The day after
Author: White Lighter
Summary: a little Arashi and Sorata story…. Ya, I'm a hopeless romantic!
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own x 1999 obviously.…. Because if I did, do you really think I would be posting fanfictions? Nah!
It was dawn when Arashi woke up. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to remember if the night she spent was real and not a dream, but she felt Sorata moving a little next to her and she knew it was real. She shifted softly in the bed, disentangling herself from Sorata's embrace. He didn't wake up and she was thankful for that. She didn't want him to see her like this; it would be too much to bear. She looked through the window, the sun was rising in the horizon, colouring the landscape with a dim orange light. She closed her eyes for a moment; a tear was rolling down her cheek. She had to do it; she knew she had to do it.
She walked to the bed and kissed him lightly on the forehead, near his bandages.
He nearly died for her, he would protect her until the end with his life and she knew that but how could she possibly survive without him? She cast the thought aside and headed to the doors of the room. She looked at him one last time, sleeping peacefully despite the scars and the wounds covering his body and then looked at her hand, the same very hand which help her sword. She would not have it back. It was her own choice, she was willing to do the sacrifice to be with him and she did it even though she knew she would not be able to help Kamui without it.
She walked for a little while, trying to postpone the very moment she was afraid to face. She sat on a bench and cried. She had to die. It would be easier for everybody, she thought. If she killed herself, Sorata would not die trying to save her. She had to do it now. Besides, 'of what use am I?' she asked herself. Kamui could survive without her, Yuzuriha too, although she was young and Arashi felt a strong urge of protection for this young girl who had been through so many painful events in her life, who had lost her dog spirit Inuki, who fell in love with a man far older than she was and who was, above all things, a Chi no ryu. She should have been there, by her side, all the time, she wished she had been there.
She wished she was not that Hidden Shrine Maiden of the Ise Shrine. She wished she was not a Te no ryu. She wished she had died when she was six, it would have spare her feeling the guilt through her whole body. She was a failure, she failed in doing her duty. Instead, she chose to love, with her heart, her soul and her body, her, the Kakushi Miko of the Ise Shrine, who had vowed to stay pure until her death so that she could accomplish what she was destined to.
But, however strong her guilt was, she did not regret what she had done, she did not regret the feeling of Sorata's love, the feeling of his body intertwined with hers, the closeness she had share with him and that she would share with nobody else but him. He was the only man that she would ever love. And for him, she would die. She understood what he must have felt when he said he would die for her.
"One day, there will be a man that will love you…" her grandmother's words echoed in her mind. The memory of that day resurfaced in her mind. It seemed a life time had passed since that very day, when she chose to eat; she had almost forgotten her grandmother's words. Yes, there would be someone that would love her and that she would love too. It was written since the beginning. It was her destiny and it was already foreordained.
She shook her head. No! She could not let that happen. Her future wasn't written yet, she would be the one making her own future. She stood up, the sun lights brushing against her face and walked decidedly. She knew she had not the strength within herself to attempt to her life. There was something in her that had changed her during that night with Sorata, she could feel it inside her.
She could still change his destiny. She would not let him die for her because she would not live without him. She had to fight against him, she had to make him despise her, hate her so that he would never die for her. And the only person that could grant her wish was the other Kamui. She would fight by his side, with the Chi no ryu, for the sake of Earth.
She began to walk her way out of the park. The wind was blowing, blowing her hair, blowing her clothes. She could feel it against her bare arms, against her face.
"Neechan!"
She shivered. She knew that voice too well. She knew he was standing behind her, a few steps away. She did not want to look back. She knew that if she did and looked at him, she would lose herself in his eyes and she would never do what she planned.
"Neechan!" the voice repeated again, shaking.
"Neechan… I missed you…"
That was enough, she could not take more. She turned slowly to face the man standing in front of her. She was crying. He broke the distance that was between them and put his left hand of her cheek, wiping the tears away form her beautiful face.
"I…" she started.
"Shhh! That's okay. That's okay." He said.
And she buried herself in his arms, her head resting on his chest. He held her tightly in his arms, and she closed her eyes. He kissed her hair, her forehead, her eyes, every inch of her face. She opened her eyes and saw that he was crying too.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I'm sorry…"
She put her hand on his face too and she felt drawn to him. Their lips met, gently at first and then they deepened the kiss. When their lips parted, they stayed silent a few moments, foreheads touching, plunging into each other's soul, saying to each other things that they could not express with words because there simply were no words strong enough to explain their feelings. They would love each other till the end and far beyond, in other lives, in other times. They will always be meant for each other.
"I love you" she whispered.
"I love you" he said, brushing the lock of hair off her face.
And they walked, hand in hand till they became nothing but a shadow in the horizon and finally disappeared.
The wind was still blowing as if it was trying to erase the traces of the past. Everything was peaceful. And leaves were whirling in the wind.