I mostly use as a 'back up' - I post to archive of our own first. Under the same pen name! Enjoy!
Notes: I decided to change the 'poor Yams can't get a break wtf Kishi' to 'maybe Yams WANTS to do this yes that must be it because no one could be so cruel to Yamato, especially not his own creator'.
Or something.
There are a lot of unresolved issues that I hardly scrape on here, but I wanted to do something as a short companion at least. Enjoy!
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The Early Season
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Yamato knows he can retire, if he wants to. It's been made explicitly clear to him on more than one occasion, and not because someone is kindly hinting he should, but because they feel he's shouldered more than his fair share and deserves a rest. Yamato can easily quit this mission, should he choose to, but he doesn't. He doesn't want to, believe it or not, and while many people think he's losing his mind, Yamato just shrugs it off.
"You know…" begins Sai, on a quiet night in a sake bar. He's the one who's been sent to collect the intel this month, and Yamato is very aware that the small selection of high-profile people Kakashi sends to collect intel also coincides with the small selection of people he calls friends and family, but he doesn't comment. "The village is different now. You could have a life. A proper one. Like I do."
Yamato's heart breaks a little at that. He doesn't think he's that dysfunctional in society, though following a criminal for years while shrugging off concern is perhaps a little dysfunctional. But he enjoys following Orochimaru and keeping tabs on him, and not because of duty to the village, though that is there too.
"I know," Yamato replies kindly, smiling softly. He's heard all about Sai and his interest in Yamanaka Ino, as well as how everyone else of his generation is gravitating towards each other. Part of Yamato feels sad for them all, that they're all settling down into their lives without following a greater calling, but he also knows they're a different breed of person than he could ever be. Yamato was never going to settle down in a pre-labelled box.
"You could be happy," Sai suggests tentatively, and that makes Yamato blink, sake cup raised to his lips.
"You don't think I am?" he retorts, and he feels proud at the emotion that flashes across Sai's face. There's bewilderment, anger, sadness, and of course concern.
"You're tracking Orochimaru 10 months out of 12, and have been for years," Sai states, as if Yamato doesn't know that. "What is there to be happy about that?"
It's a complex question, and Yamato defers to silence. Despite their common ground, Sai will not be able to understand what Yamato feels. His relationship with Orochimaru is complicated, as is his relationship with Konoha. Yamato is happy where he is, whatever it seems to others.
"We just want you to be happy," Sai says eventually, voice low. Yamato sips at his sake and nods slowly.
"I know," he murmurs, pride at the person who Sai has become welling in his chest. "I know."
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He's nine months and two days into this round of his assignment, and Orochimaru does something Yamato doesn't know how to explain.
"We're going to Konoha," Orochimaru announces brightly, setting down a tea tray at the base of Yamato's chosen tree. Yamato raises an eyebrow, unsure how to approach this flagrant breaking of the silent treaty they have.
Orochimaru's known from the start that Yamato's been following him, of course he has. Yamato hasn't tried to hide it when it's just the two of them and he can afford to be seen. They haven't interfered in each others' lives until now, and it makes Yamato wonder what exactly Orochimaru is up to.
"You still have a few weeks left before your annual break, so I figured I'd help you out." Orochimaru is smiling, actually smiling, and Yamato lets the tree guide him to the ground, taking one of the tea cups. He sips, belatedly considering the fact it's poison, but that's not Orochimaru's style.
"Have you decided to become a philanthropist," Yamato says, and Orochimaru's smile widens.
"I have business – legal, neutral business at that. You can come oversee it if you really like," Orochimaru offers. "I find it admirable you spend most of your life following me, all for a village that seems to have turned its back on you. They know who I am to you and sent you here anyway?"
Yamato laughs at that, and Orochimaru actually looks taken aback.
"I know Konoha didn't treat you well," Yamato says, and Orochimaru's gaze sharpens. "I want to be here. The cruellest thing they could do is keep me in the village. I'm useful, like this. I'm at peace like this."
Orochimaru doesn't say anything, and they sit in silence for a long while. Yamato finishes his tea politely and sets the cup down.
"You don't have people back at the village waiting for you?" Orochimaru asks, his eyes gazing far into the forest around them. Perhaps he's remembering the people he left behind, and perhaps he regrets that. Yamato isn't Orochimaru, though, and he shakes his head a little.
"I do. They're all very dear to me, they're my family. We all have our own lives to live, though, and maybe one day this will be too much, or someone will want to leave the village – I don't know what the future will bring. I miss them, but I can't sacrifice parts of myself." Yamato looks down at his hands on his lap, and Orochimaru hums, a noise of quiet contemplation.
"I never thought the bridges to the past could be left open," he says, and Yamato half-closes his eyes
"You're an all-or-nothing type of person, aren't you?" Yamato says, and Orochimaru laughs.
"You're a dabbler," he says, and sets a hand heavily on Yamato's shoulder. "We're still going to Konoha. Make of that what you wish."
Yamato thinks that this might just be Orochimaru's extension of kindness, and the thought doesn't carry with it betrayal or anger, as it would have just a handful of years ago. The world is a different place now, and while Orochimaru is still a criminal, even he has softened, in his own way.
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True to his word, Orochimaru's business is above the bar and all 100% legal. It's actually boring, Yamato admits to himself as he ducks behind a bush, and he's started a game that Orochimaru seems to have caught onto. If they make eye contact, Yamato loses, but he's not allowed to hide properly. It's kept him entertained through an otherwise mediocre day.
They stay overnight in an inn on the outskirts. Orochimaru doesn't even bother to mask himself, but offers a hefty bribe instead. The innkeeper looks anxiously to Yamato, who is more of an escort at this stage of the evening, and he just shrugs. The worst they could do is report to the Hokage, and Yamato has that one covered. They take the money, and Orochimaru leads them to their room.
"I refuse to share a bed with you," Yamato says bluntly when he sees the room. He crosses his arms over his chest, ignoring the eyeroll that is sent his way.
"You won't be sharing anything with me. You must have better things to do than hover while I relax. I promise I won't go anywhere or do anything for the next three days." Orochimaru holds his hands up, and Yamato really wishes he was more suspicious. He honestly believes Orochimaru. "Put a clone in the corner, track me with a seed, whatever. I'm here for the onsen and food."
He begins settling in, and Yamato wonders when his life became this bizarre. He knows, distantly, that it was the war, or perhaps what happened when he was a child. It almost seems he shares a fondness with Orochimaru for each other, and Yamato is happy to accept it at face value.
He still sticks a clone in the wall and a tracking seed on Orochimaru, but there's not much heart in it. This new world is for a different generation, and it seems they're all content to let themselves fade into the background.
Orochimaru ties his hair back as Yamato prepares to leave, and Yamato pauses.
"A family is a funny thing," Yamato offers, not quite sure they are the right words, but they don't feel wrong either. He meets Orochimaru's eyes for a moment, and then he leaves through the window, heart hammering in his chest. He doesn't really know why.
There are plenty of places Yamato could go, and many things he could do, but there is only one thing that he truly wants. It's muggy enough that his uniform clings to his skin, and Yamato sighs, pausing in the deserted street. He feels as if he could lose his mind here, like this, alone on a random street in his home village, and for a moment, he considers it. He considers letting paranoia and fear and hatred bubble over him, consume him.
He focuses, shakes his head. Less of that, he murmurs, and Yamato begins walking again. There are reasons why he doesn't come back to Konoha, and he's always overwhelmed the first few steps he takes alone.
Yamato continues on, smiling as a crowd of people call raucously from a restaurant. He doesn't know them, they don't know him, but he waves back. They laugh, and Yamato feels lighter.
He cuts across a green space, then makes his way down two more streets, circles around an abandoned store house and finally reaches the slightly shabby apartment block he's come to regard as home. It's a brick base, far from the wood of the forest, and the difference does settle in Yamato's bones. There is a courtyard, and in the centre is a tree he loves dearly, and the apartment he heads to looks directly out to it.
The sun is lowering itself in the sky when Yamato enters the apartment. There's a sweet smell in the air, all the windows thrown wide open and the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen. It feels like home, and Yamato doesn't hesitate to call out his welcome.
The world pauses for just a moment, and then Kakashi's head pokes itself around the corner, eyes crinkled in a smile.
"Welcome home."
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Here's how they work.
10/12 months of the year, Yamato is tracking arguably the most notorious criminal Konoha has ever put out into the world. The other two he spends here, in the apartment overlooking the walnut tree he shares with Kakashi.
12/12 months Kakashi is the Hokage. He doesn't get two months off, he hardly gets two days back-to-back, but he always returns to the apartment overlooking the walnut tree he shares with Yamato.
Neither of them ask the other to compromise, they never have and never will. Yamato can't think of anything more terrible than dragging Kakashi with him, and knows Kakashi would never force him to stay. They've been in this for too long together not to understand how they work separately and together.
Yamato is sitting at the table reading the latest paper when Kakashi joins him. The windows are still open, and a breeze rolls through their home. Moments like these are times Yamato wishes he knew how to stop time.
"I didn't think I'd see you so soon," Kakashi says, and Yamato looks up, smiling softly.
"Orochimaru's resting on the outskirts of Konoha for a few days. If he does so much as roll over in his sleep, I'll know." Yamato sets the paper down, his attention on Kakashi. He looks tired, but don't they all these days. That's just part of getting old.
"You know I don't mind," Kakashi admits, and it's the part of Kakashi that can never be the Hokage, to speak something like that aloud.
He takes Yamato's hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. Yamato curls his fingers, stroking the smooth skin of Kakashi's chin, and he feels his heart soar. He belongs here as much as he belongs in the forest, and always will.
Kakashi begins filling him in on the stories he's missed, and Yamato listens to every word, letting it flow through him and fill him to the brim. He's half-asleep by the time Kakashi pulls him up by the armpits, and Yamato yawns, leaning into him.
"Bedtime," Kakashi whispers, and Yamato doesn't have the fight in him to attempt to disagree He has more than one night here; it's plenty of time to say what he couldn't tonight.
They sleep in a bed Yamato made for them, carved from wood and huge. Despite the space, they curl together in the centre, as if they were one. It's the best night sleep Yamato has had in a long while.
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Everything has its time and place. The wind whips the leaves of the walnut tree into a frenzy, and Yamato knows it's his time to leave. Kakashi is still sleeping, and he learnt long ago better than to try and sneak away. He wakes Kakashi with a kiss to the forehead, and Kakashi smiles sleepily, blinking awake slowly.
"You're leaving," he comments, and Yamato nods. Kakashi pulls him down for a kiss, a soft, gentle thing that leaves Yamato tingling.
"I'll be back soon," Yamato replies, smoothing Kakashi's hair back. They're both softer by the light of the rising sun, and they've shared enough of these moments to appreciate every second. Kakashi looks beautiful in the sunlight, and Yamato kisses him, slow and soft.
"Things are settling," Kakashi murmurs, and Yamato looks at him curiously. His heart pounds, and while he knows the last thing Kakashi will ask for is for him to sacrifice a part of himself, Yamato can't help but worry for the briefest of moments.
"I should be able to get at least a week's time off. As long as I am contactable in cases of emergency…" Kakashi trails off to a smile. "I was hoping you could show me some of your world."
Yamato's breath catches in his throat, and he wonders how he ever got so lucky to have Kakashi in his life. He feels all of 17 again, hopeful and unsure, though he knows they're in this relationship for the long run now.
He'll be back in time for the walnut harvest, and Yamato slips out of the door, walking backwards until he can no longer see Kakashi's figure at the window frame.
He's still smiling when he recalls his clone and Orochimaru looks up from where he's sitting drinking tea. His bags are packed, and Yamato nods politely, thanking him for the full cup steaming on his side of the table.
"There's a business opportunity that has opened up across Suna. We'll be leaving within the hour." Yamato nods, and he knows they've turned over another page in their relationship. He can hide and pretend all he wants, but Yamato has these bonds for a reason. The people in his life are there because, no matter how it seems, he wants them there.
There aren't a lot of people that will understand, especially these days. Yamato takes a sip of tea, looking out of the window. Konoha is still waking up, and they will be long gone before they can be noticed.
But he'll be back. Always, Yamato will return.