Note: 20mn write, too many feelings after losing someone, bear with me, dear readers.
His hair is soft under my hand. The long golden strands are a stark contrast to the rough patch of skin right beneath, as I brush over it, staring at him. His head resting in my lap, there is nothing but peace gracing his features.
We had made it.
We had made it through Wammy's, through the Kira case, through being geniuses left with no practical experience of life in the real world.
And we had aced it.
We had moved in together, healed together, grown up together. We had learned to play the life game together, with all the bonuses. Best friendship, trust, love. Unconditional love. Everlasting love. Beautiful love...
Your aquamarine blue eyes lit up from the moment you were free to be yourself, long ago, but it feels like yesterday that I told you you were mine and a simple call of your name made you feel at home in my arms.
It feels so close, the places we went together before we settled for good, it feels so real I can still taste the salt of tears as we didn't know what tomorrow would be made of.
Our tomorrows were made of you and me. Just that, as simple as that. I just had to find you there and the world could beat me up a little more, and it was okay.
You made it all okay, you made it all worth it.
Worth this difficult passage to adulthood. Finding who I was was a long road, but I walked it beside you as you gave me purpose, as you accepted my mistakes without judgement, as you let me grow up into who I was supposed to be, never once trying to change me.
I never expected you to be so free, you, the most enslaved of Wammy's orphans.
We started from zero, because you knew better than taking our shattered childhood as a foundation to growing up.
A new set of cards, unknown rules, and oh fuck did we have no game.
But you, Mello, never cheat. You broke the rules and made new ones, you made it fair for everyone.
Oh boy did they lit up, those ice blue eyes. Wide open, half lidded, winking, they were my dope.
I could have lived on all those emotions passing through them, because you were never a talker, so I relied on your looks, your thousands of looks, to decipher you.
And right now, the peace is contagious. I feel serene as I caress his lips with mine, as my hand falls back on my side.
I bring it to his face one last time, closing his eyelids. This chapter is over. The pain is sharp, but I want to set aside any feeling of not being able to go on without him.
Slamming this book shut just when he gave me the whole table of content, not going to the end of this story... no, that's not how it ends.
That's not how love stories end. They just never end.
Note: the he/you shift is intentional.