Evil Genius - Minion Advertisement
Notes: Enclosed with this package is a copy of an advertisement we found in today's copies of The Sun, The Daily Mail and The News of The World. I think we may have to cut Sir Steele's holiday short.
- N.
Deputy Director
Her Majesties Secret Service
MI6
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Sometimes the things in life get too complicated. Won't it be easier if a great Evil Doctor could come along and sort everything out for us?
EVIL ORGANISATION LOOKING FOR MINIONS
Are you looking for something new? Do you feel ready to absorb knowledge, experience and, most importantly, lots of hard cash? Well why not try becoming a minion in the private employ of S.P.O.N.G.E?
We are utterly devoted to our cause and take excellent care of our Evil Minions. The Evil Genius knows that as a minion, you're not just another expendable grunt. We're proud to say that S.P.O.N.G.E 's Minion Mortality rate is only 59 percent!(1) That's far lower than any of our immediate competitors! And of course, there is an excellent pension plan in place for any minions lucky enough to survive.
Unlike other Evil Organisations, we aren't prepared to outsource our jobs to citizens of poorer nations, just to save on wages. Here at S.P.O.N.G.E we want to stand up for England before we seize control of it.
All ages, races and genders welcome: S.P.O.N.G.E is an equal opportunity Evil Employer.
S.P.O.N.G.E has been twice nominated Evil Employer Of The Year, beaten only by Microsoft.
What are YOU waiting for?
Dial "4558-646-284" and request a Minion Application Document today!
Job satisfaction, guaranteed! (2)
S.P.O.N.G.E
"Working towards a better future… for him."
(1 -If you look at the chart upside down)
(2 -Not a guarantee)