Yo! Tenshiko here! This is just a dumb idea I randomly thought up one day. Enjoy!
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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. I'm just borrowing characters and settings for entertainment purposes.
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Icha Icha Paradise
Hatake Kakashi paused, one leg outstretched, and stared down at the little orange book in his hands.
"It can't be! No, I definitely will not believe that Momiji slept with Shizuka for a dare! The love was there! I saw it!"
And with that, he sped off back to his apartment to finish reading his little orange book (aka Icha Icha Paradise) even though he was supposed to be meeting his team in negative two hours, which means he was already TWO HOURS LATE!!
Meanwhile at Training Ground 3, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura waited patiently for their Jounin sensei to come and begin their new training exercise, of which no one but the man himself knew about.
Uzumaki Naruto sat nearby, content to Mexican Cup Dance with his unopened lunch, which so happened to be 5 cups of ramen in assorted flavours. He had created 4 clones, and they were cupping in a circle.
"Tap tap tap-pi-ty tap tap tap, tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Tap tap tap-pi-ty tap tap tap, tap tap tap tap tap tap tap, AND AGAIN! (that bit was Naruto) TAP TAP TA –"
"NA. RU. TOOOOOOOOOOO!"
PWN! PWN! PWN! All four clones were quickly dispelled and the real Naruto sent flying, blood flowing freely from his nose.
Shoulders hunched, jaw clicking and veins ticking in her temple, Sakura seethed.
"Sakura-chan…" Naruto whined.
"I. Hate. Cups."
Just those three simple words were enough to send the blond genin running with his tail between his legs, but he stuck it out, just in case some rogue ninja so happened to pass and take a fancy to his favourite Sakura-chan…then he'd beat the crap out of them.
"You two are so immature."
That bit was Sasuke. Sakura quickly turned and gave Sasuke her best smile, which she had, of course, practised every day in the mirror. Ten after breakfast and ten before bed.
"Ah ha ha, Sasuke-kun, you're so funny! Now, where is that Kakashi-sensei? He's always late isn't he? I wonder where he could be! Ah ha ha…"
"Hn."
Sakura drooped. Why doesn't Sasuke-kun like me[Shannaro!
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan. He's probably just reading his perverted books again. But I still don't understand what's so good about those stupid books; they're so boring…"
Flashback
Naruto bent over, and peered closer at the bright orange book, lying so innocently on his sensei's bedside table. What he was doing in Kakashi's apartment, one can't be sure. Probably installing alarm clocks. But whatever it was was quickly forgotten.
"I LIKE orange!" Naruto announced to…no one. He promptly flicked through the book until he found the page that had been marked by the owner, and began to read.
To say Naruto was surprised would be an understatement. In fact, to say that Naruto was HORRIFIED would be an understatement. There just weren't (and aren't) any words to describe Naruto's reaction to what he was seeing.
Face bright red, he immediately slammed the book back down on its resting place. What kind of person would want to see pictures like that? Although, now that he thought back to it, he really didn't understand all that many words…maybe he should get someone to explain them to him? Someone who wouldn't question him about reasons. But who…
Shikamaru was smart, lazy, and maybe a little too predictable. Naruto found him lying in a field staring at the sky with a glazed expression.
"SHIKAMARU!! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!!"
Okay, so predictable to most of us.
"Geez, Naruto, stop being so loud. It's troublesome, but I'm going to answer whatever your question is so you can leave me alone."
"Shikamaru! You're such a good friend!"
"Geez, so troublesome…"
"So, um, Shikamaru, you have to promise not to tell anyone about what I'm asking, okay? You promise?"
Shikamaru perked up a little at this. "Yeah, okay?"
"Well, um, it's just that…uh, what's a…?"
Shikamaru's eyes grew wide, and his face reddened, starting from his chin and working its way up.
"It's troublesome, but…do your sexy jutsu."
"Huh? Is that what it is?"
"No, no. I'm going to SHOW you what it is. Or at least, you're going to show you what it is."
"Oh, okay! I don't really get it but…Oiroke no Jutsu!"
POOF! The atmosphere changed, bringing with it much clouds, sparkles, and a female, pig-tailed Naruto. Nude of course.
"Like this?"
"Yeah, but can you get rid of the clouds?"
Naruto narrowed his eyes at Shikamaru, but acquiesced.
"Now, take a good look at your crotch."
Naruto bent over and stared. And stared. And stared.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT WAS WHAT IT WAS?! I NEVER EVEN NOTICED IT WAS THERE!"
Shikamaru sweatdropped. "What do you mean you never noticed it? How could you NOT notice; I mean, it's kind of…different isn't it?"
End flashback
"And that is exactly what happened," Naruto concluded, nodding seriously. Unfortunately, his eyes were still closed so he didn't notice Sakura's fist coming at him.
"BAKAYAROU!!!" Once again, Sakura was seething.
"Hn. Usuratonkachi."
POOF!
"Yo!" The sensei who had caused all the trouble in the first place (namely Kakashi) landed casually on a tree branch, lone visible eye in a rainbow shape. "Sorry I'm late; I got lost on the path of life!"
"LIAR!"
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Hope you liked it! Please leave a review and let me know whether or not I should continue! Thankyou very much!
