Disclaimer: I don't own xmen

If you've never felt that horrid sensation of disappointment, then you'll never understand what this girl is going through. Sitting on a depressing bench in a grey wool coat, she sits in the slight snow fall, letting the flakes melt on her shoulders, hands, and lowered head. No one can see her, because she is so removed from this world that she is hardly noticeable. Pain is her catalyst for this exclusion. The odd feeling that her stomach as plummeted below the floor, that her porcelain throat is slowly closing, that her emerald eyes staring lifelessly at the dark street before her. The worst, though, was the icy grip that her heart was in; it made her feel soul shattering cold.

She heard a sound. A sound that barely reached through to her numb ears.

"I've found her!"

The light from the streetlamp was blocked and the stretch of sidewalk her eyes were looking through suddenly became darker.

"Oh my god."

Warm, large hands fell heavily on her shoulders, jarring her from her reverie. She jumped slightly, her back straightening and her head lifting. She stared into familiar eyes.

"…Hank?" her brows knitted together, eyes suddenly becoming clearer. 'Where am I?' she thought vaguely. 'What am I doing here?' Then realization hit her like a cold wave of water, flowing down from her head to her frozen feet. He hadn't come.

"Rogue, Rogue, are you alright? What happened?" Hank kneeled before her, not liking the way her pupils kept dilating. She was shivering uncontrollably, her face was tinged a slight blue color and her lips were chapped and dry. Suddenly, green eyes pierced him, then frantically raced side to side.

"He…..didn't…."

"Rouge, listen to me," Hank took her face in his warm hands, opening that it would calm her. She looked back at him and he slowly watched her face crumble. First it was her mouth, parted and took in ragged, deep breaths. Her body began to heave beneath her, but he kept her face still. Her eyebrows furrowed, then rose in a crushing way, her eyes widened and tears flooded them. She was gasping, sobbing, but never crying, and trying desperately to avoid seeing the caring face before her.

"He….oh, god…Hank, he….."

"Please, Rogue, look at me….look at me!"

She did, she looked at him, right in the eyes. Her breathing stopped racking her body, but she couldn't control the sobs. Her hands went to cover Hank's, clutching at them.

She heard muted footsteps racing towards them over the fallen snow, but she couldn't see anything but Hank. She tried to slow her breathing, desperate to put on a brave face. Desperate to control herself.

"Hank! Oh…Rouge….oh, what in God's name happened to the child!" Ororo's voiced sang through the air.

"'Ro, please…." Hank turned his head to look at her, "…stop this snow."

She nodded softly as Hank turned back to the teen. Her eyes had fallen again, her face relaxed and she was breathing softly. He gathered the melancholy Rogue in his arms and walked away from the isolated bench, to take her home.

Both adults had there backs turned to the slight glowing of a cigarette butt. The red light flickered brightly for a moment, and then faded, only to be followed by a long exhale of smoke.

He flung the cigarette butt in the snow, and shoved his hands in his trench coat pockets. What his motivation was, he would never know. Why had he set on his quest to break Rogue or, a better question, why when he finally did it did he have this utter self-loathing eating at his core? He stamped the cigarette butt in frustration, letting his mask briefly slip.

'I had promised,' he thought, but when had promises ever meant anything? When was anything sacred in his life?

'There is nothing sacred…but her,' pain and fury etched on his features when he realized that she might never forgive him. That he might never be close to her. That he might never hold her in his arms.

'I had promised….'

-Flashback-

"Remy! Stop!" Rogue yelped as she did her best to fend off her attacker with a wooden ladle.

"Chere, I can't help it," he purred, coming closer, like a predator closing in on it's prey. "I'm just…drawn to you."

Rouge looked slightly terrified as her back hit the kitchen counter. 'Dammit!' she thought, 'I'm trapped….'

"You're trapped, chere," Remy smirked triumphantly.

"Shutup," she growled. She wasn't going to let him win without a fight. Taking the ladle in hand, she charged the Cajun charmer. Apron and hair flying, she first tried to strike him. He caught the blow by snatching her wrist, forcing her to drop the weapon. She desperately tried to spin free, but it only gave Remy more room to snake his arm around her waist and pull her forcibly against him.

With her hand caught and raised above them, Remy held her and whispered in her ear, "See, isn't this much better than fighting?"

She sighed against him. "Maybe."

He laughed, and spun her around so he could look in her eyes. She protested slightly against the closeness, but he hushed her. He brought his hand down so that he could hold her in his arms.

"I can't believe I've let myself love you this much…" he whispered to her after a few moments.

Her eyes widened in shock, but quickly recovered and narrowed surreptitiously. "Shove it, Swamp Rat. I aint falling this time."

He smiled softly. "I know, I know. But can't you let me have another chance? One chance….for the sake of my heart, neh? Come to the theater. Please."

Her face fell. "Remy. No. I told you before, no."

"Why not? Remy believes he deserved it."

"It's not that…" her eyes lowered, eyelashes shielding her eyes from his stare. "…I couldn't take it if you didn't mean it. If you didn't come."

He took her chin with his thumb and forfinger, gently raising it back to face him. The real pain drawn on her face surprised him for a moment.

Only a moment.

"Chere, I promise. I will be there. I will always be where you are."

She sighed and smiled. "I can't believe I'm taking the word of a thief."

He mocked hurt and his hand flew over his heart. "Chere! Moi the thief! It was you that have stolen my heart!"

Rogue snorted and shoved away from him. She turned to march up the stairs, paused at the base and turned around to face him.

"Don't let me down, Swamp Rat."

He smiled from the kitchen. Spreading his hands wide, he asked, "Have I ever, my love?"

Satisfied, she nodded and climbed the stairs to her room.

-end flashback-

His demonic eyes smoldered as he watched Storm and Beast carry away Rogue. He hated himself, hated the fact that he could do this. Hated the fact that she was in pain, but more so that he was the cause of this pain.

'I love her. God damn it, I love her. What have I done?'

He raised his face to the dark, night sky, now clear of snow fall.

'What have I done?'

He dropped his face down, looked once more to the theater entrance where he was supposed to meet Rogue a few hours ago and sighed. He turned on a heel and walked swiftly away.

-fin-