This was written for Lolaaaa`s "Last Kiss Competition". Hope you guys enjoy. =) Reviews appreciated! Oh, and like always, there`s a scene...
A man and a woman, different as night and day, face one another. Her right hand lays in his left, fingers twined.
They stand in the wilderness close to their childhood homes, in one of their old favorite haunts. It`s a clearing that, once, was big enough to serve as a castle to a young witch and wizard. The size has not diminished with time, but, rather, its inhabitants have grown. They have plenty of room to maneuver, although that does not mean much. To both it feels entirely too small a space, with not enough oxygen for themselves and no clear path of escape should the need arise.
He looks away from her face with obvious reluctance and a sense of hesitation, not completely sure he is ready to say goodbye. Actually, he knows he is not. He feels too much for her, has already left too much unsaid and let too much time pass without her. How can he hope to be able to walk away from her today and face her again – in the midst of a battle, possibly – with no qualms about harming or killing her? He cannot.
She feels much the same way. A part of her has been empty since that day two and a half years ago when she forced him out of her life, and she fears that she will never be whole again. Until today she thought she would be able to make it through her life without him, though. Tomorrow she is getting married, to the man whose excellence cannot be equaled – in her opinion - by any person besides the one with her. With all her might she tells herself that she loves James completely, even as she currently feels her heart swell because of her physical contact with Severus.
Their problems are plentiful but time is not. Even as they stand in silence, the clock ticks away at the remaining time before morning. Both want to speak but are afraid. Instead, nature speaks for them. Close by, a wolf howls, sad and mournful. Another joins, and their voices mingle to create a song. The notes rise and fall, telling a story, having a conversation.
Severus strengthens his grip slightly so he can pull her to him. They look at each other, and she puts her left hand on his chest, feels his heart beating. Is it just her imagination or does it quicken? She knows the answer and slides it up his clothing, across his neck, cups his cheek. And then, before she can stop herself, she stands on her toes and presses her lips to his.
It`s different from kissing her fiancé, makes her feel more alive. He is alive against her, tastes of power, danger. He is an untamed fire, spitting sparks that kindle with her. This is wrong, but it feels so right that she cannot stop. She has missed this, has missed him, and she doesn`t care that she is being selfish. She wants what she can have right now.
When they can`t breathe anymore, they pull apart, and she trembles. For the first time in a long time, her body feels alive. Beneath her hands, she can practically feel him humming with energy. His arms are around her, one on her lower back and the other on her neck, the fingers tangled in her red hair. Their bodies are like magnets, she thinks, because even as she takes in more oxygen they come back together. Against her stomach she can feel his erection, and it releases such desire she cannot help but whimper.
She knows that she is a helpless case.
Her persuasion doesn`t require much; he is as eager as she is. They stand until all her clothes are removed, and he takes off his outermost cloak. Her jeans and t-shirt are placed carefully on a fallen oak before he spreads his clock out on the forest floor for her, and she lowers her body to it. He wastes no time removing the rest of the clothes on himself, and as she sees his size she cannot help but smile. He has grown since they were sixteen and nearing the end of their fifth year, as she had hoped he would have.
He lays down on top of her but is careful to keep the majority of his weight off, and attempts to begin foreplay but she is anxious and stays his hand. "Please," she sighs. "We don`t need it."
And so he enters her with a powerful stroke, and she gives a soft cry. It only takes seconds for their bodies to sync, and she is reminded of what she will be missing. This man would give anything for her (not that James would not). He knows her every secret. He was her first magical friend…
A few minutes later, when they have peaked, they lie still. She looks into his face, sees everything there that she has always been hoping for. Apologies, love. There are things she doesn`t like, too, though. Remorse for actions unrelated to her. Pain. He is a two-sided coin with everything merged onto the one side, and she doesn`t think she can deal with that forever. That doesn`t mean she desires to lose him forever, though.
He rolls over, picks the crumpled leaves from her hair tenderly, taking his time. He is unwilling for this to end. But they can only delay it for so long. When he is finished, he rises, offers his hand. She accepts it and he pulls her to her feet.
They get dressed, and stare at each other, but she can`t take it. She makes a soft noise and throws herself forward, into his arms again. Her arms go around him, and his around her, and she buries her face in the grove between his neck and his shoulder. Her body is suddenly shaking, and he feels hot tears hit his skin. Her soft sobs break his heart into even more pieces, the shards becoming harder to keep track of.
He makes a gentle soothing noise, strokes her back. And when her sobs quiet down, she stays against him in the same position for a few more seconds, taking in his spicy scent. When she feels calmer, she pulls back enough to kiss him again. And in this kiss, she throws her entire being. He does the same, and when the kiss ends, they both have tears streaking down their cheeks. They both know that this is goodbye.
She squeezes his hand, he squeezes back. They release their holds, and she begins walking from the clearing, while he remains behind. When she emerges from the forest, she can still feel the lingering warmth of his skin on hers. And even though she knows she should feel guilty, she can`t bring herself to. James had never asked if they had had sex. They hadn`t. They had always made love.
Later, when she makes her vows, she sees Severus in the shadows at the back of the church, and is all the happier. At the reception, she searches for him but doesn`t succeed. But she does find an envelope, with words written in his tiny, cramped style. "Love conquers all," she reads. And she smiles. She knows she will treasure their last kiss until she is no more.