There are days that Nico doesn't remember and he has to think to realize that they were real. His life wasn't a dream. The days of being a happy kid ended with his infatuation with Mythomagic and died when he looked at Percy in a different way than before. What was his sister like? How did it feel when he hugged her?

It scares him when he can't remember.

It scares him when he can't hate Percy for letting her die.

It scares him when he is standing in front of Cupid and his secrets are spilling out and he's waiting, waiting to be rejected and hated and left like he feels he should be.

But Jason, the hero, just tells him he's brave.

Nico wants to cry but he hasn't let himself do that since he grew up because adults don't cry and he isn't a kid anymore- he never will be.

And that hurts more than it should because he remembers the days when he wore colors other than black and didn't notice the circles under his eyes every time he looked in a mirror and didn't want to cry so much.

Jason's still looking at him. He turns away, but pretends that maybe he could be a kid again sometimes.

The next time they talk about it, it's after the war is over.

Nico has to give Jason some credit on his timing- it's impeccable. At this exact moment, Nico had been lounging on the roof of the Hades cabin in Camp Half-Blood, pointedly trying to ignore the love-struck smiles sent between a certain son of Poseidon and daughter of Athena.

"Have you told him yet?" Is all Jason asks as he walks behind Nico and lowers himself to sit, his movements almost silent. Damn, Nico thinks, Jason could put me out of business for the whole 'mysterious and silent' thing. But that thought was too much like something Leo would say so Nico keeps his mouth shut as he fiddles with his skull ring. It's started to act like some kind of stress output lately, him fiddling with this ring, and it's starting to show from thumbprints and faded alloy on the surface.

"So," Jason glances over at him, "I'll take that as a no."

"You took it correctly, then."

"You should tell him, Nico. It might make you feel better to get it out there. And I may not have known Percy my whole life, but if there's one thing I know, it's that he won't care. He won't care, Nico. None of us will, if you choose to tell everyone."

Nico fidgets uncomfortably and lets that be his response.

"I'm serious."

"Oh, I know you are!" He exclaims. "But that's easy for you to say- you have a beautiful, strong girlfriend who never even looked at anyone else but you. You look like some kind of god with the blonde hair and the tiny scar and stupid grin and-" Nico stops, a blush overtaking his features. "Shit, I'm sorry. I just-"

"It's fine, Nico," Jason grins. "Look, you just complimented me more right now than I think I've been complimented in the last two years. Thanks."

Nico just blushes deeper and shoves his face into the furry lining of his jacket, fiddling more with his ring. He takes a deep breath.

"Percy, he was- still is, I guess- you know, cool. He was an actual hero. And I was a kid. He just seemed so tough and funny and better and I kind of just got a crush on him back then. Even- even after what happened with Bianca, I couldn't hate him. Which made this whole thing even harder, you know?"

Jason is a good audience. Anyone else would have interrupted him and tried to make him feel better or something, but Jason just sits quietly and waits for Nico to finish.

"That's just rough, man." Is his eloquent response when Nico's silence makes it clear that he is done talking.

And for the first time in way too long, Nico just laughs.

idk guys blood of olympus is coming out next month and i can't stop thinking about it i literally have never gotten less obsessed with this series send help

anyways! jason/nico friendship? y E S