What happens when Jo has a moment of doubt?

Not bloody again. It was her night off and she'd blown off drinks with the other residents to come home hoping for some quiet time with Alex but had instead come home to an empty loft.

Tossing her bag on the couch she plugged in her long-dead phone before hopping in the shower. The hot water was welcome after a long shift but she couldn't help but get frustrated that Alex wasn't around to join her in the shower. She'd been looking forward to this all day. Granted they hadn't spoken about him being home this evening but she knew he'd left the hospital a few hours before her so she'd hoped she'd find him at home.

Stepping out of the shower and into her pyjamas, she stuck some leftovers in the microwave before checking her phone to find no missed calls or texts. Great. So he hadn't even remembered that it was her night off. A bit of her felt ridiculous for even feeling this way. She knew he was probably at Meredith's place and she didn't for a second think that he was losing interest or that he was having an affair with Meredith but she couldn't help being annoyed that Meredith got him tonight despite it being her only night off that week.

Sighing she reminded herself that they'd had sex less than 24 hours ago. Granted it was a quickie in an on-call room but she couldn't really complain that he wasn't attentive or available. Grumbling to herself she retrieved the leftover pasta before flopping on their bed and booting up her Netflix.

Three episodes later she finally switched it off - looked like she'd be sleeping in an empty bed tonight. She might as well have stayed at the hospital and gone over some work. She knew how much Meredith meant to Alex and truth be told a bit of her was a little jealous that Alex had a person when hers had left. Stephanie had been her one constant in this hospital and now she was gone. And there was hardly any room in Alex and Meredith's friendship for her so it just meant she felt increasingly left out. She never grudged him his friendship with Meredith and she was fond of her which meant that for the most part she was happy for him but occasionally, like right now, it sucked. Placing her laptop on the floor next to the bed she got up to brush her teeth when she heard the key turning softly in the lock.

Rolling her eyes she slammed the bathroom door behind her just as he was entering. She knew she was being petty but she couldn't help it. When she finally emerged to find him on his phone on the dining table, it just annoyed her even more. The sooner she went to bed the sooner she'd stop feeling irritable and snappy and the lower the chances that she'd say something mean and unnecessary. She mumbled a quick hello without looking up as she headed straight for the bed, climbing in and turning away from him.

Putting his phone down he looked up at her, brow furrowed. What had he done now?

"Hey babe, good day?" he said softly, hoping that whatever it was wasn't too bad. He wasn't in any mood to fight with her.

"Fine, I guess. Yours?"

She was never this terse. But he also knew that trying to prise it out of her was guaranteed to fail.

"Good, took Bailey and Zola to the theatre so Meredith could have the evening off."

No response. He sighed. Was he supposed to have been home? He couldn't remember making plans with her.

Quickly changing and brushing he slipped into bed and lit a candle on his bedside before hitting the lights.

"Jo? What's up?"

"Nothing, I have a long day tomorrow so I'm going to bed."

He sighed. She was facing away from him and the last thing he wanted was to go to bed in the middle of a fight he didn't begin to understand.

Scooting over to her side he raised himself and tentatively placed a hand on her waist and a soft kiss on her temple. She stiffened but didn't say anything or respond.

"Jo, did I do something? Did something happen? Are you okay? Please don't ignore me."

She sighed, his words cutting through her bad mood to remind her just how wonderful he was. She was still grumpy but it was now tinged with guilt because she knew she was being unfair.

Rolling over she placed a hand on his cheek, "I'm sorry I'm just in a bad mood I'll be okay tomorrow can we just sleep please?"

Dropping his head so their foreheads were touching, "Look, I have no idea what happened but if it was me please just tell me? Is there anything I can do?"

God she knew her original plan of going straight to bed was not going to work. She looked up at him and relented. "Alex, it's not you. I mean, it's not your fault. It's you. Okay this isn't making much sense I'm sorry. I just really wanted to hang out with you today and I should have said something but I didn't and I didn't realise you wouldn't be home and I just spent the evening alone and now it's late and I'm tired and it's not your fault but I'm grumpy anyway. Let's just sleep, I'll be okay tomorrow. Or whenever you next have time for me. God, that was bitchy. I'm sorry this is why it's probably best if we just sleep."

Watching her intently the whole time, he grimaced slightly at the last bit. Eyes crinkling he stroked her hair with one hand. "Jo, I'm sorry. Why didn't you say something? I could have taken them some other time or checked if Amelia or Maggie were around..."

Feeling stupid Jo looked away from him. She knew he had no reason to apologise. Taking a deep breath she decided to suck it up and stop being a hormonal teenager.

"I know. I know I should have said something earlier or called or something. And God please don't apologise for taking those kids out, I know how much they mean to you. I'm just being difficult, I'm sorry, I guess I just..."

A slow smile crept across his face as he felt her relax. Okay good, this wasn't him. And she didn't seem too mad, just a bit snappy. This he could work with.

Cutting her off mid-ramble he slid his hand down from her forehead till it was stroking her cheek and his thumb was caressing her lips. "I'm here now."

Bending down to kiss her nose and then her cheek, he slid his hand down from her lips, caressing her neck before running his open palm down her front, firmly but not roughly, over her t shirt, feeling her soft breast through the cotton, continuing south across her abdomen and over her hip bone and settling on the side of her right butt cheek. Her breathing had deepened as she stared up at him silently, her eyes blazing and her desire evident.

Noticing the change in her and thanking the forces that be he inhaled deeply, the scent of her mingling with the scent of the candle and heightening his arousal.

"I'm here now and there's nowhere I'd rather be," he continued, shifting his weight so he was over her, holding up his torso with his left arm and his stiffening cock pressing into her groin.

"Don't for a second imagine that there is anywhere I'd rather be than here", he whispered, simultaneously sliding his fingers into her panty and running his hand gently over her unshaved mound.

"Don't you dare suggest that you aren't constantly on my mind, that loving you isn't constantly on my mind, that I'm not constantly fantasizing about you", he continued, bending down to kiss her while slipping a single finger into her slit and stroking it up and down gently.

Eyes closed Jo had reached around to run her hands over his back, her lips parted and back arched. He was a magician. On his knees straddling her he made short of work of her pyjamas and underwear before stripping off his own t-shirt and boxers and pulling the blanket over them.

Kissing down her front he paused at her breasts, nibbling, pinching and squeezing gently all the while one hand worked her quickly-dampening nether regions. Rubbing his evening shadow across her front as she gasped, he inserted another finger into her. Lifting her legs to curl around him she lifted her pelvis, desperate for more friction. Arching her back as he worked her breasts she mumbled his name incoherently.

As he sped up and began kissing her more urgently, she opened her eyes and lifted his head so he was looking straight at her.

"I love you" she said, softly but clearly. Eyes crinkling with happiness he kissed her, softly first and then deeper. As air became a problem he lifted his head and sliding down, he set to work eating her out. One finger back inside her, he began licking her gently, just the way he knew she liked. She was soaked by this point and her moan had become a constant hum. Her breathing was getting shallower and he was rock hard himself. Speeding up as she began shaking, he could see she was close before she stopped him with a hand on the back of his head. Stilling, he gazed up at her questioningly.

"Not like this, not without you."

If possible his cock became even harder. Closing his eyes for a second and breathing deeply to compose himself, he got to his knees and lifted her, turning her until she was on her knees and facing the mirror on the dressing table. The candle was just enough light to see by and he got on his knees behind her, looking into her eyes as they both faced the mirror. Eyes not leaving hers he reached around to caress a breast with his left hand while his right hand slipped back into her vagina but this time not just one but two fingers. As her eyes fluttered shut he stilled his minstrations and growled softly "no, Jo, I need you to look at me".

Forcing her eyes open she reached a hand behind her to cup the back of his head while the other one went behind her and around his neck. Leaning against him for support she whispered "enough please I've waited enough".

He didn't need to be told twice. Angling his back he gripped her hips as he slid into her from behind, never once taking his eyes off hers in the mirror. Moving slowly he wrapped his arms around her torso and held her tight as he sped up, trying to prolong it as much as possible but eventually speeding up until he was jackhammering into her from behind. Struggling to keep her eyes open she eventually gave up and tipped her head back onto his shoulder, turning to kiss him and holding on for dear life. Despite the cold they were both covered in a fine sheen of sweat as he slipped a finger back into her slit and carressed her g-spot, knowing she typically needed clitoral stimulation to have a strong orgasm.

As if on cue, their bodies tensed simultaneously and she erupted first, her spasms and moans setting him off too. Holding her tight he buried his head in her neck as wave after wave of pleasure broke over them.

Finally stilling, he loosened his arms and kissed her shoulder lightly. Still holding her he slid out gently and grabbed a few tissues, cleaning them both off before collapsing exhausted onto the mattress.

Turning to blow out the candle he turned back and tried to turn her around so he could be the big spoon but she smiled and prodded him instead. They both loved being little spoon but the default was that Alex usually spooned Jo. Smiling broadly he turned around, reaching behind him to pull her arm over his waist.

"Jo, please just talk to me?"

"Alex, this wasn't about you. You're an amazingly attentive boyfriend. I was just missing you and tired and a bit grumpy. You've never let me feel neglected, and I promise I'll tell you if that happens."

Smiling as she hugged him tighter, he interlaced his fingers with hers as they drifted off to sleep.