Casey POV
"Too late, it's done" he said. And that was it. My whole world came crashing down around me, as I watched him walking away. I didn't know what to do, Cappie was, no is, everything to me. If he had lavaliered me earlier I would have had no problem accepting. But I have to go to Washington, I can't give up everything I've worked so hard for. It's my future. But without Cappie I feel so lost, so empty. He always believed in me and wanted the best for me, so why is it so hard for him to accept that I'm leaving to fulfil that? How dare he accuse me of leaving him behind, when I have been trying to convince him since we got back together that I want to move forward with him. He said that I gave up on us but the truth is, I'll never give up on him. I love him more than anything, I just wish he would realise that and see that he deserves so much more than he gives himself credit before. But I guess that doesn't matter anymore. I haven't spoken to Cap since Spring Break. I've tried to put on this big act that I'm fine, but I know that Ashleigh and Rusty see right through it. Ash is so excited about her new job and Rusty is so happy with Dana that I don't want to drag them down into my pit of depression. They deserve to be happy. I know it's hard on Rusty though. Cappie is more than Rusty's big brother in a fraternity, they're best friends and I know he doesn't want me to think he would pick Cappie over me. So I don't ask him about his nights out with the brothers, or about his parties at KT. I don't want to hear that the love of my life is doing fine without me.
So here I am, on graduation day. The end of college and the beginning of my education in the real world. I should be thrilled that this day has finally come, and that I'm going to one of the most prestigious law courses in the country. But I can't, because the day isn't complete. It's not how I pictured it. In my head I saw Cappie and I making fun of each other in our goofy blue robes. Him and Evan would be side by side, and my parents and Rusty would be there saying how proud they were of me. Unfortunately my life never seems to go to plan. My parents decided that a trip to London was more important than my college graduation, so they aren't here. I'm sure it'll be a different story when it's Rusty's turn, but I'm used to it. Evan and I are friends which is great, but him and Rebecca are so wrapped up in each other that no one wants to burst the bubble. Rusty and Dale are here which is also great, because without Rusty I don't know what I'd do. And Ashleigh is here of course, she always is. No sign of Cappie; it's not a surprise but it still hurts. He knew what this day meant to me.
Cappie POV
Walking down that pier, away from her, is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. I was so sure that she'd love it. I've been waiting to lavaliere her since Freshman year. And after all that time I had her back, with no Evan or Maxi pad or some other douche to get in the way. We were together; and she said no. She was leaving. A part of me always knew she would, I always knew she was better than I could ever be. But like an idiot, I still fell for her, so deep that I can't do anything without thinking about her. Everything in my life feels like nothing without her there with me. Why does she have to be so goddamn driven, and focused on her future? I could no nothing in life, have nothing in life, and it wouldn't matter if I had her with me. But obviously I'm not enough for her. I don't think I've ever felt so alone. Beaver's great but I can't talk to him about this stuff; Rusty's my best friend but I can't look at him without thinking about her; Evan is more of a stuck up dick than ever so that officially leaves me with no one.
So here I am, on graduation day. She can't see me, sat at the back. I don't want her to know that I still care, that I still lo…no, I can't think it. Because if I think it I'll act on it, and do what I've been wanting to do since Spring Break. I'll take her in my arms and kiss her and let her know that she means everything to me, and that I'm an idiot for letting her think that we're finished. Because we'll never be done, as long as there is breath in my body I'll want Casey Cartwright. But I can't do that, because it'll make no difference. She's leaving and I'm staying, and that's all there is to it.
"Hey, Cap?" I looked up and was surprised to see that the ceremony was over. My little brother was staring down at me, evidently confused.
"Hey buddy. How are you?"
"I'm…er…great. What are you doing here? I didn't think you were gonna show after everything…"
"Actually I was just here to tell you that I'm leaving on a road trip in the morning, so won't see you until next semester." Not entirely true but what the kid didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
" You're leaving? Look, I know it's not my place but…you and my sister haven't spoken in weeks and I just think -"
" Spitter, I am not gonna talk about this with you."
" But Cap, she is going to Washington in a couple months. By the time you get back from this road trip, she'll be gone! I know that it's hard, but you will regret not saying goodbye. Trust me, this is your last chance."
" Rusty, she is the one leaving forever. Not me. She abandoned me. I'm not gonna get into this with you, alright?"
" Cap, please. After everything the two of you have been through together, you owe it to her. Maybe it'll give you some closure." I hate to admit it, but young Cartwright has a point. Damn him. I guess it wouldn't hurt to say goodbye. It'll be hard but at least we'd be on good terms. I don't want her last memory of me to be me walking away from her.
Casey POV
Everyone's headed out to the graduation party, but I'm not in the party mood. I feel like such a loser but oh well, I'm sure they'll survive without me. I've decided to dress up anyway though, and meet Rusty for a drink. Although my parents couldn't make it, they tried to buy my affection with a cheque. I'm not one to complain, so my outfit is thanks to them. I needed to shop anyway, not many of my old clothes fit. Since the break up, I haven't had much of an appetite. As a teenager I had a problem with food, thinking that if I were skinnier or prettier then my parents would love me more. Silly me. But I guess that when Cappie pushed me away I had a similar thought, so began skipping meals. Rusty was the only one who noticed my problem when we were younger, and when he saw the pattern repeating he helped me get back on track. I'm not proud of it, but shedding a few pounds has made me a lot more confident in myself. Rusty promised he'd never tell Cappie. I never told him about that part of my childhood out of shame, and I didn't want him to know that he'd caused me so much pain. The dress I bought is perfect for my new, more svelte figure. It hugs all the right places and is the right length to be classy yet sexy. It's a shimmery black material. Cappie always did say that black made my green eyes pop…but obviously that's not why I bought this. On my way to the bar I noticed a group of guys opposite me. They looked too old to be in college, so were probably just here visiting me. When they spotted me they wolf whistled and leered, but I guessed that they'd probably been to a pre-party or something. I saw Rusty at the bar, and went over to hug him.
"Case! Just in time," he said as the waiter brought over my usual lemon drop, "to my big sis, who is an official CRU alum!"
" Cheers! Thanks Rusty. I know I wasn't always the best big sis when we were growing up, but I am so glad that I have you now. You have no idea how much you mean to me, and I'm gonna miss you so much when I'm in Washington." I could feel myself choking up, so pulled him into a bear hug before I could cry.
" Thanks Case, that means a lot. The Cartwright reputation is in good hands with me, trust me." He smiled, and I thought about just how much he had changed. Since he joined Kappa Tau he had become a fun, sweet, confident young man. I used to be embarrassed to be related to the science geek, but now I'm proud and the only thing I'm embarrassed about is the way I treated him.
" Earth to Casey!" Rusty shouted. I'd obviously gotten carried away by my thoughts.
" Oh, sorry! What was that?"
" Well I was just wondering whether you'd mind if I head out early? Dana and I were gonna go to the movies and I'm running late…"
" Of course, we have plenty of time to see each other this week. Have fun and be safe!" I laughed as he cringed at my comment. We hugged one last time and then he left. So I decided that, as I had just graduated, I would treat myself to a drink. By my third lemon drop, the group of guys I had spotted earlier were on bar stools beside me. The leader of the group decided to try his luck on me.
" Hey beautiful, I see you're drinking you're sorrows over here. How about we head out some place quiet and talk all about those troubles…" From the way he was raking his eyes over my body, I could tell that he was talking shit.
" Sweet, but if I wanted to be drooled over, I'd go to the pound." His friends laughed at that, but I decided that it was time to leave. The cold night air felt good. I had felt a little dizzy from the alcohol and musty atmosphere. I started walking back to ZBZ, but didn't get very far when I heard them behind me.
" Hey! How about that drink?" he called. He was drunk, and so were his friends, but I was beginning to get a little scared. It was getting dark and I had a long way to go to get back to the house. I kept walking straight, hoping that they'd get bored. Unfortunately, that made the 'game' more fun for them. I heard a couple run up behind me, and suddenly I was being grabbed by strong hands.
" Get off me you perves! Leave me alone!" I struggled but their vice like grip was too much for me.
" Beautiful, I don't think you quite understand." His voice was patronising and threatening at the same time. "You are gonna come with us, and do as we say."
" Or what?" I spat, desperately trying to think of a way out of this. I didn't get an answer. Instead one of the thugs swung his fist until it met my face, making me cry out in pain and shock. Forceful hands pushed me up against the wall of a nearby alley while I struggled in vain. They knocked my purse out of my hands and began to drag me away. I tried to cry out again but was stopped by a blow to my stomach. Soon all four of them were lashing out, kicking and punching me until I felt I couldn't breathe. Whilst I lay on the floor trying to recover, the leader muttered to the others. I couldn't hear, but when I looked up I saw that I was alone with him. From the ground he seemed much bigger, and more menacing than he had earlier. I had quickly sobered up. He, however, seemed more drunk and ready for violence than before.
" Please, I don't know who you are and I promise not to tell anyone about this. Please, just leave me alone. Let me go" I begged. Tears were pouring down my face as my injuries coupled with my desperation became too much to bear.
" What's a girl like you doing out at night, dressed like that, if she doesn't want to make a friend? Really, you were asking for it. For a smart girl you sure are pretty dumb" he smirked, at the same time trying to undo my dress.
" Please, I'm begging you, don't do this. Let me go!" I cried, but all in vain. I was too weak to stop him. He had pulled me up so I was standing, shaking from the cold night air. He had ripped my dress so that the top half hung in shreds by my hips, leaving me exposed in my bra. He stared at me with desire, and in that moment I don't think I've ever hated anyone more. He walked forward and pushed me hard against the wall, so that my head crashed against the brick. I cried as he kissed me, bruising my lips. I tried to fight and push him away, but his bulk was as solid as the wall I was trapped against. I resigned myself to my fate, and tried to think of Cappie, tried to pretend that it was his hands against me, his lips and body.
Suddenly, his body was thrown off me, and being pummelled by a group of guys. I didn't dare look up, fearing that it was his thuggish friends trying to take me as their own prize. I felt gentle hands pulling my hands from my face, and when I looked up it was into Cappie's eyes. I started sobbing and was so overcome by shock and relief that I began to feel myself losing consciousness, and I let the darkness envelope me.
Cappie POV
My little brother made an excellent point, so I decided to act upon it. He tipped me off that him and Case were meeting in a bar about ten minutes off campus, so I decided to get the guys together and casually walk by. It would look like a coincidence, I would pretend I was avoiding the graduation celebrations at Dobler's, and we could have our last goodbye. Me, Beaver and Heath reached the bar with the pledges and ordered a round of beer. I looked round but couldn't see that gorgeous blonde hair anywhere. I was disappointed but couldn't show the guys, I had to keep up the pretence that all was well. I ducked out to ring Rusty.
" Hey Rusty, not that I'm overly bothered or anything but Casey isn't at the bar and I was just wondering if she left with you?"
" Er no, actually Cap I'm bit worried about her. I was just trying to ring her and this guy picked up her phone and told me that if I knew what's best for me and 'the pretty blonde', I'd stay away. I'm on my way back to the bar now."
" What the hell? I'll go and talk to the bartender and see if he knows anything." I rushed back inside, confused and worried about Casey.
" Hey! Bartender! A friend of mine was in here a while ago, blonde hair, green eyes, medium height. Did you see her? Did she leave with anyone?"
" Oh sure I know who you're talking about. She left about a half hour ago, alone. Although there was a group of guys who left straight after, were talking about following her I think…"
" Oh shit, alright well thank you." I turned around to see Rusty rushing in, a black purse swinging from his arm. Beav and Heath came up behind me. They'd obviously spotted that something was up. Rusty's face made me even more worried, he looked like he was about to cry.
" Spitter, what's happened? What's wrong? The bartender said she was alone but a group of guys may have followed her, do you know anything?"
" Cap…I…" Tears welled up in his eyes as he continued, "I was just running up here and I found Casey's purse and cellphone. It was on the floor and when I picked it up I saw…I saw…"
" What, you saw what?" I was beginning to get very scared.
" Blood" Rusty said as his voice cracked from grief, " I saw blood."
There was silence as me and the guys digested what we'd just heard. I was speechless. I couldn't imagine what was happening to my Casey. It was late and she was beautiful; the most stunning girl in the world to me. I had to find her, before something worse did.
" Rusty, we need to find her. I can't lose her." I heard the determination in my voice which was mirrored in Spitter's eyes.
" She'll have been going back to ZBZ. We should go that way and see what we find." We headed out after gathering KT reinforcements, rushing to come to Casey's aid. If the blood had really been Casey's then she was in trouble, and I couldn't bear to think what would happen if we were too late.
I was beginning to lose hope after about ten minutes, until I saw three guys running down the street. No one else thought much of it, they looked like graduates fresh from a party. But I didn't recognise them and the streets were deserted. When I looked closer, I saw something red on one of their sweatshirts. Blood. I turned around to see Rusty staring after them. From the look on his face, he had also seen the unmistakeable stain. We began to run down the street with the others following our lead. From the light of the streetlamp I say movement from an alley, and saw a strong guy kissing a girl while holding her against a wall. Rage exploded inside me as I realised that it was my girl. Rusty and the guys ran straight at him and pushed him away before smacking him within an inch of his life. As much as I wanted to join them, as soon as I saw her I knew I couldn't leave. She was weeping into her hands, hiding those beautiful eyes which I love so much. Her dress was ripped and I could see fresh bruises and cuts littering her slender body. Although skinnier than I would like she was still a goddess to me, but at that moment she was a weak girl who needed someone. I pulled her hands away from her face to see her look at me with fear. Once she recognised me she smiled faintly, before her knees gave way. I caught her just before she fell, and began to carry her back home.
Cappie POV
Rusty and the guys called the police, who locked that filthy guy up. They all received warnings for beating him up, but after the police saw what he did to Casey they let it go. Casey is still asleep, not that I blame her. The doctor checked her and said that nothing was broken but that she would be sore, and the emotional damage would be the worst. Rusty has been in and out, angry that his parents won't visit and upset that he left Case alone that night. Poor guy blames himself, and won't listen to reason. I just watch her. She seems so peaceful, yet I'm still reeling over the fact that I came so close to losing her. I have been so stupid, trying to carry on my life without her in it, because that's not a life worth living. Looking at her now, the way her hair fans across the pillow and the way she looks in my KT t-shirt; I could watch her forever. So I hold her hand and stroke her face and finally, she stirs.
"Cappie? Is that you?" She sits up and I move to help her but she flinches away from my touch. She looks around, scared and clearly confused. "What happened? How did I get here? One minute I was there and he was about to ra-, rape me and now I'm here, with you and - and I don't understand" she fretted, working herself into a state. I calmly shushed her, and waited for her to calm down before I started. "Case, you're safe now, do you hear me? No one will ever hurt you again, I will protect you. We found you in the alley before he r-" my breath hitched, I couldn't bear to think or say that word, "could do anything to you. I brought you back here and you've been sleeping ever since." I finished and allowed her to gather the information. I was waiting for the onslaught of tears which I knew would come. Casey had put her guard up around me, but something like this was bound to break through her strong exterior. However, she surprised me by moving to get up, wincing from her bruises.
" Wait, Case, where do you think you're going?"
" I, I have to go Cap. I can't be here." She was refusing to look at me, rushing around the room looking for her things.
" No Casey, what you need is to stay here and rest while I look after you." I left out the part that I needed her to stay so I could know that she was safe.
" What, so now you care? You broke my heart Cappie. You were prepared to let me go to Washington without so much as a goodbye and just live your life, but now you care? I don't need this, I don't need you. I'm sorry if you feel guilty or something but you don't have to pretend you care about me. I'll be just fine, you don't need to worry." Her words were like a slap in the face. She still refused to look at me which I couldn't bear. She needed to know how I felt about her.
" Casey, would you stop and look at me, please" I quietly pleaded. She stopped just by the door but refused to turn around. I went up behind her and took her hand but she jumped away. "Just look at me and hear me out." She turned slowly and looked up at me. There were tears in those glossy eyes and I hated the thought that they were there because she thought that I didn't care.
" Casey, I don't want you to stay because I feel guilty. On the night of the attack, I was in that bar trying to find you to say goodbye. Because I didn't want you to remember me as the guy who walked away. But then you were missing and I was so worried. I was literally sick to my stomach. When I saw what that guy did to you, what he was about to do…I thought I could have lost you. I have felt so empty without you, because when I left you on that pier I left a piece of me with you, and without that I am nothing. Case, I left my heart with you, and it will always be with you. I love you and always will. I want you to stay her so I can look after you, so I can make sure that you are safe and sound. I want you to feel loved like only I can love you, and to be protected like only I can protect you. You don't have to be scared of me, I won't hurt you. I love you." Casey looked up at me and I could see that my words had had an impact. She reached out to touch my hand.
" Cap, I love you too. I'm so sorry." And with that the tears began, and I brought her to me in one swift movement. It felt so right, to have her wrapped in my arms with her head nestled into my chest. We fit. Knowing that she loved me made me realise that despite the horrific experience she had been through, we would be together forever, and nothing else mattered.