What we have here is an AU of biblical proportions. This actually began as a Shamy fic, but who wants that for the dawn of mankind? I'm trying to be very respectful of the biblical story, and of the Deity who originally wrote it. Hopefully He will be pleased. Basically it's the story of Adam and Eve with Sheldon and Penny cast in the starring roles. God plays Himself. Blessed are the Reviewers, for they bless me! Amen!

Day 1

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. He made day and night, the land and seas, and the sun, moon, and stars. He gave life to animals, birds, and everything that walketh in the earth, and to all that swimmeth in the seas. He blessed them, saying, Get thee busy, and procreate; Fill the earth with thy seed, and multiply. And so the creatures of the earth got busy, and it was good.

And God looked, and was pleased with what he had made, and said, I shall make a man, in my own image, who shall walk on the earth and subdue it; and he shall be master over the land and sea, and over the creatures therein. He shall care for them and use them to do good, and bless the earth. And I shall be his father, and he shall be My son; and we shall speak face to face, God to man.

So God took a pinch of dust, a sprinkle of sand, and a few drams of water, and formed a man in His own image. And He breathed life into his spirit, and poured substance into his soul. He formed his brain, and gave it great power, to reason, and to gain knowledge, and to understand. He made his heart, to feel emotions and to be wise. And He made his flesh, to be strong on the earth, to make love and life, and to manifest the glory of the Creator on the earth.

And God saw the man whom he had created, and was pleased. And he put the man on a lush, vibrant garden planet, and blessed him, saying, Go, take the garden and study it, and experience all of the blessed things I have made. And rule over the animals as a wise and caring master, taking them as fellow workers in the field, caring for them and raising them, and sharing the land with them. And tend to My garden, using all that you need to live, and thrive, and enjoy life on the earth.

And He called the man Shel'dam, and sent him into garden, and He saw that it was all good...for now.

Day 2

Shel'dam's Mental Log. Have been in the garden for an evening and a morning, still trying to get bearings. After brief orientation from G. explored the garden and established base camp in a grove of palm trees. Barely got a wink of sleep last night. What a cacophony of noise! Birds squawking, bees buzzing, animals howling everywhere. Nothing appears to sleep except me. Have begun slowly organizing the garden, dividing all the flora and fauna into groups, and developing a rough system of classification for the animals. Have observed several pairs of animals engaging in wrestling of a sort, resulting in climax of loud noise and apparent pain. Have not determined the purpose of this horrific activity.

Today will attempt to develop method of time-keeping in order to develop daily schedule. Also will need to…

"Good morning, Son."

Shel'dam jumped up from his perch on a rock, "Excuse me? Who's there?"

"Who do you think? Who else here knows how to speak your language?"

"Oh, yes, You breathed life into my nostrils. Thank You that You're here. I have some concerns I'd like to address..."

"You're not even going to greet me, Shel'dam? When someone says Good morning, it's polite to return their greeting."

The man placed his hand on his chest and nodded. "Please forgive my rudeness. Good morning, Sir. I trust you had a pleasant night of sleep."

"Well, as I don't sleep, I really can't complain. But did you see that beautiful constellation that I arranged in the sky last night? Not to brag, but it was very good."

"Yes, they kind of looked like one of those large lizards that kept me up with their stomping and bellowing."

"Really? A dinosaur? I was going for a horse. Oh well. How are my animals doing?"

"Oh, I suppose the better question is what they are doing." Shel'dam raised his head to the Creator. "And when and where are they doing it? All I've seen them do so far is masticate, defecate, and something dreadful that they do in pairs. Quite frightening, really."

"Well, they're only doing what I told them to do."

"And what was that? Keep me awake all hours of the day and night?" The man took on a slightly exasperated tone.

"You will find out soon enough what they are doing. And you will thank Me."

"And when were we going to go over all the guidelines and procedures for organizing and naming all this creatures? You should try sorting all these things out! My stomach is in knots, it's been growling and gnawing at me since yesterday!"

"Didn't you stop and eat? I gave you plenty of fruit and vegetables to eat down there."

Shel'dam looked up with surprise. "Oh. You mean I have to eat? With my hands? And chew it with my teeth and swallow it? With all due respect, that does not seem like a very efficient way of re-energizing the body.'

"Would you rather I put it all in a tablet? You know I gave you tastebuds for a reason."

"It just takes so much time, and there's so much to do!" the man whined.

You do know that there's no deadline to name and sort the animals, right? You literally have all the time in the world."

"Well, it's a good thing, because at this rate, it'll be the day after forever before I can get this place into shape."

"Hmm. It sounds to Me like you could use some help. Someone to be a companion, who could compliment you, and help you do the things you can't do yourself."

Shel'dam's face brightened. "You mean like an assistant? You really are the Almighty!"

"Well, why don't you eat something first. See that tree in the middle of the garden? Go over there and eat one of those fruits, and then I'll tell you what to do next."

Shel'dam walked over to the huge tree that rose on a small hill, and reached up and took a large orange bulb, and bit into it.

"Mmmm! This is very good, what is it?" he said with his mouth full.

"This is the Tree of Life. As long as you eat of it, you will live forever."

"Oh, well that's much better than a tablet. I might be able to make it after all. So where's my helper, and what is next on the schedule?"

"She'll be along later. Now lay down and take a nap."

"What do you mean, She…"

Shel'dam fell down under the tree, fast asleep.