Football: Anime Style
1st Quarter: Spartan's first drive and introduction stuff
By: Steve Jester
Setting: ESPN "NFL Primetime" Studio in New York City
King Kai: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a special edition of NFL Primetime! This edition is for the Anime Fall Classic 2003! I'm your special host King Kai from Dragon ball Z. My co-hosts are Donavan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles, Ranma Saomote from Ranma 1/2, and Drew Bledsoe of the Buffalo Bills.
McNabb: It's an honor to be here for an outstanding game of football! Two teams have prepared for a war tonight!
KK: And let me remind everyone for the benefit of the author, Steve Jester doesn't own anything that happens to be copyrighted, be it the NFL, ESPN, or any of the celebrities and anime characters (and respective anime titles). And now, we take you to Phoenix New York for the National Anthem!
[The screen switches to the field at Phoenix Stadium where Lina Inverse steps up to a microphone]
Stadium Announcer: May you all please rise as Lina Inverse from Slayers sings the National Anthem.
Lina Inverse: Oh say, can you see!
By the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed
At the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
Through the perilous fight
O're the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rockets red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Oh say does that star spangled
Banner yet wave
O're the land of the free
And the home of the brave
[Football theme plays]
TV Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Anime Football Classic between the Mecha Spartans and the Action Firebirds!
King Kai: These are two teams with the hard work and determination that good football teams require.
Ranma: It's going to be a quarterback match-up between Shinji Ikari of the Spartans and Taichi Yagami of the Firebirds.
McNabb: Yes, these two are excellent quarterbacks with the strength to throw the long ball. I like the way Ikari moves in the pocket. He's quick accurate and throws the ball off with perfect timing.
Bledsoe: Yes but he won't be able to get off a pass if his line blocks like they did last week in the squeaker against the Romantic Comedy Eagles. The Firebird Defense led by a solid linebacker core of player/coach Taichi Yagami, Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru might cause some trouble for the week offensive line of the Spartans.
KK: And we bring you back to Phoenix Stadium for the coin toss. We'll then turn it over to our correspondents at the stadium, Kitsune Konno from Love Hina and John Madden.
[Phoenix Stadium- The captains are meeting in the middle with the referees. The main referee is the author, Steve Jester]
Steve Jester: Captains shake hands. [They do so] Alright let's introduce the captains for tonight's game. The visiting captains from the Spartans are #3 Shinji Ikari, #88 Rei "Zero" Enna, and #44 Hirro Yui. The home captains for the Firebirds are #5 Taichi Yagami, #80 Hikari Yagami and #22 Kenshin Himura. Who are the speaking captains? [Shinji and Taichi raise their hands] Let the record show that the speaking captains are Shinji Ikari and Taichi Yagami. The other Officials come from the anime Love Hina. At Umpire Keitaro Urashima. [Keitaro waves] At Lineman… err Lineperson Naru Narusegawa. [Naru waves] And at Line Judge Shinobu Maehara. [Shinobu waves] Now for the coin toss we have the MVP from last year's Anime Classic, Gohan Son, to do the honors. Gohan?
Gohan: Alright, you guys know what's going on. This is a two sided coin, the side with the helmet is heads [shows to both captains] and the side with the firebird is tails [again shows to both captains] Shinji, as the visiting captain, you will call it in the air.
[Gohan flips coin] Shinji: Heads!
[Coin lands on the turf, firebird up]
Gohan: The result is tails. Taichi would you like to kick or receive or defer?
Taichi: Defer.
Gohan: Alright, Shinji. Would you like to kick or receive?
Shinji: Receive.
Gohan: Taichi what goal will you defend?
[Taichi points to his right]
Steve Jester: Turn with you backs facing that way. Line up on the 45. [Both sets of captains do so] [Steve walks over to the Firebird Captains, turns on microphone] The Firebirds have won the toss, they have chosen to defer. [Walks over to the Spartan Captains] The Spartans will receive. Captains, shake hands. [Turns off microphone as captains shake hands and go back to the sidelines]
[Press Box]
Kitsune: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Phoenix Stadium where the action is about to get under way! I'm the unusually somber Kitsune Konno.
Madden: And I'm John Madden. You know that we're in for a good football game when the stands are packed, and two teams are ready to rip each other to shreds on the turf.
Kitsune: Set to kick it away for the Firebirds is Sora Takenouchi.
Madden: And back deep to receive are Shinji Ikari and Touji Suzahara. We know Takenouchi can kick, but why are they lining up that far back? They're almost at the end of the end zone!
K: Watch. The kick's away and it is caught deep in the end zone by Shinji Ikari who downs it immediately.
M: And the series will start on the Spartan 20 yard line. Now I see why.
K: And while they are lining up let's take a look at the starting offensive lineup for the Spartans.
M: And the thing is the Spartans have a ramshackle offensive line. I mean Quatre Winner, Yamagi Kushida, and Clay Cliff-Fortran are all less than 180 pounds, not standard for linemen. The only two that are even close to being standard linemen are Roose Sawamura and Kensuke Aida and tackle and center respectively. They don't even break 200 pounds.
K: That means Ikari will have to rely on his quickness and awareness to find his receivers, Zero Enna and Hiead Gner.
M: The Spartans have good running backs some of which can catch a pass once in a while, Kizna Towryk, Touji Suzahara and Hirro Yui are strong backs and work real well in the Wing-T offense that the Spartans use.
K: They line up in the Wing T, direct snap to Ikari. Blitz! He gets the ball off to his hot receiver Towryk. She runs to about the 35 before she's tackled by the corner Kenshin Himura.
M: And that was a great read by Ikari, he saw that there was pressure and found his hot receiver.
K: #33 Kizna Towryk keeps her cool running up and gains the first down.
M: The starting defensive line up for the Firebirds is very fast upfront with a good linebacker core behind it.
K: That's right. At the two D-end slots are Gene Starwind and Izzy Izumi both very fast and calculating.
M: Between them are the beef of Jet Black and Kuwabara …. Uh I think someone forgot to put down his last name. Either way these two will prove some trouble for the interior of the Spartan line as they are two large and fast men.
K: The linebackers are solid… oh wait we'll get back to that later as Ikari takes the snap. He hands it off to Yui… uggghhh… that had to hurt. Hirro Yui is tackled at the line of scrimmage by Inuyasha.
M: That's just the result of a poor decision upfront. One wrong block allows for the linebacker to fill the hole and kill a run drive.
K: As I was saying the linebackers are very solid. Taichi Yagami leads this impressive unit with Inuyasha and Sesshomaru not that far behind.
M: The rest of the defensive backs are also very good at defending the pass, Kenshin Himura and Hiei… again someone forgot to put a last name, have almost god like speed and get in front of their respective assignments quickly and force the big play.
K: The two safeties are the bad boys of the team, Sannosuke Sagara and Yusuke Urameshi both have had their share of picks this season. The Spartans line up with a wide right. Oh tricky, they shift into a five wide no backfield. Again blitz on the right side. This time the pass is in the air… CAUGHT! #49 Touji Suzahara! He's on the 50, the 40, the 30 and he's finally tackled at the Firebird 25 yard line by #43 Sagara.
M: That's what happens when …
K: Wait John, there's a late flag on the play.
[SJ signals an unsportsmanlike penalty for both teams]
K: And it looks like some words were exchanged by the tackled and the tackler.
M: C'mon guys, keep your mouths shut and let the pads do the talking.
[On the Field]
Steve Jester: There were offsetting unsportsmanlike penalties. One against #49 on the offense for cursing and one against #43 of the defense for responding with cursing. The penalties cancel each other out. It will be first and 10 from the Firebird 25 yard line. Both players are reminded that another unsportsmanlike penalty against them will result in ejection from the game.
K: That could have been costly.
M: Especially if a fight broke out, remember a fight is an automatic ejection.
K: Well, it's first and 10 from the 25, almost in red zone territory.
M: The Spartans will look to score here and gain the advantage.
K: They line up in trips right formation. They motion the closest receiver away from the trips to make it a double twins formation. The ball is snapped. Ikari looking into the end zone… and TOUCHDOWN! #88 Enna with a great catch! But there's a late flag.
M: It was a great catch and made with great coverage by the corner, but I think it will be [SJ signals pass interference against the Firebirds] yes it is, pass interference against the defense.
SJ: Pass Interference, #22 defense. The penalty is ignored, the touchdown stands.
K: And the fans are booing the ref, seems they don't like the call.
M: And neither does Coach Jim Hawking of the Firebirds as the red challenge flag flies onto the field from the Firebird sideline.
K: Personally I think Steve made the right call there. Let's go down to the field mic on Coach Hawking and listen into him talking with referee Steve Jester.
[On the field]
Jim Hawking: I want to challenge that #88 wasn't even inbounds before he caught the pass.
Steve Jester: Alright I'll take a look at it. [Steps onto field, turns on mic] The Firebirds are challenging that the catch never took place. [Walks over to review station]
K: This is going to be a tough call to make, I'm sure he was in.
M: And remember, the interference call was made in the field of play and the challenge is of the catch in the end zone. Personally I think it's a smart challenge even if it's not overturned you still are a lot better to have this looked at then not and then look at it on film on Monday and say, "He was out."
K: And Steve Jester is back on the field with his decision.
SJ: After reviewing the play, the receiver had one foot inbounds and one foot on the sideline. Therefore, the catch wasn't made. The Firebirds will not be charged a timeout and the Interference call against #22 will be enforced. It will be first and goal on the 10 yard line. Please reset the score to 0-0.
K: Well, that negates the Spartan touchdown, but it puts them in a position to score.
M: And better opportunity, but it gives them a chance to stop them here or make it a field goal instead of a touchdown.
K: A lead of three or seven, a lead is a lead. And with 10 minutes to go in the quarter the Spartans line up in Wing T. Ikari takes the snap, hands it off to Suzahara. Suzahara up the middle to about the 5 yard line.
M: The Spartan Line held their blocks long enough for a pivotal gain. Let's see if they can capitalize.
K: Again in the Wing T. The Firebirds put 8 in the box. Pass down the middle TOUCHDOWN!!! #33 Kizna Towryk! That's the first touchdown of her career.
M: That was just a careless mistake in the defense coverage scheme. Watch as #52 Inuyasha has to make sure that run isn't coming to his side before he goes to cover Towryk. He probably thought it was Himura's job to cover her while he checked the run.
K: And now Hikari Horaki will come in for the extra point.
M: She has been on fire recently. Her longest field goal was from 50 yards out.
K: And the kick is up, AND IT'S GOOD! With 10:34 left in the first quarter the Mecha Spartans lead the Action Firebirds 7-0. And we'll take a short break!
[On the field]
Shinji: Great job out there guys! That's how we get things done!
[Fade to commercial]
AN: I'll be posting these by drives, I'll try to post them as quickly as I can and also get more player reactions as well, but you know how football games on TV work, not much speaking with the players. Please R&R, thank you!