Advanced G.I.R.
{To the tune of "Special Ed" by Stephen Lynch}
[ Scene: Zim's underground lab]
Zim: When I was assigned this mission
I received a very special S.I.R. unit
G.I.R. was advanced, & my servant
But just a little be different…
Oh, Advanced G.I.R.!
Tallest pulled him from a garbage bin
Well, he's not so bright, instead
He's a little bit special…
Just a little bit special…
Just a little bit special…
He'd push buttons & I'd get hurt
I'd plan conquest, G.I.R.'d eat dirt.
I like DOOM & exploding…uh, FIGS!
G.I.R. likes talking to a Pig!
Oh, Advanced G.I.R.!
Purple put some lint in his head
Well, he's not so bright, instead
He's a little bit special…
Just a little bit special…
Yah, just a little bit special…
I invent ways to implode the Dib's eyeballs
G.I.R.'d rather run headfirst into walls!
I have guns and a Voot Cruiser…
G.I.R. keeps gorging himself on tacos!
Oh, Advanced G.I.R.!
I often wanna bash his head in!
Well, he's not so bright, instead
He's a little bit special…
Just a little bit special…
Just a little bit…
[ Dib walk in with G.I.R., furiously snapping photos.]
Dib: One day stalking aliens
G.I.R. opened the door and lead me in!
Now I laugh as I snap Zim's ugly mug
While G.I.R. gives him a great big hug!
Next to Zim, G.I.R. is fine
Yeah, he's a fucking Einstein!
And as I laugh triumphantly, I can see
That Advanced G.I.R. just…
Zim: Made you very DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ He jumps the budding paranormalist.]
[ G.I.R. sings over their brawling.]
G.I.R.: Oh, Advanced G.I.R.! ('That's ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!')
Oh, I'm not right in the head,
I'm just a little bit special,
Just a little bit special…
Just a little…
BREAK IT DOWN, PIGGY!
[ From nowhere, a disco-ball and hip back-up dancers
appear as strobe lit fog fills the lab as the remix plays. ]
[ G.I.R. dances to the beat.]
BG girls:
Whoomp-whoomp!
Justa-justa,
uh-uh!
He's justa lil' bit…
Justa lil' bit…
Whoomp-whoomp!
Justa-justa,
uh-uh!
He's justa lil' bit…
Justa lil' bit…
Techno Voice:
SPPPPEEEEECIAAAAAAL….
[ Zim ceases Dib-pounding & stares at this spectacle in
in stunned horror. While he's distracted, the big-headed
one escapes with a disc full of evidence.]
Zim: [Smacking forehead] That bastard G.I.R.'s gonna make ME Special…
G.I.R.: That's the spirit, Master!
Now, FADE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ Screen goes black]
[ Cut to the Membrane's house a short time later…]
Dib: [Searching the living room] Hey Gaz, have you seen my disc? I need to send it in to
'Mysterious Mysteries'.
Gaz: Yah. I erased so I could burn the Japanese version of 'Gorgon Mall Veto' for my Flaystation.
Dib: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Techno Remix FADE-OUT!]
~~~~The End~~~~