Edward and Bella Go To The Hospital

by user cannot be found

After beating Bella to a bloody pulp, Edward realizes his mistake and tries to make up for it by taking her to seek proper medical attention. Written with the help of Giant V China x3 Written to mock Meyer's writing style

1. Chapter 1

With heaving blows like that of a dying shih tzu Edward came down upon his wife Bella with a mighty pimp hand and a dull ferociousness in his eyes that was nothing short of the of Emo turmoil that can be found in men such as he.

"Never take a piss unless I say so!" Commanded Edward though teeth clenched as tightly as the asscheeks of Satan. Globs of sparkling saliva made their way though in between the heaving blows and words as vile Lucifer's piss.

"But my love, I was only getting the mail." Cried Bella bleeding profusely on the floor .

Sudden the soulless eyes of Bella's face rolls back into her disfigured noggin. Edward grabs her by the neck and shakes her like one would a baby. "Bella?" He yells, his fury has not faltered and the fire that had been poured upon the flame of his temper. It was not about to be doused by her lack of consciousness. "BELLA!" He smacks her across the face a few times for good measure.

Blood began to soak Bella's pantaloons, and Eddie, being the hopeless newb decided it was best to take her to a hospital, she WAS fat, maybe she was having a heart attack and would die, he hoped.