roderich," Ludwig echoed, his tone polite and his face straight, though his lips revealed a just-concealed smirk.
"Be quiet," Roderich retorted, picking up on the expression immediately. "I blame that idiot over there for this entirely."
"Just 'cause you can't hold your beer, you Priss," Gilbert said smugly.
"Exactly what does that change? You threaten my instrument, kidnap me and then drag me off to one of the dirtiest places in Berlin and subject me to-"
"Kesesese~" Gilbert interrupted the Austrians rant with his maniacal laughter. Ludwig rolled his eyes.
"I think I'll leave you to it-" he started, but was cut off himself by Roderich's protests at being left with 'a mad man'.
The end result was that Roderich disappeared to use Ludwig's shower, while the latter went to make some breakfast. Gilbert just followed his brother round the kitchen, making useless comments.
"Urgh, do you only ever eat this crap?"
"Gilbert, its whole grain-"
"It's crap Ludwig. And you know, you never make eggs right."
Ludwig sent the albino a glare that clearly meant, 'then make them yourself', and Gilbert let out a snort and sat down, for once silent.
For a while the kitchen stayed quiet, but it was quickly broken by a surprised shriek from upstairs.
Prussia let out another cackle. "That was dear Roddy."
The flow of water from the shower stopped and the sound of hasty footsteps on the stairs met their ears. Roderich emerged at the kitchen doorway, one hand holding a towel around him, the other holding a small black camera.
"Ludwig, why on Earth is there a camera hooked up in your bathroom?"
Another very long awkward silence. This one wasn't punctured by any of the males in the room, as they all underwent a moment of enlightenment, quickly followed by expressions of horror. Then a young woman with long brown hair and a smile appeared behind the dumbstruck Austrian in the doorway.
"Roderich, sweetheart, you really are too observant. I've had that in Ludwig's bathroom for ages and he hadn't noticed, you spoil sport," she said disappointedly, manoeuvring the bright red Austrian away from the doorway.
"Close your mouths, boys," she advised, stealing the camera away from her ex-husbands limp grasp and sliding out a small card that had been inserted into it, pocketing the camera itself quickly.
"Why are you even here, Lizzie? What the hell?"
"I thought I'd check that you and Roderich hadn't ended up in prison. Again."
"How did you know we were drinking?"
Elizaveta looked a little amused. "I got a very drunk phone call asking from Roderich asking to get remarried, and you were cackling in the background."
Ignoring the fact that Roderich looked as though he was about to die from embarrassment, Prussia successfully terminated the awkward silence by doing his aforementioned cackle.
"Kesesese~!"
Austria recovered himself. "Elizaveta, you can't just set up cameras-"
"There isn't anything on it anyway," Hungary cut across him. She'd plugged the memory card into the bulkier camera that seemed permanently at her side, and was gazing intently at the screen as she flicked through it.
"You are so weird. You were so much more awesome when you were still a boy-"
The other item that was always with Elizaveta, namely her frying pan, smacked into the Prussians head with a loud clang.
"Shut up, Gilbert," she said, holding the pan menacingly over Gilberts form; he'd slid to the floor, whining in pain.
Ludwig quietly took the briefly forgotten camera as the pair fought. He decided not to think about what could be on the camera's memory, and hid it inside the cutlery draw.
Gilbert ducked another blow to the head, skidding quickly past his assailant and hiding behind his younger, but more muscular, brother.
"Liz, stop it, you insane bi-!"
Claaaang.
"Sorry, Ludwig, I was trying to hit Prussia-"
"Hungary, could you please just-"
"You are a total witch, you know that Lizzie?"
It was probably very fortunate for all concerned that half a second later the doorbell rang. Roderich set about trying to convince Elizaveta that concussing the albino would only provide temporary satisfaction and was therefore not worth it, and Ludwig dragged his brother away to answer the door.
Releasing his brother when they got to his hallway, for a few seconds after Ludwig had opened his front door the world seemed to stop as he considered how much aggravation this action would probably cause.
"Guten Morgen, Ludwig," Vash said stiffly, arms folded and eyes firmly trained the spot just above Ludwig's gaze, refusing to meet his gaze. From behind him, Lichtenstein peered round to give the German Nation a smile.
"...Hallo, Vash. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Ludwig replied cautiously. It was a rare event, after all, that he would see the Swiss and even rarer his beloved little sister.
"Lilli wanted to visit Elizaveta," Vash replied, stepping slightly sideways to reveal his sister. "We stopped at her house, but she wasn't there, then we came here."
Ludwig didn't miss slight, upset-looking frown that Lilli's face creased into as Vash said this and was reminded that it was unlikely for someone looking for Elizaveta would go straight from her house to his. They'd have gone to Roderich's first.
"Yes, she's here," Ludwig replied, covering his slight hesitation and stepping out the doorway.
Vash walked in, his sister on his heels, casting a wary look around the house. Ludwig wasn't sure what he was afraid of.
"Lilli!" Gilbert said enthusiastically, leaping away from where he'd been shouting insults through the door he was holding shut, leaving a pot plant to keep it closed and cackling madly at Elizaveta's attempts to get through, safe in the knowledge the woman probably wouldn't break Ludwig's door. Probably.
"Hey Gilbert," Lichtenstein replied with a smile, blushing lightly as she was caught in a hug.
Vash grabbed a fistful of white hair and dragged the Prussian away; Ludwig did not bother getting involved. Gilbert should know better.
"Vash, you trigger-happy psycho, get the fuck off-"
Releasing Gilbert, Vash effortlessly hit him with the same hand, sending him straight into Elizaveta who'd managed to get the door open. Letting out a very manly shriek, Gilbert darted away, not managing to avoid a second whack, and skirted past her, grabbing a frantically protesting Roderich who'd been trying to back further into the kitchen. When Elizaveta tried to get to him a second time, the albino shoved Roderich into her, the latter pushing her ex-husband away with a quick apology, then darting after the Prussian and leaving Roderich to crash straight into Vash. Both of them tumbled to the floor.
"..."
Elizaveta let out a squeak, desire to remove Gilbert's ability to have children fading in the wake of the opportunity for easy photo-editing. Camera appearing in hand, she snapped up a few shots of an embarrassed, stuttering Roderich- who was still garbed only in a towel- on top of a wide-eyed Vash before both men leapt away from each other, Roderich disappearing from the room with incredible speed. Pocketing her camera again, Elizaveta let out a disappointed huff, before smiling affectionately at Lilli.
"Hello Lilli, I haven't seen you in a while," she said as if she hadn't just acquired a month's worth of blackmail material. A trait worth having, Ludwig considered as he sank back into his seat in the kitchen, acknowledging that the lack of a back door probably meant Gilbert was no longer anywhere in the vicinity.
Lilli smiled sweetly, though her eyes were a little worried as she looked at her brother who appeared to have gone into a comatose state. "I thought so- you don't mind us visiting do you?" she asked quickly, looking between Ludwig and Elizaveta.
"Not at all," Ludwig replied, massaging his temples. He only wished it wouldn't coincide with Roderich and Prussia also being in the building, or anywhere within a hundred mile radius.
The girl looked relieved and started to say something when she was interrupted by a very loud crash.
"...EntschuldigenSie mich," Ludwig said evenly, before he stormed out of the room and up the stairs to his bedroom. "GILBERT!"
"West, how'd you even know it was me? I left the house! That's just creepy," Gilbert complained from the rumble he was buried beneath. Ludwig gave the entirely too smug looking Roderich- or the part of Roderich's face that he could see through the gaping hole in his roof- a glare before he set about extracting his brother from the mess.
"And it's Roddy's fault, he's such a-"
"If you finish that sentence, Preußen..." Roderich snapped as he dropped through the whole in the roof; rather ungracefully,
"You'll do what, Roddy?"
"Both of you be quiet," Ludwig snapped. "Roderich, I would expect better, and Gilbert, if you destroy any part of my house again I'll knock the Bierkaese out of you."
There was a brief pause. "I should have let you have more sleep this morning, West."
"Gilbert, you are the most aggravating creature that I've ever had this misfortune to spend several hundred years with-"
"Aw, Roddy, you flatter the awesome me."
Ludwig let out an irate groan then grabbed his brother by the collar and dragged him out of the room, Roderich in tow.
"What happened?" Elizaveta asked in a calm tone, she and the other two in the room looking up as Ludwig dropped Roderich and Gilbert into their respective chairs, both looking slightly embarrassed and covered in brick dust.
"Gilbert broke my roof."
"It's not my fault that you're builders are crap, West. Your roof couldn't stand my awe-"
"It was one of my people that built this house."
An awkward pause as Gilbert looked between Vash, the door and the window as he wondered which exit would get him away faster, and everyone else looked at him. Lilli broke the silence, touching her brother's arm gently. "Maybe we should go to the World Meeting," she suggested softly. "It starts in a few hours, and we need to get all the way to Spain's house..."
"Good idea," Elizaveta said instantly, grabbing Gilbert and dragging him out of the room; she might fight with him, but that didn't mean she wanted him brutally slaughtered by an insulted Swiss.
Vash seemed to toy with the idea of producing the gun he undoubtedly had stashed somewhere on his person, but a quick glance at Lilli softened his temperament and he let himself be guided out of the kitchen.
Ludwig and Roderich looked at each other for a moment. "You have the choice of paying for my roof or finding a way to make Gilbert do it," Ludwig said conversationally, smiling slightly as Roderich groaned.
"That's hardly fair, it's not my fault he decided that scaling a drainpipe was a good idea. Or that Vash can't build roofs properly..."
"I heard that,Österreich." Roderich paled slightly, and quickly left the kitchen.
After a few seconds, Ludwig heard the sound of laughter and someone point out that the Austrian should probably get dressed before they left. A full smile- one rarely seen on the German's face- appeared, Ludwig satisfied that no-one would see his momentary lapse of discipline and sanity. As destructive, argumentative and awkward his family's relationships where he had to admit he wouldn't trade them for the rest of the world.
(Gilbert was still going to pay for the roof.)