A/N Hehehe… crack story! Thanks to Hinata4 (my BESTEST friend) for helping me!
I don't own Ouran!
Hikaru speaking
Kaoru Speaking
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Haha! This new computer is the best!
Hey, Hikaru, I have an idea!
What?
You know how Renge wanted some help with a new yaoi doujinshi?
Whispers…
BEGIN!
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Once upon a time, there was an evil queen named Éclair, and she was so obsessed with having beautiful things that everyday she would go to a special room in her castle that had a big mirror in it.
The mirror would tell her the newest, most beautiful thing that has come into existence.
"Mirror, tell me, what is the most beautiful thing now?"
"It is not a thing, my queen, today a beautiful baby has been born in France. He is the most beautiful thing in existence." The mirror flashed to a picture of a baby boy lying in a basket, wrapped in a blanket with a bear. He had blue eyes and bright blonde hair.
"When this boy gets older, I will take him as my husband."
So, 17 years later, the queen went to France to find the boy she had been waiting to meet. Upon her arrival, she found the village that the boy lived in.
"Boy, I came to make you my husband. If you refuse, I will banish you from this country!"
The boy refused, and decided to move with his father in Japan. The boy was named Tamaki, and he was brought into a world of wealth as soon as he met his father. The queen learned of his whereabouts and decided that when he matured more, she would return to him.
But while she was waiting for him to mature, the boy fell in love with a prince. He was the Price of shadows—
Oh, man! This is great! Renge will pay a lot for this!
Shut up, Hikaru! I'm not done!
Okay, okay, jeez.
--He was the prince of shadows. And once he married, he would be the Shadow king. But when the prince's father learned of his love, he banished both of them. So, Tamaki and the Prince snuck back into France, since neither of them had anywhere else to go.
When the queen decided she had waited long enough, she went to Japan to find Tamaki. She learned of his love and became furious. She returned to France to find the two of them and murder the prince to try and force Tamaki to marry her.
The prince used the power of the shadows to kill the evil queen and the Prince married Tamaki to celebrate.
The shadow king and the most beautiful person in the world lived happily ever after.
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AHAHA! This is gold!
That was fun. What next?
I have an idea!
Okay, tell me!
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There once was a little boy that lived in the woods with his family. The boy ate so much cake and was as sweet as honey, so people gave him the nickname Hunny. One day, Hunny's mom asked him to take a basket of cake to his friend, Kaoru's house. Since Hunny was so nice, he said yes. So he began to walk through the forest.
After a few minutes, a wolf named Hikaru stopped him. "Hey, what's in the basket?" he asked.
Hunny smiled and said, "It's a basket of cake for my friend Kao-chan!" Hunny began to walk away. Hikaru decided that her really wanted some cake and used his magic to make a bunny nearby stand up and start dancing through a meadow of flowers. Once Hunny noticed it, he put the basket down and ran off to dance with the bunny.
Hikaru dashed off to Kaoru's house. Once he got inside, he walked to the bed, where the boy slept soundly. Hikaru tied him up and put duct tape over his mouth to keep him quiet before he locked him in a closet. Hikaru put on Kaoru's clothes and laid in the bed to wait for Hunny.
Once Hunny arrived, He walked to the bed. "Kao-chan! I have cake!" He said, holding out the basket.
Hikaru jumped up and grabbed the basket.
"Hahaha! The cake is mine!" He yelled, pulling the cake out and eating it whole. Hunny jumped up and karate chopped him in the back of his neck, knocking the boy out.
Kaoru had woken up by then and was kicking the door of the closet to try and open it. Just then, Hunny's cousin, Mori, a local carpenter, walked in. He chopped the door off its hinges. The three of them ate the rest of the cake and locked the evil Hikaru in the closet as punishment.
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THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID TO TYPE!
Hahaha! This is priceless! Renge better give us a fortune!
Wait wait, another, come on!
Alright…
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Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Haruhi Fujioka. Haruhi was a very poor girl who lived with her evil step-mother, Kyouya, and her two step-sisters, Hikaru and Kaoru. Haruhi didn't mind cleaning all the time, but she disliked the way she was treated. Kyouya always kept track of her debt and never let her leave the house.
One day, Haruhi got a letter from the mailman Renge. She told her that it was a bout a ball that the prince, Tamaki, was having. Haruhi was uninterested, and as a punishment for not finishing her chores, Kyouya forced her to go.
Haruhi was also forced to dress as a girl, which Haruhi rarely did. When they all arrived at the ball, Hikaru and Kaoru dragged their Step-sister over to the prince and forced her to dance with him.
After they danced, Haruhi realized that she loved the prince. It frightened her so much that she ran out of the castle, forgetting that her parents would tell him where she lived.
Once she got home, she cut all her hair off and threw away her fancy dress, that way if Tamaki came to find her he would never believe she was the girl he danced with. But when he did come over, The twins put a wig and dress on her and when Tamaki saw her, he asked to marry her. Kyouya arranged it and Haruhi and Tamaki lived happily ever after.
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Oh my god! We should do that some time!
We really should!
Okay, another one!
You type it this time, my fingers hurt.
Okay, okay.
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A long time ago, there lived a boy named Kaoru. Kaoru was a cute boy who lived with his twin brother Hikaru. One day, the two brothers went for a ride in a carriage. They fell off the side of the road in the middle of the forest. The two boys couldn't find each other. Kaoru wandered around the forest until he came to the gates of a castle. He rudely pushed the gates open and walked into the castle. When he opened the doors a man rushed over.
"It's a visitor!" He said. Three other people came to the foyer. "My name is Tamaki!" The first one said. He had blonde hair.
"My name is Hunny! This is Mori!" Said a small boy with darker blonde hair, he pointed to a tall man with black hair. "My name is Renge!" Said a girl with light brown hair.
"Excuse us, but we have to speak to the prince of this castle! We rarely get visitors!" Tamaki said, running up some stairs. Everyone followed him.
Kaoru stood in the foyer silently. There was a yell from upstairs. Then footsteps stomped down the stairs. "Leave. We don't need any visitors."
It was a man with messy black hair and messed up glasses. He was very good looking, making Kaoru blush. "But, I have no clue where I am and I lost my twin brother!"
The boy growled. "Fine. You can stay, but only for a week."
Over that week, Kaoru had become extremely close to the messy prince. On the last day there, Tamaki insisted on them having dinner together, like a date.
Renge decided to fix Kaoru up, while Tamaki fixed Kyouya up. The blonde brushed his messy black hair and fixed it so it was neat. He cleaned the brunette's glasses and made him wear a suit.
Renge messed up Kaoru's hair and made it spike out. She made him wear a fancy white shirt with a purple tie and black pants.
The two of them ate dinner awkwardly. Neither said anything until Tamaki and Renge began playing music. Hunny made the two dance together.
During that one dance, they both realized they loved each other.
Later that night, Tamaki left to but some food from town and found Hikaru. He brought the boy home and took care of him. Tamaki fell in love with Hikaru and they all lived happily ever after.
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Hikaru!
What? It's what Renge wants!
Fine.
Yay! We're all done!
OoOoOoOo
The next week, the whole club was sitting around. They had girls surrounding them, squealing.
"I loved Tamaki-kun and Kyouya-kun's tragic love!"
"I think Haruhi-kun and Tamaki-kun's story was the best!"
"I think I like Kyouya-kun and Kaoru-kun now!"
"Hunny-kun as Little Red Riding Hood is adorable!"
Renge was smiling as she accepted money from all of the excited girls.
Hikaru and Kaoru were laughing so hard that they were rolling on the ground.
"HOW DARE YOU! YOU EVIL TWINS!" Tamaki yelled, chasing them all around the room.
"It's making us a lot more money," Kyouya commented.
"The stories are cute!" Hunny said, holding one of the books. Haruhi leaned over his shoulder and read.
That's how Host club fairytales happen, a bored Hikaru and Kaoru.
A/N KYAHAHAHA! This is ridiculous. But it was so much fun to write! I hope you all cracked up at my stupidity.