When America Gets Fat!

"America, you disgust me you really do!"

"Well (munch) you're just gonna (munch) have to (munch) live with it or (munch) just look away (munch)." America said while consuming half his weight in hamburgers.

"One day, America you are going to wish you'd listened to me!"

"Dude, that day will (munch) never (munch) come!"

"AMERICA! DIDN'T YOUR PARENTS EVER TELL YOU TO NOT TALK WITH YOUR MOUTHFUL!"

"Dude, you are my 'parent'!"

"Oh Crap!"

"Dude, don't sweat (munch) I've always (munch) ate like this!"

"Yes, but one day you'll be sat alone stuffing hamburgers in your gob when, snap, you'll just blob out and that'll be that!"

"I'm the hero! That'll never happen to me!"

"Yeah, yeah as you keep telling us. Now do you have any decent food in this house? Maybe an English scone or crumpet?"

"No way that stuffs crap! No person in their right mind would have that stuff!"

"!"

While England had a good long rant about the rustic flavours of British cooking yadaa yadaa yadaa America got to thinking.

(I'm not fat, am I? I don't think I'm fat. What does that dumb Brit know anyway! I mean he doesn't eat hamburgers! He wouldn't know, maybe hamburgers are really really healthy! Yeah they are really really healthy! I'm so glad I don't listen to Britain! He's such a doofus! But what if he's telling the truth! What if I go to sleep tonight and I wake up and then I realise that I got really fat overnight! OMG I could never cope with that! OMG all the other countries wouldn't listen to me and then I would have no friends and... what am I going to do!)

"Hey, America! America?"

"Britain, it's time for you to leave now!"

"America? America? America is there something wrong? You're acting all dodgey! America I think I should stay and look after you for a while..."

"No! You need to leave! Leave my house and never return with your stupid fat lies about fat and... fat! LEAVE!"

Britain edged towards the door away from America who had a crazed look in his eyes! The terror built up inside him until he was so scared he froze.

"I said leave Britain! Don't come by here again or you'll regret it!"

"Y-y-yes A-A-America!"

Britain turned clutching his coat to his chest and sprinted out the door and out of America's gate, never look back!

"Now he's gone I can get back to eating my hamburgers in peace without it being insulted with every mouthful!"