AN: My first Person of Interest fan-fiction. Revised edition.

Summary: Reese persuades Cater to come back for one more case that involves catching Elias. Carter and Reese team to investigate the new POI Nadia Ali, a young girl that may be connect back to Elias' past and his present undoing.

Aubade

"Ask me again in 500 years
If death on my doorstep tingled my fears
If pleas for clean shadows had any chance at all
If underground love got lost, lost in that fog."

-"Underground Love" by and the giraffe

Chapter 1

New York in late spring was magical, the sun shining the temperature warm. A cool breeze to remind you that it was still early before the scorching heat took it's place. There will be many who disagree, but to each his own thought Carter.

Carter loved it because of the air of optimism it provided, the bustle of the usually brooding city comes alive with people's moods changing to accompany the good weather. They needed more hope, They had to look forward. After all she's seen she needs to believe that there is a chance to be normal, do good, give back, and simply live for those you love. There had to be room for redemption, because she believed that people can change.

It wasn't easy to be hopeful, she'll admit that it took a lot out of her to be working homicide, but then she'd experienced worse. Dwelling on the past she realized all to quickly, did nothing but hold you back in a dark web that consumed you with regret, anger, old pains, and a completely new pain that formed from it all. The moment she decided to let go she saw hope, in her son, the possibilities in her work, life and the world.

So why on earth would she go and risk all that she worked so hard to bring to balance by joining forces with the likes of John Reese, and the laconic Mr. Finch? Because she wasn't blind, she saw the world for what it was along with the possibilities of beauty it offered. She knew all about the corruption, the bribes, the cover ups; but she also knew this has been going on for centuries. She'd be foolish to think that the forefathers of this great nation were all honest men and they built this land on the principle that it now preached and still managed to become a world power in only a short 250 years.

But she believed that there were good people in the mix, and that morality was something we all had within us some used it more than others. She didn't agree with all that her new 'associates' did but she had to admit it was something to behold to see families reunited, someone looking at you with humble gratitude instead of the cold story you read on them when they're just lifeless bodies.

Then there was the excitement that it brought her, testing of waters if you will. She would never take things into her own hands (unless of course someone harmed her son, which she realized was a double standard.) But this particular situation allowed her to dip a toe onto the other side. She'd never admit it to anyone else, but she was a thrill seeker, there was a reason for everything she did, and she imagined that so did her two new associates.

It wasn't that she didn't trust John, it was more the precaution with which she lived her life after the army, after all the disappoints and betrayals (however small they may be, were still betrayals) of life she learned to depend on herself and herself only. She was a diligent worker, but she knew better than to believe all the bullshit that got sent her way by her superiors. She trusted her 'Man in the Suit' more than anyone she has in a very long time.

She was indebted to him after all for saving her life. She owed him for almost costing his. She wasn't sure of anything just yet, she wasn't this curiously lost since her teenage years. And who didn't like seeing an ex CIA operative come out of a burning car trunk with humor to spare? One thing Jocelyn wasn't and that was naïve, one day the chase will be on again for John, but for now she was willing to work with him, rather than against. The greater good out weighing the need to put him behind bars for the chaos that he cause.

Or so she thought until a good cop got shot. She was all too aware of the look on his face when she said she couldn't do it anymore, and in that moment she meant it, she still meant it, meeting today only because she was interested in catching Elias. Or at least that's what she told herself, she wasn't sure she believed it.

When John called her, she was apprehensive about whether or not she should even meet him, but finding Elias was important to her especially after all that man put her through. He'd taken a shot at her, tried to rile her up, almost had her taken out. She wasn't lying to Fusco when she told him that Szymanski had asked her out, they had in the past had some flirtations but it wasn't until they started planning the take down of Elias that they really connected. She wasn't in love with the guy or anything, but she did like him, respect him, he was good at his job and apparently one of he few still left on the clean side. She felt partially responsible for him being in the hospital with a gun shot to the gut, the fact that he survived the surgery after losing all that blood was a miracle. It seems like she's been doing that a lot, getting good men shot.

To add to the things haunting her on a daily basis, she now had her superiors asking for answers about the shooting. No turning back were the words John used when he initiated her, and how true were those words now. There was no news of Moretti, no body, and even if there was one it could have been neatly tucked away without the police ever getting wind of it. The more likely scenario being that he was probably being kept a prisoner and tortured by his own son. What has the world come to?

Sighing, she pushed her aviators down over her eyes as she breathed in the sea breeze and felt the sun kiss her skin, pouring her thoughts into the air. They arranged a meeting down in south street seaport. She was surprised by the anticipation she felt in the pit of her stomach, it's been a long time since she felt dread and nervousness. Facing the water she left her mind to drift some more, unaware of him standing behind her.

He watched her for a long couple of minutes, it had been a few weeks since the day Moretti was kidnapped because of him, and Szymanski was shot. A long three weeks since the way she asked him to leave, since she said she couldn't do it anymore. He saw the fear behind her eyes for the man on the ground and it was at that moment he realized there is was more between them. He couldn't explain the feeling he felt at that moment, those 20 seconds were really paralyzing and he hadn't felt that helpless in a long time. He let her down, he in many words betrayed her.

When the new number came and after Finch's usual digging they found that this number might be connected to Elias, he felt like he finally had a reason for contacting her, for coming out of the shadows to explain himself. He'd watched her visit Szymanski at the hospital every day religiously, the worry and guilt plastered on her face every time. There was that feeling in his gut every time.

"Detective, bliss suits you."

He always had a way of saying things that made her roll her eyes, smile, and contemplate. His voice was so smooth and it was curious how he could make that smoothness both warm and cold. She turned her body just so towards his direction, lips curving only slightly into a smile.

"If only," She stated flatly, she wasn't angry at him, just disappointed in the events that led to this, she can't say she was surprised. Hell he even warned her about it. Maybe she just didn't want to see it. "John."

"Joss, I'm sorry," he stated hand digging into the pocket of his pants. "I did what I had to save Leila."

This was the second time he called her name. The other was when he saved her life, told her even if she didn't like him he'd be there for her, that she wasn't alone-she liked him from the time she saw him take care of those punks on the subway footage.

"I know, but there are consequences to everything," she sighed again folding her hand together over the railing. "the law is there for a reason."

He didn't always agree with her views on the law, but he suspected she didn't believe it a hundred percent of it herself. "There was nothing the police could have done to save her, I'm sorry for what happened but I did what I thought had to be done."

"I know." She just wished he'd trusted her to tell her what he was doing.

They stood in silence, she knew he was sorry, that he felt like he betrayed her, and she felt that he had as well, but then she reasoned that she would have done the same in his position. The greater good.

"Joss, I will fix this," he stated. "But I need your help."

She turned to him then, "What do you need from me?"

He turned his face away from her watching a ship pass in the distance, a smile curved on his lips. If only she knew the implications of that question, if only he could tease her about it like before. But he was back to business. "I need you to look up a cold case file that might be related to our new person of interest." Handing her the piece of paper with the name.

"Mark Smith, Nadia Ali?" She read, but it was a question for more information.

He smiled fully now, ever observant, ever curious, his Detective. He felt guilty sometimes for keeping contact, for pulling her back into a world that he can only imagine she tried very hard to put behind her. The politics of the army were brutal as he remembered it, and the politics in the NYPD just as bad, maybe even more so with corruption that seem to run havoc, they needed more people like her who walked in the light. But he liked her company (whenever they met), her input, her position in the legal system.

He did take some comfort in that he will always be there to protect her. He will try his hardest at least to keep her safe, after all he was human, and all too aware of the fact for various reasons. It's been a long time since he felt purpose, that he interacted with others beyond the basic necessities, and now he had Finch, Carter, and even Fusco was something.

Watching her enjoying the sun just minutes earlier reminded him of a time in his life when seeing that look on a woman's face made his heart swell. Jessica was a permanent scar on his soul, what happened to her was his fault, and he would never get over it. It has been a long time since he felt this much need to protect someone, as he felt with Carter, and along with that he felt himself let Jessica go a little everyday. She had once told him that the shadows we keep around ourselves can only over take us if we let them, an answer to his question of how she managed with the death that surrounded her. He was more than aware of her capabilities, but even then he had thoughts and dreams haunt him. He worried about her.

He realized the moment he had arrived at the safe house where Moretti was being kept that he had fucked up royally. He still couldn't get the look she gave him out of his head, the way her lips trembled and panic took over her whole body. Saying he was sorry wasn't enough and asking her to come back wasn't fair, but then he had warned her that there was no turning back. He felt guilt for taking the normal life she built for her son and herself and pushing her into the dark deep end of things. But he needed her.

He wanted to be normal so badly, he had wanted that with Jessica. Leila brought back thoughts of when he and Jessica talked about the possibilities, about children, about family and home. He accepted that his life will be nothing more than what it is now. He reminded himself that just months ago he was living in the streets scraping up enough for cheap gin, life was good compared to that. Turning to the woman beside him, he filled her in on their newest number.

"Nadia Ali, 25 years old, her parents are immigrants from India, she's a bright girl attending Columbia medical. But she does have some indiscretions from the past. She used to work under a Madame in an escort service involved in a murder. Her clients included Manhattan's elite and not so elite. Her name came up on the witness list in the murder of wall street high baller, Mark Smith. But there wasn't enough evidence to solve the case. But right after that she left the escort service."

Carter looked out into the water again, "At least she got out."

John thought that for a second the look on her face was a brush on what they were really doing. He had been an metaphorical escort for the better part of his life, though it was never about the money for him. "You never really get out from those kinds of arrangements." As he found out later from his experience with the CIA, but even if you managed to get out to live, the scars it leaves were a whole didn't thing.

"What do they have to do with Elias?" She didn't touch his last statement, because she knew he was right.

"Apparently Nadia was a student of Elias back when he was teaching english, as Charlie Burton."

"That's not a very solid connection." She sighed.

"She's been in the business, and can probably assist us in some way."

"It's a long shot, but even a small crack is something." Carter pursed her lips and gave a short nod, "I'll look into it and get back to you. Try to enjoy the weather John, it's a shame to waste a day like this hiding in the shadows."

"Will do detective," He said as he leaned further into the railing to watch her leave, watching the navy silk shirt she wore dance around her in the light breeze, pushing and pulling against her small form, the glint of her badge around her neck catching his eyes. Carter was shorter than Jessica. Jessica was slender and all legs, but she was a different kind of woman from Carter. Her hair blowing onto her face she gave one last nod his way before she walked away.

He found himself watching her more and more, he was like an older brother type looking out for her, but when he found himself comparing Jessica to Carter it occurred to him that brother types didn't do that. Older brother types didn't dream of their pseudo sisters, didn't wonder about the soft glowing skin they came wrapped in. He turned towards the water and closed his eyes to take a moment. He was slipping into that dangerous ground where he wanted to be normal, and he was pulling the wrong person into his unsafe fantasy.

She turned again and saw him taker her advice, smiling she walked on. There was just too much mystery for her to solve, too much intrigue in John and what he did. She scolder herself for a second for her actions and the consequences, but the curiosity won over. This was risky what she was delving into, but she couldn't help herself which was even more unnerving for her. But if it got her Elias then she was in is what she told herself, but there was this voice that said something else, or rather a name.

John.

TBC

Please review, critique, and suggest! Thank you for reading! Also if anyone would like to offer their beta reading services I'd appreciate it!