"And get this man a shield," T'Challa stated firmly.

Steve Rogers took a step from the shadows into the room full of his friends - the Avengers - the moment T'Challa finished his sentence. He hadn't seen any of them in almost three years. One cursory sweep about the room, and the nervousness from earlier was replaced by sorrow. Their reaction was a mix between loss, despair and reluctant wariness.

All of them had something in common: Everyone looked bone-tired. Natasha gave him a miniscule smile that was there for a second, and in the next she switched her full attention to Tony. She was the last person Steve glanced at, because from the moment his eyes landed on his former teammate, former friend - Tony Stark - Steve couldn't look away.

Steve's stomach bottomed out. Tony stood silently on the other side of the room, looking almost dead on his feet. He had lost weight, his cheeks were hollow now and his complexion sickly. His eyes had lost their spark, and the bags under them had aged him a decade, not only the three years since Steve had last seen him. Three years since he had dropped his shield onto the concrete in Siberia, taken Bucky and they had both disappeared into Wakanda.

Steve knew very well he had made a mistake. He saw it now crystal clear. He should have been there. He had helped the Avengers who had been incarcerated in the Raft escape, but the moment Tony had taken care of their accusation and they had been pardoned, they had left him and Bucky. The Avengers had come back. They had the guts to face Tony again and stay by his side to fight threat after threat even if that meant taking the brunt of the Government restriction.

Steve wasn't that strong. He was ashamed. He had fought for a good purpose - protecting Bucky, but he understood he should have done things differently throughout the years. He should have listened to Tony from the beginning. Had he done so, they wouldn't be in the mess he had created.

Now, Steve stood again in the Avengers Compound, since Tony had sold the Avengers Tower, and felt inadequate. The mistakes and doubts were crippling him. They took away his ability to make any decision. He wasn't the great Captain America anymore. He was only a shadow of the man he had once been. Unfortunately, he was still an Avenger, and when the world was at risk, it was his duty to be in the first line of defense and protect the people.

Steve heard Tony exhale shakily, and then the man behind the Iron Man suit left the room. The gesture spoke loudly. Steve hung his head in defeat.

"It's good to see you back, man," Sam's voice shattered the loud silence. "Give him time. We just-" Sam trailed off.

Maybe it was out of respect for Wanda, or maybe Sam couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud, but Steve heard them anyway. They had just lost Vision. Steve had seen how Thanos killed him on national television on the airplane. The only remnant Tony had left after JARVIS was now gone too.

"I should probably-" Steve pointed in the direction Tony had left. He had two options: Tony's bedroom or the workshop.

"He's in the workshop," Natasha clarified as if she had read his mind. "He and FRIDAY are trying to find a way to stop Thanos. When he's not fighting, he's there. I doubt he's sleeping at all these days."

Steve's heart clenched painfully. The way didn't take him a lot of time. Once in Tony's space, Steve looked around. It felt like he had stepped back in time. The workshop had a calming effect on his nerves.

"Took you long enough to show your face again," Tony murmured but didn't glance up from the computer monitors.

Steve studied his tense back. All these years they had spent yelling at each other, fighting each other, and Steve had never questioned why. After he had gone to Wakanda, losing Tony was like missing a limb. "I didn't know you wanted to see me again."

Steve had figured out the truth a year after he had left upon seeing Tony make a statement for the press. He had fallen in love with Tony Stark along their road from teammates to friends. The longing was killing him. He would do anything to turn back time, anything to avoid the Civil War.

"They came back." Tony's tone of voice was hard. "And the popsicle didn't stand in your way, so you could have come back too."

Steve's belly fluttered, because there was no other choice than to speak the truth. So, he took a deep breath and confessed, "I couldn't face you." Maybe because of that statement, Tony finally swung his chair around and looked at him. "I couldn't look at you and live with myself thanks to the things I did to you."

"You can live with them now?" Tony arched his eyebrow in question.

"No." Steve shook his head. "But if I didn't fight by your side against Thanos, I wouldn't be able to face myself in the mirror." No need to tell Tony how much Steve already hated his own reflection on the glass surface.

Steve froze on the spot when Tony took a few steps towards him, his eyes never leaving Steve's. There couldn't be more than a foot of space between them. Steve tried to ignore his galloping heart. His lungs stopped working, though, when Tony touched his hair and his beard.

"You're lying. You already can't look at yourself."

Steve knew what Tony had to be seeing. His scruffy hair was longer than ever, kept out of his eyes by sheer force of will. His beard was awful. He hated it with a passion but couldn't stand the idea of taking the razor, looking at himself and shaving it off.

Steve closed his eyes guiltily. He wanted to remember the moment forever. The first time Tony had touched him after so long. When his breathing returned, Steve noted that Tony hadn't changed the brand of his aftershave all these years.

"What are you hiding from me?" Tony inquired softly, and Steve found himself unable to breathe once again. He would give anything to feel Tony's fingers on his skin, not in his beard.

Steve opened his eyes with trepidation. He was ready to run from the workshop. The reunion wasn't going as he had imagined. Steve had expected one of Tony's angry rants. He was prepared for being blamed, but not for this. "You have to hate me."

Steve felt cold when Tony finally took the hand away from his face and looked at him the same way he had been looking at him back then, with affection and like Tony was humoring him with an answer.

"Really? I should hate you because you pushed all my buttons and I pushed yours? I'm supposed to hate you because you stood by your friend? Sure, you're an old idiot who knows the word diplomacy only from a dictionary, but everyone is allowed to make a mistake. I wasn't exactly a saint in our Civil War either. So back to the problem at hand, Cap."

Steve swallowed nervously. Funny how he wanted Tony to be closer, and at the same time felt the need to have at least a room of space between them because he knew Tony would never feel the same for him. "I left you in-" Steve couldn't avert his eyes.

"Siberia, yeah. I have been there. You don't have to remind me," Tony replied flippantly.

A second later, Steve blinked in confusion because Tony moved suddenly and took his face in his hands.

"That's the past. We're here now. What are you hiding?" the billionaire repeated with single-minded focus.

Steve's parched throat constricted. Again, his stomach fluttered. Steve willed his eyes to stay open and not close again. He unconsciously glanced down toward Tony's lips and then quickly returned his gaze to Tony's eyes. He could only hope Tony hadn't noticed. The man was so close. Steve couldn't remember how many times he had dreamed about this moment in Wakanda. The scenario was always different, but Tony remained the same. After the love confession, they had always spent the rest of their lives together.

"I love you." Steve breathed out shakily.

Tony's eyes filled with tears, and he released a pained chuckle. "He killed Vision. We're all going to die. You had three years to tell me, and you decided to do it now?"

Steve shook his head. Tony was probably right. Their future didn't look very good. "I don't want any secrets between us. And you didn't call."

Tony spread his arms. "You insulted me with that flip phone, Steve. Who is still using a flip phone these days? I wouldn't touch that with a ten feet pole. It's ancient. It's a piece of technology from the fifth century before Christ."

Steve grinned. A warm feeling spread in his chest. "I'm using it."

"Exactly my point, ancient one." Tony's smile slipped off his face. "We have to stop Thanos. I have no idea how, Steve. Vision was one of the most powerful beings on Earth, and look what happened."

"I know." Steve's heart went out to his friend. "But you're not alone anymore. You have the Guardians of the Galaxy, Doctor Strange, the whole Wakandan nation and the Avengers. We'll fight together. He won't stand a chance." Funny how mere minutes ago, Steve had been convinced they would all die protecting the Earth, but now he was starting to believe his own words. Why wouldn't they defeat Thanos? They were the good guys, after all.

Steve saw Tony reluctantly listening to his words, so he went for the most important argument. "Tony, we have a teammate to avenge." And if Tony had ignored any other words before, he couldn't ignore these. Steve's statement was obviously working, because Tony's shoulders straightened.

"Go, tell the others. Meeting in the kitchen in fifteen."

"Alright." Steve's nerves settled.

"Steve?"

The super soldier looked back over his shoulder in the doorway. "Yes?" Nothing could make him happier at that moment.

"I love you too. But we're gonna talk about this after we have wiped that son of a bitch from our planet."

Steve had made another mistake by thinking nothing could make him more happy. This was definitely the best day of his life. He grinned. "Yes, Sir!"

The End