A/N: Written for a springtime competition run by The Planet's Chosen on Deviantart. Visit them at theplanetschosen . deviantart . com (With the spaces removed, of course) to see other entries in the competition and to enjoy some excellent fanart for the silver haired bishies of FFVII!
Flowers of Spring
Kadaj spent much of his time in Aerith's flowers. He liked to lay among them, letting them surround and cover him, hiding him from the view of the world. He felt safe under them, staring upwards at the sun through the wide green leaves, studying the veins inside them.
Yazoo joined him sometimes, sitting nearby and gazing outwards emptily, taking deep, slow breaths of the warm air. Aerith was often nearby. Kadaj could hear her humming to herself as she tended to the flowers that did not need any tending. Whether her attention was what kept the flower garden perfect and always-green Kadaj didn't know, and didn't much care. He didn't mind her presence. Which was a lucky thing, since she was almost always there. Unless she had vanished into conference with her goddess, or was spending time in Zack's part of the lifestream.
Kadaj and his brothers often went to visit Zack too, and played wildly in the summertime lakes and fields that inhabited his pieces of the afterlife. It was Loz's favorite place to relax. They all three played together, and Zack liked to join them as well. They wrestled, splashed, swam, and all-together went wild in the summer heat. They always ended up panting and smiling on the porch of his little house.
Yazoo liked to visit Sephiroth, in the winter of the lifestream. He would spend hours sequestered in the quiet snowy woods, exchanging quiet solemn words with their original. Kadaj rarely went with him. Despite that he knew the real Sephiroth was not interested in harming him, he had too many bad memories, and too much fear. Still, he accompanied Yazoo now and then, as did Loz, for brief snowball fights that sometimes made a soft smile appear on their original's face.
Angeal's realm was locked in eternal fall—an autumnal wonderland, filled with apples and falling leaves. All three of them liked it there, but they rarely played. Serious Angeal surely wouldn't have minded, but when they were there they were working harder to cheer him up. They all desperately wanted him to be happy. Just as Sephiroth had before.
It was only in spring—in Aerith's garden—that they were never all three together. Though Kadaj would come there, and Yazoo would follow, Loz always hovered on the edges. He was never quite involved. And he never set foot in among the flowers. He waited, patiently or impatiently, for his brothers to be finished. Sometimes Yazoo would hear one too many sighs drifting from the edges of spring, and stand up to walk off. He never bothered telling Kadaj why he was going. They both knew.
Kadaj heard another sigh drift across the still air, past newly flowering trees. He huffed out a breath of his own, watching it shift the flowers above his head. Yazoo rose slowly from nearby, stooping as he passed to flick the flower above Kadaj, making a little pollen drop into his face. Kadaj hissed mildly at him before settling again, hearing the age-old argument behind him.
"You could just come join us," Yazoo drawled as he left Aerith's safe garden.
"Let's just go see Sephiroth for a while," Loz muttered. "Kadaj is busy, so you won't have to worry about him."
"Fine," Yazoo huffed, his voice growing softer as he walked away from the garden with Loz. "But only because I already wanted to see him."
"Kadaj?" Aerith's voice was soft and sweet as she approached, sitting beside him neatly. The flowers seemed to shift out of her way so she didn't have to crush any. "I'm sorry to disturb you. I have a question."
"I have an answer," Kadaj murmured sleepily in reply, closing his eyes lightly, enjoying the warmth her presence always brought to the world around him.
"Why won't Loz ever come to see me?" Aerith asked with a note of sadness in her gentle voice. "He doesn't seem to mind when I'm in Zack's cabin with you all."
"It's not you," Kadaj sighed. "It's the flowers. He hates 'em."
"He... Hates flowers," Aerith said slowly and blandly, her voice blank and disbelieving.
"Bad associations," Kadaj muttered.
"Dare I ask?" Aerith asked softly, reaching out to gently brush a flower petal off of Kadaj's chest.
"It was a long time ago," Kadaj said.
"But it still matters," Aerith replied.
The youngest remnant didn't bother telling her the story out loud. He just closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. He knew she would recognize the assent. Her fingertips rested gently on his forehead, and he let himself remember.
Loz was barely ten years old the day he and his brothers escaped the labs together. They were all so small, they'd almost entirely slipped past the guards without being one guard that found them they had killed—messily and fiercely. It had taken all three of them. Kadaj skipped over the escape. Aerith didn't need to see it.
He remembered vividly what they saw when they opened that last door to the outside. He remembered clinging to the scrub tops Yazoo and Loz were wearing as the door opened to a light that was blindingly bright. Loz was leading them, stepping quickly out of the door, drawing Yazoo and Kadaj along. Kadaj had barely been six years old, small and a little sickly at that age, especially compared to Loz's robustness and Yazoo's smooth competence, even at the tender age of eight.
"We gotta keep moving," Loz said softly, shutting the door firmly behind them and then yanking on the handle until it snapped off.
"I'm tired," Kadaj remembered himself whining, his voice low and soft.
"I'll carry you," Loz replied blankly, lifting him into his arms swiftly. He was already impossibly strong for someone so young. "Yazoo, you gotta lead. I'm trusting you."
Yazoo hadn't said anything. He'd just turned his clever eyes to the world, grabbed Loz's arm, and drawn them both towards the rising sun.
The day was warm, and all around them noises started to awaken as the sun lifted higher and higher. It was green, colorful, and, in retrospect, beautiful. At the time all three of them had been terribly frightened by it. Kadaj could remember how Loz's arm shook around him, and how Yazoo jumped in fear at every new and unexpected bird call. He'd clung tightly to his stronger brother, hiding in his arms, his body still trembling with exhaustion from struggling against the guard who had almost caught them.
He had been honestly tired, not just lazy. There were huge gaps in his memory of the transit. Some of the details had been worn away by time and the pain that he'd gone through since. Others had been lost even at the time as he drifted into and out of sleep in Loz's hold. There were brief impressions of the world around them—the blossoming young trees, and the glimpses of creatures that were no more dangerous than a breeze, and still made Yazoo and Loz stiffen aggressively, just in case.
He was awake when Yazoo lead them to the edge of a field of flowers. The three of them paused a moment, struck by the sight. It was all pastels—all gentle, lovely colors. To their young, enhanced senses, the smell had been almost overpowering, despite how nice it was. Loz had hesitated when Yazoo turned to him, waiting for directions. Yazoo's young face wasn't blank yet, in Kadaj's memory. It hadn't been wiped clean by years of torture and stress. Kadaj fondly remembered the soft, delicate look his concern had taken.
Loz had considered a long while, looking between the dense dark forest to their left and the beautiful field of flowers. Then he'd decided, and with a nod and a little smile, had stepped into the flowers. Kadaj wriggled until Loz set him down, and ran his fingers lightly over the petals in awe. Even Yazoo had started smiling, as jaded as he already was.
Then there was a brief, sharp shot. Flowers ahead of them turned red, coated suddenly in thick splatters of blood. Yazoo's smile vanished in shock as his ugly sterile scrub top darkened with blood from his shoulder. Loz turned in disbelief and horror to face the guards moving towards them. Kadaj lurched forward on instinct as Yazoo staggered and fell, trying to slow his brother's fall, and ending up pinned beneath his chest.
He struggled against his brother's weight. He could vaguely remember screaming something, but what he was screaming eluded him. He could hear Yazoo gasping for breath, choking and coughing as his blood soaked Kadaj. Loz screamed in pure rage as he ran forward, facing the heavily armed guards bare handed and alone.
Kadaj couldn't get free. He was too tired and too small. Yazoo was too heavy. Loz took down the first guard, and was instantly beaten in the head by the butt of the next guard's gun. He fell to his knees. The third guard kicked him to the ground. Kadaj watched him be beaten senseless, fighting against his own weakness, screaming for his brothers. He was losing his breath. Yazoo's weight was crushing it out of him, combined with the choking tears. As his vision greyed out, he watched one of the guards split off, approaching with a quick, relaxed stride.
When he next woke up, it was in a room all alone. He was on his feet in no time, scrambling up to the tiny window. Through it, he could barely see Loz, bruised and battered, sitting in the center of the next cell over, crying silently to himself. Kadaj couldn't get Loz to respond, no matter how much he called to him. It took weeks before they were allowed to be together again—another week before Yazoo was returned to them.
It took much much longer for Loz to recover himself—to start smiling that dopy smile and laughing again. But he never talked of escape. And when they finally left the labs, with Jenova's blessing, every sight of flowers had prompted nothing but rage and disgust from their otherwise sweet, gentle brother.
"Thank you," Aerith whispered, her hand sliding over Kadaj's face, brushing away the tears he hadn't realized he was crying and ending their shared memory. "I understand."
"It's not that he doesn't like you-" Kadaj added quietly and unnecessarily.
"Don't fret," Aerith chided gently. "Bring him the next time you come. I'll fix this."
She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, and petted his cheek once more. Then she stepped away quietly, leaving him to rest in the flowers. He didn't stay long. He escaped to his brothers, joining them in Sephiroth's winter land. He didn't bother explaining what had happened. He just crawled up Loz and settled against him, in a hug that left his feet dangling off the ground. Yazoo chuckled at their closeness and excused himself from Sephiroth's conversation, walking over to join them, rubbing Kadaj's back.
"You okay,Tenshi?" Loz asked softly, tilting his head to nuzzle against his littlest brother.
"Yeah," Kadaj whispered. "Just... Sorry."
"For what?" Yazoo asked mildly. "Dawdling in the flowerbeds?"
"For not being able to stop it," Kadaj whispered. "All those years ago. When we ran. I should have been able to help."
There was a momentary pause, then Loz's arms closed more tightly around him, and Yazoo drew closer to settle against both of their sides.
"You were only a kid," Loz replied softly. "I should have been patient. Waited till we were stronger."
"It wasn't your fault, Kadaj," Yazoo agreed gently.
"Come with me to see Aerith next time." Kadaj whispered. "Even though you hate the flowers. Just for a little while."
Loz sighed into his hair. Kadaj knew he was being bossy and demanding. He just didn't know how else to get his brother to go where he was needed.
"Okay," Loz replied gently. "For you."
"I promise not to get shot," Yazoo purred, with a distinctly amused dark note in his voice.
Loz gave a suspicious sniffle, and the slender remnant instantly wrapped his arms around both brothers.
"Don't cry," Yazoo commanded as he held them close.
Sephiroth walked deeper into his woods, leaving the boys in peace. The snow was falling softly and silently around them, deadening the sounds of three brothers whispering affection and apology to one another for times that were long past.
When Loz stepped into Aerith's domain with his brothers, he was bracing himself against terrible memories of trauma. What he found instead was a neatly mown lawn with sweet seedlings sprouting here and there. The grass was covered in a dotting of colorful eggs. Aerith stood in the middle, beaming, with her arms outstretched in welcome. She looked like the rising sun, glowing with glee. Kadaj was relieved to spy her flowers further in the distance. It was more that she'd changed the welcome matt than changed the entire landscape of her spring-time world.
"What's going on here?" Loz asked, a faint, and slightly concerned grin crossing his lips.
"Easter egg hunt," Aerith proclaimed happily. "Whoever comes back with more eggs when you're done gets the first piece of apple pie!"
Kadaj shifted his hand down to grip Loz's hand tightly, and felt him squeeze back. Yazoo stepped up behind them, sliding his hands lightly over their backs in warm comfort.
"What do you say, brother?" Yazoo purred softly. "Think you can beat me in this game?"
"Heh," Loz whispered. "I think I've got you way beat."
"As if," Kadaj scoffed. "Neither of you stands a chance against me."
Aerith didn't have to goad them any further. The three of them were off. She smiled warmly as she watched the brothers tussle over colorful eggs, arguing and bickering as though nothing was wrong, and sorely wished that she could have saved them all those years ago.
