Dean, Sam and Cas had just finished hunting a werewolf that night. At first when Sam pointed the shotgun in the poor kid's face he felt a little hesitant, seeing himself in that innocent little boy who obviously had no clue to what was doing. But he'd crossed the line, and they saw the footage. He killed his own sister and who would have the heart do that to their own family? Sam should know. He pulled the trigger before Logan could utter another word, leaving Dean slightly dumbfounded at how quick Sam had done it. Cas was however indifferent, after hunting and traveling on the road for just about five months. Kevin's passing definitely did change many things.
Things were still difficult for the three, especially for Dean knowing technically it had been his fault. Sam was especially not alright with it. It may not have been him who killed his friend, but he still did it anyway with his own flesh and body. There was something truly and frighteningly unforgivable about that, that even when his consciousness had been replaced with another he could still feel the inevitable taunting guilt run through his veins, killing him with every pump.
"I'm gonna go get some fresh air," Sam's voice trembled coldly, not turning around to search for a response. He simply got up and went outside. The slam of that door crushed Dean as he rolled his hands into a fist, channeling his guilt and his agony through that one, tight clench. Crying wasn't going to help, he's known that for too long to break it. Cas sat on the opposite side of the bench, heaving empathetically knowing just how dense the Winchester's situation was after losing someone truly dear to them. If only I hadn't trust Metatron, he thought to himself quietly, sealing his lips as he listened to the sound of Dean's heart drum faster and louder, Gadreel wouldn't have escaped. Sam would be safe, Kevin would be alive.
It was practically impossible defusing the angel out Sam, but Crowley worked his way around it. Sam eventually regained consciousness even with the sensual desire for him to simply die and get that over it - get over his half-finished responsibilities. He had a brother to attend to, and even if he barely showed it after finding out that Kevin had died – it was there. Castiel swallowed the lump forming in his throat and scooted closer to Dean, placing a hand gently on his lap. A shudder went up both of their spines after that remote contact with one another. Sure, they've touched each other before but that had only been when a vampire or a wendigo slammed them both into a corner. This was different.
Dean stopped breathing for a split second as he looked up, dancing his irises to meet the familiar blue ones just inches from his face. They looked so sincere that it had been hard to erase, not like he'd want to anyway. Cas smiled.
"It's been hard," he said, blinking furiously as thoughts rapidly entered his mind through a tornado of melancholy. He calmed down, glancing back into Dean's mildly dampened green eyes. "I just wanted to let you know I'm right here."
Dean wasn't sure why, but something about those few words made his heart leap out of his chest – like that was it. That was all it took for him to feel even remotely alive, like even when the world had been complete shit to him and just how badly he had returned the favour watching those two chapped lips utter something cliched seemed to be the solution. He stretched the corner of his lips, smiling tiredly at a handsome Castiel that seemed to shimmer underneath the fading moonlight. They both zoned out for a little while until Cas snapped back into reality, standing up.
"I'm going to check if Sam's okay-"
"No, don't," Dean's voice was abrupt. It could've passed as a reflex move to grasp Cas's wrist that quickly. He didn't know what he was doing half the time but a part of him told him to do it anyway. "Don't leave me, everybody keeps doing that."
Cas looked stunned for a second. Dean felt so stupid for saying that that he actually cackled, nervously that is.
"I didn't know how to put it but," Dean was standing up now. He couldn't find it in him to let go of that hand he'd been cupping on, in fact, his grip just got stronger. Cassie, Lisa, Anna, none of them could compare to the electricity he felt whenever he touched Cas. Even when it was just his shoulder brushing against his, even when it was just a friendly pat on the back. There's always been this spark.
You could just imagine how bright, how ablaze Dean felt holding onto his hand. It was so absurd yet so right. "It's dumb of me to say this Cas, oh god I don't even know how to put this together," He was blushing so much he could practically hear the sound of his eyes crinkling with goosebumps.
Cas was stared at him with amusement. "Dean-"
"No, no, don't-" He took another step closer. More sparks. "I'm doing the talking."
That certainly shut Cas up. Dean took another step forward, his heart thundering rapidly against his ribs, hands clamming over how nervous he was to be saying what he think he was going to say. He wasn't even exactly sure if he had been in the right mind to come out this abruptly and oh god how much of a relief it was going to be when he finally let it out. Think about the first time you saw him, purgatory, heaven, hell, everything. Everywhere. Think about the beautiful room. Actually, think about the beautiful boy right in front of you. Dean chanted elusive gibberish in his head. He was so close now, oh boy, a breath away from Cas. Dean finally let go of the wrist that he had been gripping on for what felt like an eternity as he strolled his hands up at a leisurely pace. His shaky hands reached for the sides of Cas's face, Cas's eyes softening when he had finally realized what Dean was trying to do. Of course he knew what he was trying to do. It was just too good to believe, that someone as beautiful, as strong and as stiff as Dean was going to fall for a failure, a destructive person like he was. Castiel breathed thickly as Dean lurched forward, crashing his lips onto his like the world had been set on fire and not even that could grasp their attention enough to let go. Dean ran his hands all over Cas, pulling his hips closer to his as Cas slipped in a little tongue, beads of perspiration rolling down their faces and nothing – and I mean nothing in the world felt just as good as that moment when they gnawed on each others mouths like two men dying for air.
Cas pulled back for a breath, eyes shut and body quivering with passion. "Do you think about me, Dean?" He asked profoundly, running his hands down Dean's pants, slipping his thumbs into his briefs. Dean let out a moan, nodding. "All the time," he breathed thickly, rolling his lips all over Cas's face as he struggled to unbutton his jeans. "In the shower..." He began planting kisses all over his neck, his length hardening at how good it felt, "when I'm touching myself," he teased seductively with a low whisper. Cas smirked, jerking Dean's pants.
"I might love you," Cas responded. Dean pulled him closer to his face as he slipped his tongue into Cas's mouth, shutting him up instantly even though he secretly loved the sound of that. Fuck, he loved everything about Cas. Head to toe. He's never seen anything much like him. Dean hardened his grip around Cas's hips, scrambling his down to unbutton Cas's pants. He awkwardly fumbled with his belt as Cas let out a breathy laugh, his mouth still half-pressed against Dean's freckly skin.
"Let me do it," Cas unbuckled his belt and tossed it in the bed right next to them, shuffling down to pull his pants off him. Dean pecked a kiss on his nose before helping him do it himself. After he finished, he began tracing his fingers back up Cas's hips, Cas jerking his head up with pleasure. Dean grinned.
He leaned his forehead against Cas, their faces sweaty but none of them cared.
"I'm going to make it so good," Dean promised, undressing out of his shirt. Cas stroked his fingers over Dean's perfect built. "I've dreamt about this for too long," He resumed.
SAM COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND PUKES W EXCEEDING HETEROSEXUALITY
"WER JUS PLATNOCI FRENZ SAM" DEAN LAUGHED NERVOUSLY