First posted back in 2009, this is a response to the GrangerSnape100 Nicknames Challenge. Each section is precisely 100 words in length. Mature content warning.

They understand each other only too well, but for now, romance is impossible.

All the usual disclaimers apply. Thank you to beta-of-dreams, Melusin.

The Discussion

The unwelcome moment of certainty came in his office. A blistering gaze and two deep breaths.

Her whisper filled the room. "This can't happen."

"I know," he replied. "I suppose ... no, it can't."

She walked away, halting in front of a shelf full of eggs. Robin vied with Runespoor. Tiny ova of the European wren nestled in the shadow of a great, black, unhatched Norwegian Ridgeback.

"Of course I'd like to. But I refuse to be reduced to a cliché!" she exclaimed. "The school bicycle. Star fucker. Bit of fluff. Lolita."

"The letch," he said. "Dirty old man. That paedo."

o0o

She whirled around to face him. "You see? Don't think I'm not flattered. Don't think it isn't tempting."

His laugh barked out, surprising them both. "It should be me who—" he muttered. "How is it that you make me feel so naïve?"

"Because you are," she said bluntly. "We both are. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation. Well-rounded individuals never have this conversation."

"Perhaps they do!" he snapped. "Perhaps it's the ones who don't stop to talk about it who are odd."

She smiled, sadly. "Immature. Insecure."

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Predatory. Exploitative."

The discussion was over.

o0o

The Second Discussion

He found her outside a pub around the corner from the Ministry. Sitting on a picnic bench in the sunshine, staring at the traffic.

She choked on her lager and lime when he sat down with a woody squeak and placed a letter in front of her.

"We interviewed seven applicants for the traineeship, but to be honest, the others showed very little evidence of quantitative techniques in their previous work. I know it's quicker than you expected, but we're offering you the place."

She grimaced. "You wiggled your eyebrows at me during my presentation. I almost lost my place."

o0o

"You were nervous. It was a good presentation," he said lightly. "I told you Augustus Pye would like the Murtlap immunoassay."

"You didn't help things, Severus."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Are you going to accept the offer?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you so much for this."

"Hermione …."

"Now you're my mentor," she mused, picking up the parchment.

He smiled wryly. "They call me Guru Snape."

She didn't smile back. "Trainer. Advisor. Guide."

His shoulders hunched. "Your supervisor. Lab meetings, progress reports, thesis submitted on time."

"A position of authority," she said quietly.

The discussion was over.

o0o

The Third Discussion

She blinked twice and hastily tempered her horrified expression.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"I didn't expect to be here," he replied. "Eleanor suggested it at lunchtime. I had nothing else planned, so …."

"So you came."

He nodded and glanced over her shoulder. "I think she's found one of her Healer chums. Doesn't he work on the Dai Llewellyn ward?"

Turning to follow his gaze, she said, "Yes, that's Tim Flower. Remember I told you he's been providing blood samples from patients?"

The floor creaked as he moved to stand beside her.

"Your latest squeeze, so I've heard."

o0o

"We've had dinner a few times, and Friday nights, after work, we go to the pub," she snapped. "Why am I even telling you? It's really none of your business!"

Torches burned merrily in their wall-mounted sconces. The atmosphere was warm with beer, pipe smoke and chatter. In the midst of it all, two figures froze.

"Eleanor collects teddy bears," he eventually murmured with a sideways look that spoke volumes. "It's not serious."

She stared back at him. "Better than a student crush, though."

"A hopeless devotion."

"Pining away."

"Lonely and heartsore."

They both snorted disparagingly.

The discussion was over.

o0o

The Fourth Discussion

The meeting room in St Mungo's Magipathology Unit was an extraordinarily drab place, but it didn't matter to her.

"Congratulations, Hermione!" her external examiner said. "I've had some nightmare theses recently; it was nice to read this one."

"Thank you," she replied. "I would say it was nice to write, but that would be stretching the truth somewhat."

"What next?" Augustus Pye enquired.

"Dublin have offered me a contract, actually."

"Dublin? I didn't even know they were advertising."

She shifted in her chair. "Severus heard about it at the Berlin conference."

Augustus chuckled wryly. "The information Niffler strikes gold again."

o0o

He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Good news, I take it?"

She grinned.

"Augustus, Duncan." He nodded to her examiners. "Are you joining us for the usual post-match dinner?"

"Afraid not," the Healer said regretfully. "My shift starts in ten minutes."

"My Portkey leaves at six," Duncan Dewberry added. "I'll have to dash as it is."

He raised his eyebrows. "What unfortunate timing! We must catch up soon, though."

They shook hands before departing.

"So … it's just us two," she said.

"Are you hungry?"

Her eyes gleamed. "In a manner of speaking."

The discussion was over.

o0o

Very Little Discussion

"Oh, thank Merlin!" her housemates sighed simultaneously.

Two figures had appeared in their sitting room. A man and a woman, moulded to each other, kissing with utter abandon. Hands caressed hair and cheeks before finding buttons and breasts. As the pair stumbled and rumbled up the stairs, their kisses grew wilder.

Her housemates smirked at each other as a large boot thumped noisily down the steps.

"Turn the telly up," whispered Luna. "I bet she's a screamer."

"Don't!" squeaked Ginny, trying to smother her giggles with a cushion. "Did you see him?"

"Worth the wait by the look of it."

o0o

She leaned against her bedroom wall, unashamedly naked. Kneeling before her, he slid an unsteady hand between excited thighs.

"Beautiful. Wet."

He tilted his head and tongued her clitoris. Rippling. Pulsing. Sucking. Fingers thrusting and wavering in parallel.

"Sev—!" She tugged his hair. His ear. He straightened, and she looked right past his upturned face to his achingly rigid cock. She reached for it. "Up. Yes. Right here? Oh! Fuck!"

Luna was right.

Imperative strength reduced to puppyish languor, he stroked her bottom contentedly. "People will think we've always been sleeping together."

"Maybe. But we'll know."

The discussion began.

End