Summary: Wishing everyone a very Sexis Christmas! Since the current regime doesn't do family or happy holiday seasons anymore - you have to ask what Grinch at ABC Daytime thought kidnapping baby Spencer for the holidays was a good idea - I decided to give some of the citizens of Port Charles a Merry Christmas all on my own. Featuring Sonny and Alexis of course, with what really is, their extended family - something that TPTB refuse to acknowledge. Carly, Jax, Nikolas, Emily are all there for Alexis this holiday season and a little sprinkle of Jason and Liz thrown in - just because!

It's just a happy holiday twist on the current storyline...

CHAPTER ONE

Alexis pulled herself up to a sitting position on her couch. The worse of the nausea of her last chemo treatment was past, thank the heavens. That still didn't mean she didn't feel like she'd been run over by a truck, but anything was better than that last bout of sickness.

The worse of it, she thought, was the fatigue. She was always so tired. And sometimes, her spirit was tired as well. If not for her daughters, Alexis thought as she stared into the empty fireplace, she might be tempted to give up.

Her eyes moved from the empty fireplace to ...that spot. She couldn't help it; she'd be thinking about anything else but that, and then her eyes would fall on that spot, all by accident, and she would see them again. Her husband and her daughter. Having sex. Wildly passionate sex, from what she could see.

A fresh wave of pain washed through her, and this one had nothing to do with the chemo.

How could she have been so blind? So stupid? so trusting? Alexis buried her head in her hands. fighting against the burn of the tears behind her eyelids.

"I'm allowed a little bit of self-pity at this point." She said out loud to the empty room. Viola had taken the girls to see the neighbors' Christmas decorations. Alexis had planned, had hoped to go with them, but she had just been too tired. Again.

A knock at the door brought her out of her reverie. "Who is it?" she called out. Alexis didn't want to expend the energy to walk to the door if she didn't have to.

"Elizabeth Webber." came the answer.

She wasn't expecting the younger woman, but the least she could do was to let her in. Alexis got up and made her way to the door and opened it. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." she said to Liz. "What's all this?"

Liz was standing there with two bags in her arms. "Epiphany sent me over with some things she and your doctor thought you might need."

Alexis smiled in spite of the way she was feeling. "You mean Epiphany told the doctor what he should have done and then proceeded to do it herself." She invited Liz in.

"Something like that." Liz smiled back as she sat the bag down on the nearest table. "It's nothing much, just some herbal teas and nutritional drink mixes. If you'll just tell me where they belong, I'll put them away."

"I'll do it. I need to get up and move around." Alexis said.

Liz insisted on carrying the bags into the kitchen. Alexis forced herself to move as she took out the boxes of teas and mixes and put them away in the cabinets. She tried not to show it, but she was tired all over again before she was halfway through and had to sit down. She closed her eyes and let the late afternoon sun soak in.

"Let me finish this up for you, just let me know where you want it." Liz said, moving to put everything else up. She chatted on, knowing that Alexis was trying her best to not appear over-tired. " How are your girls doing? Has there been any change in Kristina's condition?"

"They're fine." Alexis said. As fine as they could be with both of their fathers choosing to lead separate lives, is what she didn't say. As fine as her oldest could be, stricken mute by witnessing a mob gun bottle and seeing her big sister shoot a man dead. All she could do is thank God that Molly was too young to understand any of it. "Unfortunately there's been no change in Kristina, despite Dr. Winters' and my best efforts."

"I'm really sorry to hear that. Maybe I could bring Cam over some time. I'm sure he and Kristina could have fun together."

Alexis smiled. "It certainly couldn't hurt. You're welcome to come by with him anytime"

"Thanks, I will." Liz said. She looked as if she wanted say more, but hesitated.

"What is it, Elizabeth?" Alexis asked her. She could read her face and Liz clearly was worried over something.

"I don't want to intrude.." Liz began.

"Don't worry, you won't." Alexis said with a wan smile. "If you step over the bounds of propriety, I'll be sure to inform you. In the meanwhile, you can help me take my mind off of how I'm feeling."

"Would you like me to fix you some tea?" Liz asked. "Maybe you'd like a little something to eat? I could fix you a quick snack."

"No, thank you; what I'd like is for you to tell me what's bothering you. But you can pour me a glass of apple juice. And one for yourself, of course, if you like. There's a pitcher in the refrigerator."

Liz poured them both a glass of juice and sat down opposite Alexis. "I don't mean to pry into your life, Alexis. I just wanted to ask you...facing the idea of raising two children on your own?"

"Two?" Alexis was puzzled for a moment and then realization set in. "Oh, you're pregnant."

"And I've broken up with my husband. So, I'll be going through this pregnancy and maybe fighting my husband for custody at the same time. Can I ask you how did you do it?"

Alexis rested her chin in one hand. She didn't know how to answer Liz. How to explain the heartache of raising a child alone, when the love was gone. But if Liz were separated from Lucky, then she had already taken the first steps on the road that Alexis had already traveled. Alexis sighed inwardly for her. So much hurt and heartbreak lay ahead of her. But as she looked into Liz's eyes, she could see that this was one woman who was more than ready to handle it.

She was glad for the distraction from her own hurt. "I think the thing is to stay focused on what's most important. And that's your children." Alexis told her.

"Even...even if you still love the father?"

Alexis closed her eyes for a moment and took a long deep breath. Liz had no idea what she was asking. "I won't lie - it's hard, when you know what you have to do for your child, and at the same time, know that the love for your baby's father is still there, as strong as ever."

Liz nodded slowly, "It's just that my heart is torn." Her hand slid down to her stomach. "I won't lie and say that I don't feel something for my baby's father. But I can't just subject him or her to... to the very real dangers of his life."

Alexis nodded. "That's right. You have to ask yourself, who is more important. He can go on with his life... but without you.. your child has no life. And you can't protect him from himself - but you can - you have to protect your child the best way you know how." She smiled a sad little smile. "No matter what else anyone else may try and tell you otherwise, they don't get it - you don't have the luxury of playing what if? Or the luxury of time wondering will he or won't be able to provide the best life that you know your child deserves. There's no time for what ifs at all. Because the baby is here; the baby is what is. And in the end," Alexis said with another sigh, "that's all that counts."

And the two women, lost in their own private thoughts about two different men who, unknown to them, were very much alike, sat together in silence.