"Since when do we care about light?" Edward asked flippantly, attempting to kick his feet up on Colonel Mustang's desk, but his short legs missing the mark completely. The chair fell back completely and it and Edward landed flat on the floor.

"Since we learned about a race that is able to use it to effectively defeat their adversaries. Please pick up that chair."

Edward begrudgingly picked up the offending piece of furniture and stood next to it, eyeing it warily. "What "race" are you talking about? And even if we learn more about them, what are we supposed to do about it? Light isn't exactly matter."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. The relevance being…"

"How are alchemists supposed to use light?"

"The same way we use toasters and toothbrushes. Not every aspect of life requires alchemy."

"Whatever," Edward muttered, rolling his eyes. He realized it was a mistake as soon as he saw Roy's death glare, so he promised himself he would tone down the sarcasm for the remainder of the conversation. Of course, this promise lasted about two seconds, because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, "And why do I have to go find them. I've kind of got a few other things on my plate. You might have noticed that my brother is still kind of a talking suit of armour and…"

"Elric, I would appreciate it if you watched your attitude. You have been given this assignment partially because nobody else wanted it, and partially because you are the only person little enough to fit into to the capsule we've constructed."

Ed felt the little hairs prickle on the back of his neck. Little. LITTLE! He better not be serious! He looked up, a cold a bitter look clouded over his eyes. "I'm sorry, would you mind repeating that. I don't believe I heard you correctly."

"I believe you did," Roy replied curtly. "You're leaving tomorrow. Be here promptly, please. Noon."

Ed opened his mouth to protest, but the look on Roy's face clearly showed that any arguing would be very pointless and very stupid. Sighing silently to himself, he swivelled on the heels of his platform shoes and stormed out the door. As soon as it was closed, he promptly threw a hissy fit and punched the wall. With his right arm.

"I hope they don't notice the hole," he murmured to himself as he slowly trudged home. It looked like Al was going to have to hang out by himself for the next couple of days. He cringed at the thought. If it's an assignment that nobody else wants, it's got to be pretty horrible. He kicked a piece of shattered wall that was sitting in the hallway. That's totally coming out of my pay.

The capsule was certainly cramped, even for him. When he had asked why it was so small, Roy had just said "budget cuts," and pushed him inside. Ed exhaled deeply, fogging up the glass inside. "Isn't it going to get really humid in here?" He asked suddenly.

Riza nodded. "Don't worry," she said. "The trip won't be long. Your destination is almost directly overhead."

"Wait, what?" Edward asked. "Do you mean I'm going to a land in the sky where they fight with light."

"Yes," Riza replied, looking somewhat pained. "It's called Care-a-lot. May God be with you. I mean it." With that she stepped back and pressed the button on the control panel, launching Edward up into the air.

There were few things Edward hated more than the feeling of having his stomach rush to his feet on a sudden take-off. That and losing limbs. And milk. He felt as though he were going to sick, but realizing that there was virtually nowhere to vomit in the tiny capsule, he decided against it. He clenched his eyes together and hoped that this horrible experience would be over soon. Really soon. Really really soo...

Suddenly he heard a soft thud, as kind of like the sound he would hear when Winry hit him with a pillow when she was all out of wrenches. Opening his eyes a crack, Edward could see that he had stopped moving, but he was confused. Why didn't he feel a thud? Assuming it was safe, he released the airtight seal, and the cover of the ship opened up. Tentatively he stepped out, and was amazed at how soft the ground was.

"The clouds?" He asked the air. For some reason, talking to himself helped fill the void of air. "I'm supposed to find a race of people in the clouds? Seriously?" He kicked a puff of cloud and watched, mildly amused, as it filled the air. "Why was I sent on a stupid assignment I don't even care about?"

"But you have to care!" A weirdly high-pitched voice filled the air. Edward tensed and instinctively looked for material to make a weapon. Nothing, just clouds and more clouds. Clouds were mostly water so…

Edward clapped his hands together and focused on drawing from the clouds, creating a long, narrow spear made out of pure ice. He tried to grasp it with his auto mail arm, but it slipped across the smooth metal surface and he dropped it. Bending down quickly, he grabbed it with his left hand, quivering slightly at the cold.

"Who's there?" He called. "If you don't step out right now, I'll come and kick your ass." For a moment everything was silent, and Edward started to sprint in the direction of the voice. The heat from his hand was causing the ice spear to melt around it, creating a makeshift handle. Suddenly a small figure stepped out from behind a patch of clouds. And started blasting rainbows at him.

Ed felt a shock of energy rushing through his body, pushing him back almost violently. All around him he saw obnoxiously cute pastel colours, peppered with hearts, stars, and various other shapes six-year-old girls would doodle on their test papers. The ice spear in his hands had melted completely. Too lazy and too surprised to fight back using alchemy, Edward started flapping his arms and screaming, "Okay, stop with the rainbow guns, I'm not going to hurt you."

The stream of rainbows did stop, and Ed was able to get a good look at the offender. It was a short bear, about half his height, and green. On his stomach he had a shamrock with four heart-shaped petals, and on his face the most annoyingly cutesy smile Ed had ever seen.

"Hi, I'm Good Luck Bear," the bear said, dusting off his stomach in the same way a person blows on a gun after firing. "Everybody needs to care about something."

"Oh, really," Edward said, his voice dripping with heavy sarcasm. "So blasting me with rainbows…IS THAT CARING? Because I just feel like I've been attacked with a giant beam of energy. I don't know about you, but where I come from, that is considered a cheap shot."

The bear stared at him with a look of pure confusion on his face. "You mean the care bear stare?"

"Oh, a stare! Is that what you call it? Last time I checked, staring implied use of the eyes. You just SHOT me out of your paunch."

There were a few moments of awkward silence, and then the bear spoke:

"Would you like a hug?"

"No! Stay away from me. Seriously, what is wrong with you?"

"Somebody's grumpy."

"Somebody is. Look, I'm supposed to go to a place called Care-a-lot. I was supposed to land there, but I'm pretty sure that this isn't it. Could you please show me the way? Because I'm guessing you're one of the things I'm supposed to be talking to."

"I'm a Care Bear, and sure I can take you to Care-a-lot," the Care Bear exclaimed, getting more chipper by the minute. "Care-a-lot is a place we all can go, whenever we choose it."

"Huh?" Edward was getting less annoyed and more confused by the second.

"Come with me," Good Luck Bear said, and grabbed Ed's hand. He tried to keep up with the bear's springy steps as he was led to what looked like a city made out of cotton balls and candy. As they got closer, he was able to make out the shapes of several other bears with different colours. He felt like he was spiralling into some bizarre nightmare that you'd get after eating too much candy. Oh well, he was here to learn about "light fighting," which he could only assume was that rainbow beam he had been nuked with. Might as well do it.