I found this, unknown to its contents and got the surprise of my life.

I haven't written Boosh fanfictions in ages, but here's one for old time's sakes.

Thank you for reading, may have offensive material.

Cheers. XXX

The thought comes naturally to anyone in a situation like this, but I knew it was my fate.

I'm going to die. When I think about it, for some reason I think of my Grandma's garden. She grew flowers that were red, pink and orange; I forget the names of them.

I always loved her garden, it was always warm, even the winter when everything was covered with a layer of Jack's frozen frost.

Everything hurts, I can hardly move. My muscles feel like they've been ripped apart and I wouldn't be surprised if they were.

I try to move, I try to shout, nobody can hear me, nobody can see me.

I could be already dead for all I know, trapped for eternity on this broken record.

I'm so scared that I've gone blind, I can feel tears drip down my face I'm so scared. I reach for the mobile in my back pocket, it takes too long but I grab it and I don't have to see because I know those wires I can feel sticking out the screen means it's broken.

I'm going to die here and be found minutes after I passed, it would be such a shame.

I feel weird when I think about it, it'll just be me and whatever lies ahead. I can see it like being fumbling for the light switch in the middle of the night, all that would occur would be the sting of your eyes when the light blinds you momentarily. I wish I could die faster, I want to see the world's biggest mystery unfold before my own eyes.

My own mystery, something I could own that was bigger than life.

I'll be leaving Howard, I can't leave now. I'm not going anywhere without Howard, even if he doesn't care.

I have a crush on Howard and I think he has a crush on me. I think that's nice, even if he is pretending so he could use me or something along those lines.

I wonder if he is pretending. It doesn't really bother me right now, maybe it's because I'm dying. When he kissed me behind B block he told me not to tell anyone, for his own sake or mine? When we kissed his eyes were closed, and the hair on his upper lip tickled me, I would laugh at the memory if I could.

Suddenly death doesn't seem so great now, because Howard has flown into the picture like a golden phoenix with.

I hear a noise, a shout then footsteps.

"Oh my God. Oh my God" It's a man, I can't see him. Maybe I won't die after all, should I be disappointed or thankful? I would weigh up the argument but I don't think I have time for that.

He's panicking, you can hear it in his voice as he screams for a women called Dolores. Blood oozes down my face, I wonder how long it'll take to get the bloodstains from this shirt? It cost an arm and leg, but right now I'm not as worried as I should be about it.

Something's changed, I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to die.

"Hello, Hello? Can. You. Hear. Me?"

I almost wished the reaper would claim me now so I could save my eardrums from this man's deafening hollering.

But then something scary happens.

I black out.

And I think I die, I'm not sure.

The last thought I have is of Howard and me, curled up in a single bed and ignoring the stares and flares of anger.

I always look back at that memory when I'm sad and alone, it was a really nice day.

I'm glad I remembered it.

XXX

I've been thinking about that time when Vince and I shared a bed. I wouldn't have called it heaven, I could never block out the beating I got afterwards from the other boys in my dorm; that sucked.

The sun is setting and the sky is like a palette of plum purple and lilac pink. We both lie in the grass, rolling around, kissing and laughing and talking without a care in the world for once.

That was my favourite memory of us because we weren't anyone else, we were us, just us.

Stumble stumble trip, up up up.

Get up Howard Moon, get your beaten ass up and keep moving.

My knees are now just battered flesh and blood from falling so many times, I hope I haven't lost any of my teeth.

I hope Vince is still alive.

It's dark, I can't see the school but I know where I'm going.

I think, I hope.

Past the graffiti wall covered in tags and down the alley littered with rubbish. I hope I don't fall on a needle that would only slow me down.

My uniform is wrecked, not that I really cared in the first place.

And then my watch beeped, and I stopped to honour the occasion.

It's twelve o'clock on the fourth of May which means now I'm sixteen and Vince and I can leave this Hell hole.

Happy birthday me. This was the best birthday yet, even if I have been almost beaten to death by bastards.

Shit happens, but I'm not fazed because we're free now.

I jump start and begin hobbling fast, I don't stop this time.

I need to help Vince and get out of here, and it's downhill from there.

Vince, Vince Noir.

I wish I actually told him to be careful, I really should've.

Stupid Howard, dumb arsed fool. I'll tell him when I see him, but I still should've told him before I left. I hear the cry of an owl, the howl of a dog, the racket of a man.

That's when I begin feeling stones in my stomach.

If the mob, they must have got Vince too.

I'm not tough but I'm sturdy, Vince is frail from the inside out like china.

Vince is pottery.

Vince is porcelain.

His skin is mine to ravish, his milky white thighs and blushing cheeks.

I grit my teeth and feel like a dog when I recognize this territorial feeling.

They can't hurt him, he's mine. They can't have him, he's mine.

We belong, they don't.

But they'll do as they please, I hope they didn't hurt him, please leave him alone.

Stumble stumble trip, up up up.

XXX

Light, dark, light, dark, light.

"His name is Vince Noir, attends St. Fossil's Boys' Boarding School. Has serious wounds to the head, fractured-"

Vince? Oh yes, that's me. I'm on wheels, I'm on a hospital trolley? Maybe, I can't be sure. We're speeding down the halls, I can hear clicking shoes and I can smell the clean air.

"Is he going to be ok?"

I move my fingers around my bracelet-

It's gone.

That's when I really start to panic.

It starts when I try to tell myself it's moved up my arm, but I know it's gone.

Howard's bracelet is gone.

I'm going to be in so much trouble, it was real silver!

But then I remember the back alley and the blood and the blood and death that nips at my heels.

Now all I feel is sad, I wish I had that bracelet with me.

I feel so empty and sad.

"-we're losing him!"

I'm losing, tears are running down my face and I still can't see. I want to stay alive for Howard but I just can't.

"He's not responding! We're going to have to-"

XXX

I burst through the doors, hobbling to the stairs and falling to my knees.

God damnit you piece of shit, get up! GET UP!

"VINCE!" I scream at the top of my lungs, I need to know he's ok. I don't care who I wake, I don't care who's angry.

I just need Vince.

I know I'll look like a fool when he wanders down the stairs in his night clothes, not a scratch on him.

I scream his name again before someone comes down, they freeze at the top stair as they see me covered in blood and gashes.

I scan the crowd of boys, some of them look guilty eyed from beating me up.

None of them are Vince.

"Get...s-s.." I cough blood up, it drips down my teeth and falls to the stairs "...someone". They looked petrified, only several move.

Others just stare.

It's going to be ok, a teacher can find Vince.

I'm just still a boy, only sixteen, I need help.

Vince is ok, he's just not here.

Ms Gideon, she's wearing her white night gown and is running towards me. The frills are flying along with her unraveled brown hair, she reminds me of my mother when I was seven. More students have started to wake, each is seeing Howard the Homosexual probably taking his last breaths.

Any last words? Yes, only one. It'll be short, I promise.

"Vince..."

I don't finish, I don't need to.

XXX

Needles, I can feel them in my skin, crawling through my flesh.

I didn't die, but I'm almost there I can feel it.

The people surrounding me are holding a breath to see if I'm going to live through this.

Howard's still gone, but I know he'll come soon.

I lie in the hospital bed and think about how the Hell did love get me into this. Love was supposed to be nice, this isn't nice.

This is hurting.

Drugs, drugs everywhere, in my blood and on trays around me, barely keeping me alive. I'm looking at the hallway, watching nurses and doctors walking past. I can see now, which is good. I'm expecting Howard to walk past, any minute now.

He has to any minute now, I won't be around for minutes longer.

There's Ms Neon sitting next to me, tear streaked face with mascara dripping. I hate doing this to her, she always saw a spark in me and now she's going to see that spark die. She was my art teacher, I remember my first day she kept me back and asked me if I was Picasso.

I should've said yes.

A figure walks past, covered in blood, a bit taller than me.

Howard?

No, an old man.

Can I talk?

"H-howard?..." I whisper from my battered voice box, Ms Neon looks at me. She puts her hand on my limp hand, squeezing it gently.

I can't feel it.

"He's coming darling" She said, but I wasn't too sure.

I kept looking at the hallway, but Howard didn't come.

XXX

I can taste cheese and onion crisps on my tongue, why the Hell is that?

"Howard! We're in the ambulance. Can You. Hear. Me?"

I can't help but laugh.

"Loud and clear, roger that!" I shout, saluting and yelping as my arm becomes entangled in cords. I'm laughing and crying, they gave me something that makes my veins tickle and itch and I don't like it. I'm sixteen and I should make the decisions but I'm stoned on medication and forgetting about Vince. The thought of Vince covered in blood makes me scream in horror but seconds later I start laughing once more.

Don't forget Vince, don't forget Vince.

But I do.

We're speeding down the road, siren going. Ms Gideon is still in her nightgown and is patting my hand, she's shaking and muttering to herself.

Stupid cow.

"Stupid cow!" I say to myself, looking at the eye illusions they have taped to the roof of the ambulance. This one reminds me of the ocean, the turquoise and blue ripples begin to move and soon the small red sailing boat is on a calm ocean. The next one is black and white, it rolls into itself again and again and makes my eyes water.

The last one reminds of a man called Vince.

Vince Noir, I remember him now.

All the bright colours of this picture dance over the page like lasers and paint. They form to make a heart, I know it's not supposed to do that. I reach out to grab it but all I touch is air. But it's ok, I already have Vince's heart, and he has mine.

XXX

"Vince?"

"Howard, I'm so sorry..."

"Where's my little man? Where's Vince?"

"Howard..."

"Ms Gideon, please"

"Vince is not here anymore, Howard"

"What? We went to the wrong hospital? Well let's go, we don't have much time! He needs me!"

"Howard, please!"

"What? Find the map? Are we lost, I can drive! I'm sixteen and an hour old!"

"No Howard, Vince isn't at another hospital or this hospital or anywhere anymore"

"...What?"

"Howard, it was too much for him..."

"Too much what? Tell me where Vince is!"

"Howard, Vince's injuries were life threatening-"

"Good, so they're not anymore. Thank God"

"Howard! Vince is dead".

"..."

No.

Please God, no.

"Howard, I'm... so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Liar"

"-Howard"

"You're lying! No! You always hated me! Where is my angel? Vince! Vince!VINCE!"

"Howard, I'm not lying"

"No, you must be. Vince, can't, can't, be..."

"Oh Howard, I'm so sorry"

"Why-"

"Howard-"

"WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!"

"Should I get him?"

"Don't go after him, he needs time"

XXX

"Howard, how much do you love me?"

Howard smiles, his eyes go crinkly and he shows his vampire teeth in a grin.

"I love you more than I love the moon" He whispers in Vince's ear, tickling his upper lip and making him giggle.

"How much do you love the moon, Howard?" Vince teased, playing with Howard's long brown curls. Howard sighed, snuggling closer to Vince in the single bed, darkness surrounded them as the boys of St. Fossil's Boys' Boarding School slept.

"I love you more than the moon and I love the moon more than should because I shouldn't love you this much but I do" Vince shrugs, he's too tired to figure out the paradox. He pulls the quilt over both of them, rubbing his nose against Howards.

"You're well silly" Vince sighed, then asleep in Howards arms.

"I love you" Vince mumbled into Howard chest.

"How much do you love me?"

"I could die with all this love I have for you"

Done.

Shit, that was intense.

Please Read and Review.

Thank you.

XXX