Xmas gift for a good friend of mine.

Yup, that's all I'm saying. :p

Opening his eyes, Ichigo found himself in his sideways inner world.

The hell?

"Yo, king."

Ichigo whirled to face his evil twin.

"What the fuck? What am I doing here?!"

"You're here so I can kick ya ass and take over, king."

Ichigo reaches back to grasp his zanpakutou.

"Like hell that'll happen."

Ichigo and Shirosaki face off. The clouds darken and thunder cracks. And then Ichigo gets a punch to the face.

"Stop being sad, damnit."

"O- Ossan?!"

Zangetsu quickly floors Shirosaki, who had been giggling at Ichigo.

"And you, stop making it worse."

Ichigo couldn't help the snicker at his counterpart's expression.

"This has gone on for far too long already. You two will learn how to get along now."

Zangetsu holds up the book he had used to hit Shirosaki. The Complete Idiots Guide: Forcing Enemies to Become Friends.

Ichigo and Shirosaki both get very, very bad feelings about this. They shared a glance and took off in opposite directions. Or would have, had Zangetsu not grabbed them by the back of their haori.

"Now you two will behave and listen. Understood?"

They both nod vigorously.

"Good. Now," Zangetsu glances at the first page, "hug."

"HUG. NOW."

Ichigo and Shirosaki glare at each other and tentatively put their arms around each other.

"That's not a real hug. Mean it."

Ichigo squeezes Shirosaki. Shirosaki squeezes back. The 'hug' quickly turns into a wrestling match. It just as quickly ended with Zangetsu smacking them both with the guide.

"Now, where was I," Zangetsu pages through the guide. "'Force them to compare similarities and things in common'..." Zangetsu flips to the next chapter. "'Force them to spend time with each other'. Hmm, that one's already done permanently."

Ichigo and Shirosaki are getting more uneasy by the second.

"Is he fucking serious?!"

"Ain't ever heard him joke, king."

"Pay attention!"

"Yessir!"

"Next, 'force them to discuss their greatest dreams and worst fears'. Yes, let's go with that one." Zangetsu points at Ichigo and Shirosaki. "Discuss."

"Uh..."

"Discuss."

"Uh, well-"

"I-CHI-GOOOO!!!"

All three of them start at the noise.

"We shall continue this later."

"Yeah, seeya king."

With that, Zangetsu and Shirosaki vanish.

"Wait, what, but... huh?"

---

"OWWW!!"

"Goooood morning, Ichigo!"

Ichigo procedes to throw Isshin out the window.

"Why the fuck can't you behave like a normal person?!"

Ichigo slams the window shut and walks over to his bed. He thought back to what had just happened in his inner world.

A smirk crossed his face as he realized exactly what he'd do the next time Shirosaki tried to take over again.

My dad can freak the shit outta anybody.