Hello! I'm not sure what I was really thinking with this fanfiction – I just felt like a writing, and decided to start a brand new one! Yay!

Any ways, I don't think any of the characters are really in character that much, and I'm really sorry 'bout that – it's not some thing I thought about before doing, just some thing that I did in order to not do home work… and… yeah… I tried real hard on the description : )

And a really big THANK YOU to Marz, who thought up the name for this fanfiction; Aijou - it means Love and Sorrow in Japanese, it's a really pretty word and it's kinda what the whole story is about, Love and Sorrow. Thankies Marz!

Hope you don't hate the fanfiction too much : )

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Daisuke lay there, just lay there. His duvet crumpled around him. He was staring up at the ceiling, sprawled across the clean sheets of his bed, his fire like red hair falling over his eyes. He brushed the strands out of his eyes, and continued staring up, to the white ceiling. It felt too white, too clean, too painful to look at. It felt blank, empty, and he vaguely registered that the intense white paint was creating a head ache. But still he kept staring at that same spot. It kind of felt relaxing, just looking up at that spot. That white paint. He hated the white paint. But it was there, and he was staring at it. He wanted to just… just stay here, keep on staring at that same spot, forever. Forever. It was a nice thought, to just stay here and think… think about things that needed thinking about, but think with no pressure to do the things that crossed his mind. It was a nice thought. No pressure. No nothing. Sometimes that was what he wanted: Nothing. But other times he wanted every thing. But… 'other times' where a different matter, he'd bundle those thoughts up and lock them away, deep inside his head. But now, now was the important thing, and right now, he didn't want to do any thing. He just wanted to lay here. He felt exhausted, but there was no apparent cause for this sudden exhaustion – he'd had a restful nights sleep, he hadn't really had an unusual week, just the repetitive events that filled his life all over again. It seemed strange how his emotions differed from time to time.

How could he feel so happy some times?

Then, how could he feel so sorrowful?

What was the cause for 'happiness'?

Why did he feel so blank right now?

Why did he feel so happy other times?

Why couldn't he be happy all the time?

Was happiness what he really wanted?

Happy, happy, happy?

Blank, blank, blank?

Sad, sad, sad?

Embarrassed, embarrassed, embarrassed?
Happy? Happy? Happy? Sad? Sad? Sad? Happy, sad, happy, sad, happy, sad?

There was such a difference, between the two – it was like he was two different people, more than two – a different person for each emotion. So which one was him? Who was he?

He shook his head. These were the thoughts he wanted to lock away, they led to more emptiness, more depression.

Why so down this morning?

For a moment, he thought that was one of his own thoughts, talking to himself, then he realized that it was Dark. Dark. He'd almost forgotten about him.

Forgotten about moi? Oh, how could you, Daisuke? Dark's tone was full of sarcasm and playful mocking. Shouldn't you be getting to school about now, any way?

Daisuke's eyes widened, and he tore his eyes away from that patch of ceiling, and the moment was gone. "AH!" He yelled, scrambling out of bed, "I'm gunna be late!" He shouted, eyes wide, snatching up his uniform and tugging it on, he ran downstairs, tripping and stumbling.

Emiko stood in the kitchen, she turned round, "Hey Dai, you're up late this morning, sleepy head!" Her lipstick smothered lips forming a smile.

"Mum!" Daisuke whined, "Why didn't you wake me up?" He hopped on one foot as he pulled on a sock, "I'm gunna be late!!"

"Oh, you looked so tired yesterday, I thought I'd let you sleep in a little – any way, how late can it be?" She smiled again, handing him a piece of toast.

"Mum!" He ran out of the door, snatching up his school bag and stuffing the toast in his mouth as he sprinted down the street.

"Bye Dai! Have a good one!" Emiko shouted down the street after him.

Hey Daisuke, what the hell were you thinking back there? Dark asked casually.

Daisuke was taken aback by the sincere curiosity in the angel's voice.

"I…" Daisuke paused, what had he been thinking? About different emotions, about different people, about how he didn't want to do any thing… about things he didn't usually think about. "I dunno…" He panted as he picked up his pace.

You know what I think you need? Dark grinned, A girl. That's what you need. Which one are you in love with at the moment, then?

"DARK!" Daisuke blushed a deep shade of red, "It's not like that!"

What is it like then? One minute Risa, then next: Riku! Dark laughed, smirking.

Daisuke sighed. He loved Riku, and that was final, and she liked him back. Didn't she? He hoped she did. Really hoped. He thought of her, for a minute, how she smiled. He loved it when she smiled, when she was happy, Daisuke felt a warmth of happiness. When she was sad, Daisuke felt a pang of sorrow jolt through him. That was love, wasn't it? He wanted her to be happy, wanted to talk to her, wanted to make her smile her smile. That was love, wasn't it? If that wasn't love, then what was?

His thoughts drifted to when he'd given Risa that love letter, and how she'd returned it. He thought of how he'd felt about Risa. He'd wanted to get to know her, he thought she was beautiful, oh so beautiful. He wanted her to like him, and he wanted to have Risa in his life. He loved how she had depended on him, it had made him feel sort of special, needed, how she'd always asked for his help. His heart had hurt so much when she'd shaken her head and said she was sorry, then passed him back his love letter that he'd slaved over. That was when Dark had first entered his life. God, it felt like that had been a lifetime ago.

Now was different.

Now every thing was different.

Love felt different now. He didn't know what it should feel like, how should he know? He'd been in 'love' two times. Risa and Riku. He'd felt two very different emotions for both of them. Which one was love? Was either of them true love?

You think too much about things. Came Dark's voice.

"Dark," Daisuke mumbled, stopping and panting from the amount of running he'd done, he was on the train now, he let the train do the running now. "Dark," He muttered, casting a cautious look around him, to see if any one could hear him. It didn't look like it. "Dark, how do you know when you're in love?"

There was a long pause, You think too much about little things, Daisuke. Dark repeated himself, but this second time it was like he meant the words.

"… 'Little things'? B…But love is a very big thing…" Daisuke said, slightly puzzled.

You need to stop worrying and just enjoy it as it happens. Don't question it. You've never really questioned stuff before, what's different about today? Dark sounded almost annoyed now, angry, annoyed, impatient.

Daisuke vaguely registered that Dark was deliberately avoided the question he'd asked, "…I dunno… I woke up in a funny mood this morning and kept thinking about stuff, I guess," Daisuke smiled his sheepish smile.

…Risa.

"Huh?" Daisuke looked confused, "What? Risa?"

"Hello to you, to!" A familiar voice sounded.

Risa, Risa's here. Idiot.

Daisuke jerked his head up, and saw one of the two Harada twins. "Risa! Hello!"

"You were talking to yourself," Risa giggled.

"Oh," Daisuke blushed, scratching his head, "Uh… What are you doing on this train to school? I thought you normally got on the earlier one?"

Risa smiled, brushing her long brown hair out of her face, "I slept in today, too many late nights, I guess."

Daisuke laughed animatedly, "Me too! I just couldn't seem to get up!"

"Yeah," Risa nodded politely, "Almost here."

Daisuke looked up, "Almost where?"

"School," She nodded at the window, "We're almost there, better get your stuff."

"Oh… yeah…" Daisuke nodded.

Today he really didn't feel like school, he didn't feel like any thing except going back to bed and staring at the painfully white ceiling and thinking about all of the stuff he didn't normally think about.

They got off on the platform, and walked the short walk to their school.

Daisuke looked up at the sky. There wasn't a cloud to be seen. It was one of those cool, crisp winter days. The whole sky seemed grey and cloud like, he wondered if it was just one big cloud, but no. He loved days like this, they were cold and dry. He took a deep breath of the icy air, and felt it travel through his body, then warm up, he couldn't feel it travel down his wind pipe any more. That's what he liked about the cold days that winter gave out. The air was cold. You could feel cold air. He liked the feeling. He liked the thought that he could feel. It was a funny thing to like, but, nevertheless, he did.

"Brr!" Risa shivered, "It's freezing today!"

"Yeah, I like it," Daisuke smiled at the sky dreamily.

"I don't!" Risa Harada shook her head from side to side, "It's way to cold!" Risa looked back down, and smiled, "Hey look! There's Riku!" She pointed to her sister peddling away on her bike.

Daisuke looked back down, to reality, he smiled to. His heart gave a little lurch as he saw Riku's smile. Riku rode towards them, "Hi!"

"Hello," Daisuke said airily, looking back towards the sky.

What's more interesting? The sky or your girlfriend? Dark asked sarcastically.

Daisuke jerked his vision back towards Riku, who was talking to her sister. He smiled brightly.

His eyes wandered, over the many students walking to school. Most of them were hurrying, running away from the cold, but a few of them had stopped to talk to one another.

There were so many of them.

Suddenly, Daisuke felt rather small. There were so many people here.

And this was just one school. He was just one person.

He felt so tiny, so insignificant, so unimportant, so meaningless.

There were all of these people in the world, each had their own problems, own worries, own lives – and here he was, thinking only of his life, and the people in it. It was so strange. Every one thought their lives were this or that, every one thought their problems were so immense, so important, when, in fact… that was how every body felt. He thought his love-life was so confusing, so big, so daunting, when… it didn't really matter. There were a million other people who were involved in love triangle's, there were people holding hands, people engaged… People in love. People in love all around the world.

He didn't matter any more.

There was a bigger picture now.

Some one could be crying right now, some one could be giving birth, some one could be being born, some one could be laughing, sleeping, having sex, some one could be smiling, some one could be dying…

And he was just standing here.

His life was so small, and, deep down, he thought it was special, he thought it was important.

Just as every one else thought their own life was the biggest thing.

His problems weren't that big, compared to others.

He didn't know how he felt about that.

It was so big.

Too much to understand.

He hated that.

But he loved that ignorance.

Daisuke, snap outa it. You're not making any sense, stupid. Stop it…

What did he love?

Did he love any thing?

What did love mean?

He thought he loved lots of things, but how could he tell?

He thought he loved Riku…. He did, didn't he?

Daisuke, stop it.

Did Riku love him?

Was Riku thinking the same thing?

Was she confused, too?

Daisuke –

He didn't know what to do. All these thoughts seemed to be pressing in on him, suffocating him, killing him.

Daisuke, what are you –

He didn't know what to do… What could he do? Help… he needed help…

Daisuke –

They were killing him, he didn't know what to do, all these thoughts, the world, it was turning inside out, it was making him mad, he couldn't handle it.

Daisuke, breathe… take a breath, Daisuke, breathe…

Dark's words of concern finally reached him, and he realized he wasn't breathing, he was functioning.

He took a massive gulp of air, and the world seemed less hazy, it seemed less daunting.

Daisuke, what was that about?

Daisuke looked up, his vision coming in and out of focus, he suddenly felt very, very tired… oh so tired. He needed to lay down for a minute.

Daisuke, are you alright? What the hell is going on with you today?

Daisuke blinked. Riku and Risa were still talking about school, about the home work that was set a few days ago.

It was strange. His life consisted of so little, yet so much.

Home work seemed so pointless now. He didn't get it.

He needed to get out.

Do some thing big.

Make his other worries sink into unimportance.

Break out of the repetitive pattern that seemed to be his life.

He needed to get out. Do some thing big.

Really big.

Daisuke… What?

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Well there you go. That's what happens when you leave me with some chocolate and a computer and some depressing music.

I quite enjoyed writing this, it was really fun, I needed to get writing again.

I kinda like the idea of this fanfiction, which doesn't happen very often, I usually hate my writing – but this one was really fun : )

Yeah, so – THANK YOU EVER SO EVER SO MUCH FOR READING THIS! –hugs-

Please leave a review on your way out, if you have the time, I wanna know what every one thinks of it xXx

Chapter 2 coming soon, i've already got an okay-ish idea - It's a little more action filled and stuff, and a little to do with Satoshi, i think... Not sure .

See ya next time, thank you, bye byes! xXx