*Authors note* This is basically a drunken one shot so I have no idea how its going to turn out. If it turns out horrible blame the Crown Royal, not me! ;) P.S. Yes I did make the title "Merle Finds A Girl" because it rhymes GET OVER IT ;D
Merle Finds A Girl
"Hey! What the hells the hold up?" I yelled out the window to the truck infront of mine that decided to fucking stop. Darlinas glaring at me, but fuck it I couldn't care less. I decided to get out of the truck and motioned for Daryl to do the same. I walked up to the window of the Dodge Ram ahead of us only to see one of the hottest women I've ever laid eyes on. "Well damn sugar, if I knew ya was so cute I wouldn't have yelled at ya." I muttered to her. "Well it ain't my fault all the cars infront of me stopped, the fuck do ya want me to do? Move 'em with my jedi mind powers? Fuckin' asshole." She spat at me. She said it so confidently. I noticed Daryl snickering at her words. "Hey now sweetheart, no need to get hostile. Why don't we go off in the bushes somewhere and make up? We can bump some uglies." I told her as I laughed. She started getting out of her car. Looks like ol' Merles gettin' lucky. Before I knew what was happenin' the bitch fuckin' decked me in the face. It wasn't no bitch hit either. She got me pretty damn good, I fell to the ground. My nose was clearly broken. "Holy shit, I like this girl already." Darlina muttered to me. "Daryl Dixon." He said as he grinned at her and held out his hand. "Emma Tyler." She said happily as she shook his hand. After a moment I finally got up off the ground. "Who's this asshole?" She asked him as she pointed to me. "My brother Merle, gotta say you've got a pretty good hit. Hell, most grown men can't even take him down." Daryl admitted to her. She began to laugh. "She caught me off gaurd." I muttered as I glared to Daryl. "Okay, well how 'bout now that you're on gaurd I knock ya on yer ass again?" She asked hostily as she glared at me. Shit, this girls crazy. I like it. "You're fuckin' crazy, I like it." I admitted to her as I grinned at her and looked her up and down. "And you''re a fuckin' pig, wanna stop lookin' at me like that?" She spat at me as she crossed her arms and gave me the death stare. Daryl seemed to think this was just hilarious because he couldn't help but to laugh. "So Daryl, where you boys headed?" She asked changing the tone in her voice completely. "Uh, Atlanta I guess." He told her. "Ya think it's safe?" She asked. "I don't know, hope so." He said quietly. "Well if ya want you guys can ride with me, its always good to have someone to watch my back. Just keep your asshole brother in line." She offered as she glared at me. "Oh so ya do wanna fuck me, huh?" I asked giving her a cocky smile. She gave me the meanest look I've ever seen before turning to look Daryl in the eye and sayin' "I'd rather fuck yer brother over here, sorry sweetheart." Daryls face turned eighty shades of red. So se wants to fuck Daryl? Fine, fuckin' bitch.
After a minute of silence she spoke again. "Well are you boys gonna get yer shit in my truck or are we just gonna stand around waiting for the geeks all night?" She asked sounding slightly annoyed. "Oh, uh, yeah." Daryl said as he started getting our stuff out of the truck. I followed after him. "Can't believe a girl that hot wants to fuck me." Daryl muttered quietly to me. I couldn't help but glare at him. "Now baby brother y'know she's just tryin' to make ol' Merle jealous." I told him as I forced a huge grin onto my face. I know he's probably right, but I ain't lettin' her get away that easy. "Merle I know she don't want ya, but if ya want her you can have her. Not like anyone's gonna want yer ugly ass anyways." He muttered to me as he chuckled to himself and walked over to her truck. Once all our stuff was in the truck she got in and looked from me to Daryl. "So who's riding up front with me and who's taking the back seats?" She asked. "I'll go in the back." Daryl muttered as he nodded to me. Well shit thanks baby brother, I owe him one. I heard Emma groan a little, but after we got in she seemed to loosen up a little. She put in a CD and began changing the track. I didn't get to see what CD it was, but I'm sure it was some girly shit. To my surprise it was Motorhead and she put on my favourite song, Fast And Loose. I was even more surprised when she began singing along.
"Two o'clock in the morinin', baby. I know it's late, I know it's late. I'm young and I like the night and I can make you feel all right. I've been around for quite a while and I've learned how to make you smile. I know you won't refuse. You know I'm fast and loose. Two o'clock in the morinin', sugar. I know you're sleepin', you must be sleepin'. Why don't you invite me in get yourself some original sin. I'll wake you up and stay in bed don't get up, get down instead. I don't need no excuse you like it fast and loose, no remorse. Two o'clock in the morinin', honey let me in, baby let me in. You know me, you know I'm wired. I'm gonna stop you from feeling tired. I'm coming over and I won't be long, just let me finish writing this song. I'm gonna light your fuse. I know you like it fast and loose. Fast and loose..." About halfway through Daryl and I started singin' along too. Once the song ended I realized how perfect this girl was. "Its official, I'm in love." I muttered. Fuck I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. Fucking fuck. Emma turned to me with an amused look on her face, but she let my comment slide. "I take it you boys like that song?" She asked casually. Man, she's perfect. She even knows not to pry. "Its my favourite." I muttered. "You got good taste." She admitted. "You have no idea sugar." I said slyly as I winked at her. She began to laugh, for once something I said made her laugh instead of pissing her off. At least I'm headed in the right direction. "So when the cars start movin' are we still headed to Atlanta?" She asked. "I don't know darlin'." I said. "I'm gonna go get out and talk to the others 'round here, see what they know." She said as she began to get out of the truck. "Go with her Merle, ain't safe for a lady to be walkin' 'round here alone." Daryl said loud enough for her to hear. She turned to us. "I assure you I'll be fine, but feel free to come anyways. Hunting knives are in the glovebox, take what ya need." She told me as she got out of the truck. When I opened the glovebox it was literaly over flowing with hunting knives. "Holy shit." I muttered as I grabbed one. "Holy shit is right." Daryl said. I quickly got out of the car and followed her. She was talkin' to some guy who had a bitch and a kid with him. "Merle this is Officer Shane Walsh, he'd like us to follow him and a few others up to the quarry since Atlanta belongs to the dead." She told me. It was clear she was mocking him when she called him Officer Shane Walsh. He probably introduced himself as Officer Shane Walsh, that's pretty douchey. I nodded. "Well I usually ain't one for trustin' pigs, but what choice do we have?" I muttered as I began to walk back to the truck with her.
When we got in Emma began to laugh. "Wow, that man and his bitch really are some of the biggest douches I've ever met. He introduced himself as 'Officer Shane Walsh' as if that matters then his bitch was glarin' at me the whole time. If it weren't for the kid there I woulda knocked her on her ass." She told us as she continued to laugh. Daryl looked up with an amused look on his face and we all were laughing. "She probably caught her boyfriend checkin' ya out er somethin', yer much hotter than that skinny bitch." I told her. "Well I did catch him starin' at me a few times." She admitted as she smiled at me. "See? What did I tell ya darlin'?" I told her as I gave her a wink. "Alright cowboy, well they're drivin' now. We should start driving." She told me as she started the truck up and followed Officer Shanes car. Once we got to the camp Shane organized some group meeting. "Alright y'all, set up camp tonight then in the mornin' we'll organize jobs. The woman can divide the household chores between them and the men can decide who's on gaurd duty and whatnot." He explained. "I ain't doin' laundry all day." Emma exclaimed. Shane raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah? Then what do you plan on doing all day?" He asked her cockily. "I'm goin' huntin'. We need food more than we need our fuckin' laundry done. Besides I've been huntin' since I was nine. I've got a crossbow, I'll be fine." She told him as she gave him a cold glare. "Fine, but if you don't come back with anything tomorrow you're on laundry duty." He challenged. "Okay officer douche bag." She muttered as she walked to her truck and began rummaging through her stuff. I couldn't help but to follow her. "Hey darlin', ya got a tent?" I asked her. "No, I was just gonna sleep in the backseats of my truck." She told me as she gave me a small smile. "Nah, that ain't happenin'. Why don't ya come share a tent with me and my baby brother?" I asked her. She hesitated for a moment before saying anything. "Alright, thanks redneck." She said happily as she grabbed some bags out of her truck and followed me to where Daryl was setting up out tent. "We got a new room mate." I explained to him. He gave me a nod. "Thank God you're settin' up away from officer fuck face." She muttered. I couldn't help but to chuckle. "Ya sure got a mouth on ya girly." I pointed out. "Oh, you have no idea." She said slyly as she winked at me and walked into the tent. Damn girl.
After a while I heard Emma gettin' up and leavin' the tent so I followed her. She was sittin' at a small campfire alone openin' a bottle of Southern Comfort. She heard me walkin' and turned around to face me. "Want a drink?" She asked as she held up the bottle. "Shit yes." I said as I sat down beside her. She took a long swig out of the bottle without it even seeming to phase her. After that she passed it to me and I did the same. It went back and forth like that in silence for a while before either one of us spoke. "So why ya such an asshole Merle?" She asked me as she chuckled a little. "I tend to get like that with girls I wanna fuck, nothin' personal darlin'." I told her as I smirked at her. Before I even knew what she was doin' she was kissin' me. Man, girls are confusing. I ain't complainin' though. Once we stopped kissing she looked at me for a minute while she bit her lip. "Wanna go back to the tent and bump some uglies?" She asked as she smirked at me. "Shit yes." I muttered as we got up and went back to the tent. Lets hope Darlinas still a heavy sleeper.
When I woke up I could hardly remember what happened after the kiss last night, but when I saw Emma layin' beside me with her arms wrapped around me and mine around her I remembered. "Well good mornin'." I muttered to her as her eyes opened. She smiled at me. "Good mornin'." She muttered as she gave me a kiss. When she started to get up I held her even tighter. "Not yet." I muttered. Well this was a first, for the first time in my life after I fucked a girl I actually wanted her to stay with me the next mornin'. She let out a sigh. "I gotta piss, but I'll come right back. Stay there." She told me as she kissed my cheek and left the tent. Once she was gone I heard Daryl stirring. "Ya fuck her?" He asked in a tired voice. "Yeah." I told him. "Well she's a keeper, don't do nothin' stupid." He muttered before rolling over and falling back asleep. I wasn't gonna do anything to lose this girl, she's fuckin' perfect. Once she came back into the tent she layed down with me. "I gotta go huntin' in a bit and Shane wants you to go to Atlanta for supplies, said you'd be good for some muscle." She explained to me. "Alright darlin', I'll go as long as ya promise to be here waitin' for me when I get back." I told her. She leaned in and kissed me before she spoke. "Deal." She said happily as she got up and started gettin' dressed. A short while after I left to Atlanta.
Its been about a day since we went to Atlanta. I've been on this God damn roof for half a hour now. I can't be stuck here forever, I can't. I need to get back to Emma and Daryl. I'm gonna fuckin' kill that pig Officer Friendly when I get back. I hope my baby brothers takin' care of Em for me. I need to get outta here. If I can reach that saw I can maybe cut the cuffs. Gotta try and get it with my belt. Shit I missed. After five or six more trys I finally got the saw. Shit its too fucking dull for these cuffs. The dead are at the door, I ain't got time for this. It won't cut the cuffs in time. There's only one thing I can do. I gotta cut off my own hand. Its the only way to get back to her and Darlina. I gotta do it ..