LET US GO, TO THE ASSASSIN'S CONVENTION!
"It's hot, like, really hot. It feels like it's a thousand fucking degrees out here. Travis, why is it so hot?
"We're in Santa Destroy, it gets hot here. I mean look, we're surrounded by scorpions, sand, and I think that's a cactus."
"Okay, I get that, but what do the god damned cacti have to do with this heat? It's 111 degrees out here! That's ridiculous. It's not even funny. Wait, are you telling me the cacti are causing this, 'cause if they are, I am gonna' kick some cact-ass!"
"No, you headcase, it's not hot because there are cacti, the cacti are here because its hot, and its hot because Santa Destroy is somewhere in the American southwest. I think we're in Nevada, maybe California, I'm not really sure to be perfectly honest, and besides, if you're so hot, take your damn costume off . No one around here gives two shits that your Deadpool, hell, I don't give two shits that your Deadpool."
"Don't make fun of me dammit, don't you know that I have the cancer? I look like a freaking California raisin in here, you think it makes me happy?"
"Okay calm down, it'll all be worth it when we get to the Assassin's Convention. By the way, when's this 'ride' you've been talking about getting here?"
"I don't know, bus is running slow today."
"Wait, what bus? There's no bus in Santa Destroy."
"Sure there is. See? There's the bus stop sign, we're at the bus stop."
"That's a stop sign you dumbass! Are you telling me I've been sitting out here for 2 hours waiting for a bus that will never get here?
"Yeah, I Guess if you want to put it that way, but I like to think of it as a bonding experience for us both."
"Fuck off, I hate you, go to hell, I'm hitchhiking."
Travis stands up from the curve and begins to walk down the road. Deadpool stands up behind Travis and starts to fallow him.
"Cool, I love Hitchhiking stories. And it's a buddy comedy, those are hella popular. We'll flag down some cars on our way, meet colorful characters, and hey, maybe we'll both get laid. After all, it's only a couple thousand miles to the Ass Con!"
"Don't call it the ass con that makes it weird." Travis say's as he pulls out his cell phone. "And a thousand miles is too far to walk."
"I said a couple thousand, the Ass Con is all the way in New York city."
"Exactly, I'm calling Spiegal."