Overcoming the odds
My first fanfic. Tell me what you think. Tell me if you think I should continue.
Prologue
Surveying the remains of Fanalia left Hitomi Kanzaki with an empty barren feeling. This ravaged and desolate land she had once called her home was nothing more than a tragic reminder of the happiness she once lived.
She strolled among those who had returned from hiding when the city was destroyed. The destiny war had taken all she held dear away from her and she was now left with the immense task of trying to rebuild a life for herself and her infant brother, Jasper. They'd lost their parents when Zaibach had first attacked Fanalia.
Hitomi noticed that rebuilding had already begun. She hoped she would be able to find some place for her and Jasper to stay that night. She had no money and was desperate for any knid of charity.
"Hitomi!"
The young woman turned to see her long time friend Yukari.
"Yukari?" said Hitomi. She could not hide the surprise in her voice at seeing her past friend. She had long ago abandoned all hope of seeing anyone, other than little Jasper, from her past life.
As they walked through the remains of Fanalia's capitol, Yukari talked about her arrival back in Fanalia 5 days previously and how she had met a "fine specimen of manhood" and he was currently building her a new home. Hitomi wasnt really listening. She had no time for suchfrivoulous thoughts. She had so many responsibilities now: finding a home, feeding herself and her brother, finding work.
"Hitomi you just arrived so that means you have no where to go right?"
"Thats right," replied the 15 year old.
"Then you and Jasper can come stay with me."
"We couldnt do that. Your home isnt even finished yet."
"Oh come on, it would so much fun." Hitomi opened her mouth to protest but then decided against it. It would solve one of her many problems right now so she took Yukari up on offer.
My first fanfic. Tell me what you think. Tell me if you think I should continue.
Prologue
Surveying the remains of Fanalia left Hitomi Kanzaki with an empty barren feeling. This ravaged and desolate land she had once called her home was nothing more than a tragic reminder of the happiness she once lived.
She strolled among those who had returned from hiding when the city was destroyed. The destiny war had taken all she held dear away from her and she was now left with the immense task of trying to rebuild a life for herself and her infant brother, Jasper. They'd lost their parents when Zaibach had first attacked Fanalia.
Hitomi noticed that rebuilding had already begun. She hoped she would be able to find some place for her and Jasper to stay that night. She had no money and was desperate for any knid of charity.
"Hitomi!"
The young woman turned to see her long time friend Yukari.
"Yukari?" said Hitomi. She could not hide the surprise in her voice at seeing her past friend. She had long ago abandoned all hope of seeing anyone, other than little Jasper, from her past life.
As they walked through the remains of Fanalia's capitol, Yukari talked about her arrival back in Fanalia 5 days previously and how she had met a "fine specimen of manhood" and he was currently building her a new home. Hitomi wasnt really listening. She had no time for suchfrivoulous thoughts. She had so many responsibilities now: finding a home, feeding herself and her brother, finding work.
"Hitomi you just arrived so that means you have no where to go right?"
"Thats right," replied the 15 year old.
"Then you and Jasper can come stay with me."
"We couldnt do that. Your home isnt even finished yet."
"Oh come on, it would so much fun." Hitomi opened her mouth to protest but then decided against it. It would solve one of her many problems right now so she took Yukari up on offer.